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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

WIBU to hand my friend the dustpan and brush...

93 replies

blondiedollface · 27/11/2012 14:37

Ok, to give me some perspective just want to ask the MN jury this...

A friend came round a couple of weeks ago and gave lunch to her DD 31 weeks - a blw lunch of broccoli and tomato. Didn't ask if it was ok but we have wooden floors so I didn't mind too much thinking there would only be a tiny bit going on the floor, obviously it went EVERYWHERE completely covering my dining room floor, she looked very perplexed when after sorting her DD she just sat down and carried on drinking her tea. I got out the dustpan and brush and said d oyou want to use these? She hadn't offered to clean up, nor asked for anything to clean with, nor said I'll do it in a minute.

She hasn't been round since, nor has she initiated texts to meet, up until this point it was a weekly meet since my DD was newborn. Was this rude of me? I would fully expect to clear up DD's mess if she made any at someone elses house so didn't think this was out of the ordinary, but seems she may have taken offence...

I'm not overly fussed as if she'd left the mess without offering I probably wouldn't have been best pleased and not text her - but AIBU?? Really?

OP posts:

WhenShallWeThreeKingsMeetAgain · 27/11/2012 16:25

I didn't get past 31 weeks - still trying to work it out into something understandable !!!

Viviennemary · 27/11/2012 16:25

She was cheeky to leave a mess. But I wouldn't ask a visitor to sweep up. But I don't think I'd been keen to invite them again if they made a huge mess and didn't at least offer to sweep up. Most people wouldn't let a baby chuck food around in somebody else's house.

pigletmania · 27/11/2012 16:32

YANBU at all, she was very rude to not ask you, on suggestion that she cleaned it up did not, you are not her save, wiuld she do that in her own house? I wld not worry about her tbh

Original poster

blondiedollface · 27/11/2012 16:33

'But if I understand correctly, your friend cleaned your high chair after her baby had eaten. Then you handed her a brush & dustpan to use and asked 'do you want to use these?''

You misunderstood, she had brought her own high chair and cleaned the mess from that onto the floor.

OP posts:

lottiegarbanzo · 27/11/2012 16:35

Ha ha ha, broccoli offers spectacular floor coverage. No yoghurt or anything sticky?

I wouldn't think of expecting to be able to feed dd out anywhere, certainly not without putting newspaper down or taking a plastic sheet with me.

But, while I see your point, I'd only be able to do this or accept this from a very close friend. I would have cleaned up myself and hoped for an offer of help. I might have commented on the spectacular effects of BLW.

WilsonFrickett · 27/11/2012 16:35

It's just a bit of broccoli and a bit of tomato though, isn't it? what am I missing here?

OneMoreChap · 27/11/2012 16:37

blondiedollface Tue 27-Nov-12 16:33:01
You misunderstood, she had brought her own high chair and cleaned the mess from that onto the floor.

I would have told her to FOTTOSOFATFOSM

Violet77 · 27/11/2012 16:39

I always cleaned up at friends houses when blw but i don't think i would have given her a brush. ( seems a bit rude, agressive even)

Dogs are your best friend when blw :-)

Chill out a bit, you have probably made her feel very small. With children there are lots of occassions when they make mess or break things or hit one another. It cuts both ways and being a bit relaxed is a good thing.

threesocksmorgan · 27/11/2012 16:42

yanbu she was rude

Theicingontop · 27/11/2012 16:48

YABU, I would be absolutely mortified. Though I would (and always do) offer to clean up my DS' mess, it's really rude of you to pointedly hand her the dustpan. Friends don't do that.

MadBanners · 27/11/2012 16:57

It was rude of her to not clean it up, but then I think it was equally rude of you to make her. I think!

If I was the homeowner, and they had not offered I would have done it and maybe thought them a touch rude, but if they had offered I would have refused and done it myself anyway! So the visitor would never have done it in either situation.

BeauNeidel · 27/11/2012 17:00

YANBU about the mess.

YABU about using 31 weeks.

Molepomandmistletoe · 27/11/2012 17:09

WTF?

Original poster

blondiedollface · 27/11/2012 19:43

WTF what?

OP posts:

SlightlySuperiorPeasant · 27/11/2012 19:47

YWNBU. Crumb trails and the odd raisin are par for the course but I wouldn't dream of not clearing up after my DC if they made a mess at someone else's house. And yes I do clean up after DS in restaurants, why wouldn't I?

Tryharder · 27/11/2012 19:53

She should have offered to clean up the mess. But you were unspeakably rude to give her the dustpan and brush. Talk about passive-aggressive.

cumfy · 27/11/2012 20:12

So you're well rid then.:)

You're right she should have offered but you do come across as being a bit PA:
Why not offer the dust pan whilst she's just finishing off the wiping ?

Decoding her response:
Well thanks but you could have offered me the dustpan earlier --- couldn't you ?

hurricanewyn · 27/11/2012 20:17

D'you know what? I'd have been fine about cleaning the baby mess up until the point where Friend used your floor as a dustbin and swept the food onto the floor from her highchair. The cheek of her.

YANBU

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