To say no

[princesskc]

H wants car tomorrow as he has a meeting for work, this means I'll have to get the bus leaving at least an hour earlier and getting home least an hour layer than usual. Not a major issue but my neighbour takes and brings home my kids from school so expecting her to have them for ages just seems cheeky especially at last min. So I said no and he's now downstairs with huff on. Should point out its my car, his is sat on drive because we can't afford to run it after he got sack from he's previous much better paid job.
So aibu?

What is his alternative way of getting to the meeting?

Train, to be at station just before 6.

How long would the train take as opposed to the car for him?

YABU

Surely it's a family car regardless of whose name it is in if you can both drive but only afford to run one?

You come across as being selfish because you don't want to catch the bus.

Have you even asked the neighbour if she would mind?

I think you're both being a little unreasonable here - you for calling it "your car" as Maxpepsi says, if his is off the road, its a family car. But he shouldn't be sulking when you've said no. Why is it more or less fair whoever is inconvenienced with the longer journey. From what I can see though, you should use the car, but at least offer to take him to the station

Maybe a family car but the fact that OP's husband got sacked from the job that had provided money to run a second car suggests there is a justifiable amount of exasperation here. Adding 2 hours to your day and inconveniencing a neighbour when he could get a train to his meeting - I don't see that OP is being unreasonable at all in saying no.

His car is not on the road because he was sacked.

Yanbu

Why did he get sacked?

Of course I'd take him to the station, I thought that was the plan until he got home from work earlier, its the fact that he's known about this for over a week and now expects me to sort out childcare and he just sorts himself out. I say my car as I was never allowed his car. I'm annoyed that he assumes our neighbour won't mind having the kids from 7am but he won't actually go and ask her.

I think YANBU, especially as he won't even sort out the childcare. I would still like to know how long the train journey is and how long it would take by car.

Well, if he won't go and ask your neighbour, then he can get stuffed !

You have to sort out your children and your travel to and from work. You have already offered to take him to the station.

I think it is entirely reasonable to take him to the station and for him to get himself to the meeting.

He is being childish and disrespectful IMO.

As you said, he has had all week to discuss this with you, and hasn't bothered, and clearly hasn't considered the implications.

If he's not willing to sort out the kids then he has to get the train.

I used to have to get the train to work at stupid o'clock while (Ex)H had the 'family car' [i.e. his car] but it meant he had to drop the baby off at the childminder.

It semed fair to everyone that way round, even the rampant sexists in the families.

So, reversing things, it would be fair for your DH to get the bus, and for you to do the childcare drop-offs in the car.

Just looked it up it would take 3 hours to drive and 2 hours 20 by train, obviously not taking in to account getting to station from here (10 min) and getting to meeting other end.

YANBU mostly because of the timing. A week is plenty of time to rearrange childcare; a day isn't always.

Put your foot down with a firm hand. Let him sulk.

YAsoNBU - I cannot understand your husband's gripe at all. He takes the car, has a longer journey, you have a much longer journey on bus and your neighbour has to do extra two hours of childcare. It's a complete no brainer for him to get the train. Tell his to get a grip.

Surely the cost of parking the car after the three hour journey would be the same as a taxi cost at the other end to get to the meeting.

Could you get a taxi to work and back if you booked them tonight?

Which would be the cheapest option

train + taxi

or
two taxis for you?

Put your foot down with a firm hand.

I saw what you did there

He can claim back expenses as its a 'business trip' so he'd get refunded train and taxi fare or petrol money. I sat now thinking maybe I should just nip round and speak to my neighbour to avoid the pending argument when kids are in bed.

i think you can't take the piss out of your neighbour's kindness like this when he has the option of using the train and just wants the car cos it's easier for him.

And he expects to put the neighbour out like this but won't even be the one to go and ask!

He sounds really selfish.

He is being U. Why should he expect to drop this plan on you at the last minute? It inconveniences you and a neighbour, for his very slight (if at all) benefit.

It may annoy your neighbour. Spoil your relationship. It isn't worth it!

If I really wanted to avoid an argument but I didn't want to talk to the neighbour, I'd go round and then come back and say she said sorry, no, that isn't going to work for her.

But you may want to not be so cowardly

What!! Don't you dare do that OP.

YANBU he is being VU!! Sulking until he gets his way, which it looks like he's about to, is he a child?

He could have given you longer to sort this out, I don't see how him having to catch the train is a big deal, your need for the car is greater than his, therefore you should have it tomorrow.

Why did he get sacked ?