To ask what you never let your child do and what usually makes you shout?

[ATourchOfInsanity]

It occurred to me yesterday that I never really shout at DD. She is only just about to turn 16mo so I don't have much to get annoyed with her about to be fair and I imagine that will change in time.

On the other end of the spectrum, I have a friend who is constantly shouting 'NO!' at her son, which she assures me is a better way to parent as it is setting boundaries. She took a psychology degree so I wonder if I should be more shouty? It seems though that her DS just laughs at her and carries on doing climbing/whacking the TV with his 'staff' or throwing food at the wall.
On the other hand, for me, if DD goes to the door with a pen, I say noooo, but not in a sharp way, more of a 'you cheeky monkey!' way and she usually turns, grins and comes back to draw on the paper. Not every time mind! I find I save the big 'NO!'s for things like looking like she is going to open the oven when it is on or trying to pick up a glass votive eek!.

Am I starting a bad precedent for myself?

Should mention she also teaches psychology at our local college.

I have been giving her as wide a berth as I can over the last few weeks. She is quite hard work and very blunt, which I sometimes like as I find it refreshing, but with parenting she is very competitive and it makes me a bit twitchy. She thinks nothing of talking to me via my daughter "Do is your mummy going to bring you back next week to see me, so I don't have to go two/three weeks without your company?" "Is your mummy picking you up too often when you cry? Is she?" - she said these things often to DD when from 6 weeks old up until quite recently but now DD is liable to shake her head she seems to have stopped . She had a thing about me over feeding my DD too (was Bfing). DD is naturally in 98th centile for weight and height. Tried to convince me to bottle feed rather than BF when she stopped as decided the formula milk was less fattening for my DD (needless to say I didn't listen and carried on BFing until 11mo) and many many more things. Every time I see her there is something. I think I am finding it hard to give her much time at the moment, which isn't such a bad thing.

The weird thing is that DD gets really stressed at their house and does tend to cry and whinge a LOT. In turn this stresses me out a bit so perhaps she thinks I am a nightmare on wheels

I am 50 years old and I have never shouted at anyone. DH says I am not normal.

Funnily enough I am quite a shouty person but I don't didn't shout at my children very often.

Now they are teens I tell them my voice is raised through sheer exasperation and not anger - and its raised a hell of a lot more these days than it was when they were little ;)

Does she teach Psychology A level?

Doesn't mean she is an expert in child development.

She sounds like she has a degree in smartarsery

Please note - nothing against degrees in general or psychology degrees in particular.

If someone is negative about your parenting or your child, IME children do pick up on that.

None of mine needed shouting at at that age. Mind you ds was mostly curled up on my knee with an ear infection which may have helped.
With dd1 all I had to say at 16 months is "I don't like you doing that" and she stopped. You see I did superior parenting until dd2 and ds came along

What makes me shout is when i've told (usually dd2) dc that they are leaving for school in less than 5 minutes so put her shoes on, and I come up to find she's curled up reading/colouring/decided to tidy her drawers/anything but put her shoes on...

Then you hear me shout "wall, put your shoes on... look it's as quick as you..."
She knows that's the end of tether shout and does it prompto.