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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

I am sick of comments about my weight....

48 replies

MamaBear17 · 28/11/2012 19:32

Long story short, pre-baby I was a size 10-12. I gained two stone during pregnancy and then after I delivered I lost the weight quickly due to the stress of dd having colic. Now that she is a toddler and I am back at work I never stop so I have naturally lost weight. I am a size 8-10, so hardly skinny, and I have lost my boobs and still have a wobbly belly.
A small group of women at work constantly comment on my weight. One woman in particular who is a bit obsessed with her own weight anyway. Today I was talking to said woman about an important issue and she started going on about how I have lost weight since last week and she is going to feed me pies! I am starting to feel a little self concious. The stupid thing is, pre-baby I always struggled with my weight, but now I finally do not care it, other people keep commenting. It is actually making me feel quite bad about myself and I find that I do not know what to say to people when they comment.

Please, can some one give me some witty, one liners that I can say in a 'tongue in cheek' way that might shut people up?

OP posts:

GrimAndHumourlessAndEven · 28/11/2012 19:35

I find your personal comments about my appearance unkind and hurtful, please stop.

ohfunnyface · 28/11/2012 19:37

I also HATE comments about my weight.

I've never figured out a good retort.

HairyGrotter · 28/11/2012 19:38

Fuck tongue in cheek, just tell her to STFU and concentrate on her own miserable weight battle.

I can't abide it, does my head in.

Original poster

MamaBear17 · 28/11/2012 19:39

I have tried saying that it makes me feel self concious, but I think that sometimes people think that because they are saying I have lost weight it is a compliment.

OP posts:

HazelnutinCaramel · 28/11/2012 19:41

As a thin person, I can tell you that people feel free to make all sorts of comments about your weight that they wouldn't dream of making to an overweight person. I've had it my whole life.

My best strategy is not to engage:

"Do you ever eat?" "No, never"
"You don't put on any weight, do you?" "No, I don't"
"I'm going to feed you pies" "Great, thanks"

Just shut them down and change the subject.

Tailtwister · 28/11/2012 19:45

I think so many people have problems with losing weight, it doesn't cross their minds that commenting on someone's weight loss might be irritating.

YANBU OP. I find comments about weight personal and intrusive, especially in the work environment. I'm sure there will be a few good put down suggestions soon!

gnocci · 28/11/2012 19:54

When I was in my early 20s I lost a lot of weight (5'8'' and

cantfindamnnickname · 28/11/2012 19:55

I have this constantly - i have lost a stone over the last 2 months and Im verging on a size 8 - i have always been a size 12.

People are always telling me that im getting too skinny, I should eat etc etc it gets very annoying after a while

whatatwat · 28/11/2012 19:56

they are rude. tell them they are rude!

YouSeveredHead · 28/11/2012 19:58

How does this relate too x, y, z?

Theicingontop · 28/11/2012 19:58

Ohh I'm so guilty of this

YANBU.

Tailtwister is right, you really don't think about the effects of your comments. You just imagine how nice it must be to be thin, and in their position you'd probably take it as a compliment (!) because you'd be so chuffed with yourself for losing it.

But I imagine it must be quite irritating when you don't even think about it, and they're just bringing it up all the time...

I bet they'd have something to say if you kept threatening to take their pies away

CuriosityKilledTheCrap · 28/11/2012 20:00

I'm an absolute medical marvel (I've had a gastric band that no-one knows about).

I'm fucking sick of it too.

Just mind your own business people.

I've lost weight because I don't eat much.

PPPop · 28/11/2012 20:03

My BIL says the exact same thing every time I see him > "where's the other half of you?!" which does get a bit wearing, as much as I love him. Its true that when you are thin, people feel its fair game to comment on your weight as compared to if you were fat.

If she says she's going to feed you pies maybe you could say "gosh, I didn't think you would have any left over!" (or in reality I'd probably just titter in embarrassment and go red)

crunchernumber · 28/11/2012 20:03

I've recently lost a stone but still 14-16.

People seem to take it as a free for all to comment.

