to heave all over my boots if I read one more thread about "special family traditions"

[Mintyy]

and how that interfering old hag of a mum/mil/aunty is not asking permission to buy presents or, even worse, hoping to spend some time with their relatives over the Christmas period?

Stop being so bloody PRECIOUS! and get a grip. You are part of the older generation's "special family traditions" - do you not understand??

Absolutely agree that once you are an adult, and especially when you have children, you get to decide how you're going to spend Christmas.

Can't decide if YABU or YANBU though, Mintyy. I quite like reading about the way other people do Christmas - and I've bought us all Christmas pyjamas this year based on what I've learnt on MN about How To Do Christmas!

My most favourite tradition is one that I can no longer have, however. My mum always used to send me an old fashioned, glittery Advent calendar. Since she died, that's the thing I really miss. I buy my own, but it's not quite the same!

Aww, I was looking at those old-fashioned glittery advent calendars today Biwi. I remember them fondly. However, I decided not to buy them because my dc have TWO chocolate advent calendars each (sent by dmil and dstepmum)

AitchTwoOhOneTwo I think it is lovely to have Christmas traditions but I am not going to through a wobbly if things are not done my way. It's not competitive slack parenting but more a case of not caring about things that don't matter.

Throw not though. (??? What was I thinking. ???)

who's throwing a wobbly?

Well I put my foot down with DH, thanks everyone! Said if you want to see your family we go after boxing day. He said I'm working, I suggested using his leave up and maybe we go after for New Year instead. He said he wants to spend Christmas with his family because apparently we chose to live here. Erm, no I live where I was born and so does DH. His family all moved very far away. Long story short, half siblings brought up other end of country so they've all gone back to where they were brought up, he was brought up up here and we stayed around here. Bit of a row, but we are not travelling boxing day, I've refused because it's bloody unfair on the kids to miss all their new things before they've had a chance to play with them.

DF and I have compromised. They will come to us for brunch to give the kids chance to eat chocolate/play with new stuff, etc then we will go over to theirs for Christmas dinner (which we usually eat around 5pm). A bit of a faff but a compromise we can live with.

Now if we could just somehow move the in-laws nearer than the last county in the country we'd be onto a winner!

Since this is a thread about a thread I'm recalling an earlier unpopular thread of my own or and I've name changed.
Right Minty what do I do:

I'm pretty relaxed about the whole family festive thing, nothing is essential, everything is optional, decorations go up for 10-14 days.

We now have a total excess of shit to mark the count down to xmas.
Aside from the perfectly good standard 12 page 2012 calender we've been successfully using all year. We have for two DCs:

2 x choc advent from Aunt
1 x wooden tree hang decoration on a day, given 7 years ago
1 x wooden blackboard cross off day thing, present from mother
2 x choc advent from Mother
1 x Lego calendar bought by me in September because I luffs a bit of plastic construction
1 x Elf on the Shelf that DH got overexcited about last year did really well for 3 days then got bored leaving me to fabricate its loathsome activities.

This evening MIL left a message to ask if she can send some advent calendars. What do I say?

crapthing

If I were you I would say

oh, what a lovely idea, how kind of you. Just choose whatever you like. I am sure the DC's will love it

Then you can give it to the nieghbours DC's or get the DC's to share it with their friends or you could pop it in a cupboard, and get it out when she come over.

Oh dear. This could be me I suppose.

My PIL are coming and I'm dreading it. Because we have bucks fizz for breakfast, and they will be disapprove. And we won't have lunch until way after 1pm, and they will be bewildered by that. Because lunch is 1pm, every day. And we'll have pudding after presents. Why? Pudding comes after lunch. And all this will not be left unsaid.

And yet we are still planning to do things our way. Except I shall be cooking sprouts for them. Bleurgh.

crapthing I would say

"how very kind of you. Unfortunately the DC already have been given 3 each. Would you prefer to buy them wall calendars for next year/take them for a day out/come to the nativity with us?"

TFM, I don't think there's anything wrong with what you're doing, surely those are just timing decisions you get to make as the host?

Crapthing I'm with MrsHoarder. What a kind thought but we already have chocolate and none chocolate ones. Or she'll be under the impression she has been genuinely helpful and will carry on every year. If she sounds desperate to get something then maybe get them a special Xmas tree decoration each, or dec for their bedrooms?

Thanks- will be dropping kind thought, excess already, etc into this evening s conversation.

Will hold xmas bauble in reserve...

I took the DCs, DH & MIL to see Mr Tumble in panto last year. Brilliant, I'd been in that theatre every year when I was a kid and even one year been one of the 'ballet school kids' on the stage. I was dead excited.
Turns out MIL had never been to one before. Too posh for Panto, sat there with a stick up her arse. It was like taking a po-faced anthropologist to an orgy. it completely confused the kids, their Mum shouting and laughing at one end and MIL stoney faced at the other. [she even refused a half-time wine]

You can try, but it's not always going to work. That's why there's so many threads at this time of year.

Some traditions just don't make sense. Last year we spent dd1's (5) first Xmas with the in laws ( we live overseas so hadn't done it before).
We got there 3 days before Xmas, I wrapped and put presents under the tree as we normally did. On Xmas eve PIL's had a huge meltdown because Father Christmas is supposed to bring all the presents and they wanted to take them away and bring them back in the morning. Wtf? I asked how he gets the all the presents when I had been shopping with dd to buy them? It didn't make sense to me (aged 40) how could it make sense to a five year old.
fIL would not budge, despite being 75 and not believing in Father Xmas. The only other gc was 21 and didn't believe in father xmas either. Finally dh managed to convince them that as Xmas is about the kids, can we change things for the only child in the house?
Hard to believe we are going back this year. Hopefully we won't have the same conversation. Not sure I could manage it with a baby as well.