All I hear when they do though is 'you used to be really fat', 'aren't you glad you're not fat any more'. 'you're still fat but not as much of a bloater as before'

DontHaveAtv · 28/11/2012 20:04

I get it all the time too, its annoying. I'm naturally slim even though I eat more than most people I know.
Just be sarcastic and tell them that you are worried about their unusual interest in your eating habits.

BelleJolie · 28/11/2012 20:07

I hate comments like that too. An extended family member once used to constantly comment on my appearance, weight and would comment on every bit of food I ate. Like you, I couldn't come up with a suitable witty reply. I got fed up one day and just gave him an almighty death stare. He never made another comment again.

Original poster

MamaBear17 · 28/11/2012 20:08

The novelty of suddenly being thinner without really trying wore off quite quickly to be honest. I still have parts of my body that I hate and wouldn't be seen dead in a bikini.
If I eat chocolate or biscuits at work it makes the comments worse - because I am a jammy bitch for being able to eat the chocolate without gaining weight! If I eat healthily then I'm not eating enough. I know I should probably take it as a compliment really, I just hate the idea that people are looking at me.

OP posts:

LucieMay · 28/11/2012 20:10

God I would love your problem! wobbles fat people are just jealous, see it as a compliment.

Alisvolatpropiis · 28/11/2012 20:14

I always used to go for sarky/ goading replies

"Oh how do you stay so slim?"- "Coffee,fags and diet pills obviously" - cue them shuffling of awkwardly.

Or, in response to the same question " oh I have no idea,I can just eat what I like,my metabolism is just really really fast. I'm SO lucky to not have to worry about my weight..."

I hate people who comment on my weight so empathise with you.

OnwardBound · 28/11/2012 20:21

In my experience people feel just as free to comment when you've gained weight!

Pre DC I was a size 6 - 8 at my slimmest but generally size 10 - 12.

Now I am a size 14 - 16.

The comments I get [quite often] include "Are you pregnant again?", "Congratulations!" with a meaningful glance at rounded [not pregnant!] belly, "Wow, you've put on a lot of weight, I didn't recognise you at first!", "You've gotten a bit chubbier!", etc, etc.

So people aren't just rude, insensitive or tactless when you've lost weight imo!

iamaLeafontheWind · 28/11/2012 20:45

crunchernumber I hear that too! I had to explain to my (slim) Mum why it was so annoying to hear her comments all the time about how much better I was looking. I just heard, 'God you looked crap before'.

Sorry OP, that's not much help.

Schnullerbacke · 28/11/2012 21:59

Finally had my come-uppance this year re weight comments. Visit family, far far away and different culture, every four years. Always used to get comments about my weight. Funnily, when we went to see them this year, not a single comment about it because they (several people) had put on weight themselves. I cant deny that I loved asking them what happened!

carabos · 28/11/2012 23:13

I play "mention my weight bingo". Whenever I meet someone new, or someone I don't see very often I don't know why I'm saying someone as its always a woman I make a little bet with myself about how long it will be before they shoehorn a comment about my weight / size into the conversation. FWIW, I'm 5ft4, 8.5st and a size 8, so normal and healthy, not "anorexic" or "thin" or "tiny" or "skinny" or "size zero" or even, bizarrely, "really fit".

There is no way on god's green earth that I would use the antonyms of any of those words when talking to someone bigger than me.

Lesbeadiva · 28/11/2012 23:21

I got this too op. I was way overwight and lost five stone in a year. When I was bigger I got "oh you have gained a few pounds" or my less inhibited brother "Jesus your fat" and now I am a healthy weight for my height etc i get "oh you have lost to much weight, you should stop now" or "you look ill". I have since chosen to ignore everyone and just be happy I no longer have issues and put it down to them having insecurities. . Shrug it off and let it slide. No response will make them tire of it soon!

Gwlondon · 28/11/2012 23:33

When my sister lost weight every time I looked at her she looked so different. Her face, arms everything. Eventually I got used to it.

Then once I lost weight (hasn't happened again since!) she had the same with me. It threw her.

Eventually they will get used to it and won't remember. I much more used to how my sister looks now. But at the time it was as if she was another person I was talking too. It was weird. I got distracted by it a lot. She didn't even loose that much. Thought I would share.

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