At what age should a child be able to sort his own breakfast in the morning?

[DinosaursOnAnAdventCalender]

This morning has been a nightmare. My boys woke up in awful moods, arguing before the alarm had even gone off. Ds2 had a tantrum over not wanting to put his school trousers on (he's 8, far to old for tantrums IMO) and then was stroppy and really quite rude for the rest of the morning.

I am not feeling very well and my morning sickness seems to have reappeared (which at 30 weeks seems very unfair) and toddler ds3 has a chest infection and hasn't slept so all in all it hasn't been the easiest of mornings.

I provided breakfast - blueberry muffins and yoghurt with a banana, pretty standard except that its normally brioche instead of a muffin but we had none left.

Ds2 announced that he no longer liked blueberries and wouldn't eat it. I could have given him a slab of chocolate and the response would've been the same as he was just in one of them moods. He also wouldn't eat his banana (as it had a brown mark on it) and I'm not sure of the reason why his yoghurt was unacceptable but he didn't eat it anyway.

So, as I was busy trying to force medicine and inhalers onto ds3 I told him to get his own breakfast (there is cereal in the kitchen etc) but he preferred to just sit in a strop on the chair and deliberately allow ds3 to get hold of his muffin (after I'd told him not too as ds3 would crumble it all over the floor - which is exactly what happened) so I told him to sweep the floor. Which he did begrudgingly and it took him 15 minutes when it should've taken less than 5.

Time to leave for school and I offered him and ds1 20p toast money for school as they can buy toast mid morning. It was refused. Ds2 went off protesting loudly that he hadn't been given any breakfast.

The school secretary has just phoned me to ask if ds2 has had breakfast - I said he was given breakfast but wouldn't eat it, was offered an alternative but turned it down (to make cereal/take toast money). School secretary offered to give him some toast (for free) as he was complaining of having a headache due to being hungry. I was very tempted to say let him starve and learn his lesson, but didn't and accepted the toast offer but asked her to make it clear that this was a one off and wouldn't be offered again.

So, what age should a child be responsible for making their own breakfast do you think? Was I unreasonable for not making sure he had eaten before leaving the house? Would I have been unreasonable for saying no thank you to the toast offer? He is 8 years old.

We seem to have made it through the day with no calls about him being poorly (although he knows he has cubs tonight and wouldn't be able to go if he was sent home ill). I won't be able to see him until 8pm tonight as his grandmother is picking them up, giving them dinner and taking them to cubs so it will be bedtime when they get back. I don't like to shout before bed but will have a chat with him about behaviour and manners. Can I include lies? As technically he didn't have breakfast and I did make him sweep up the crumbled muffin so he did do housework?

Hopefully it was just a one off and tomorrow will be a better morning it had bloody better be

I buy easy stuff like croissants and brioche that the younger ones can help themselves to if necessary but my ds has been making his own breakfast since 8 at least.

that said, my nephew has never made himself breakfast/lunch/dinner, never washed his own clothes, never used to dress himself etc when younger. He is now off at uni and I do worry at how his family have set him up for independent living

I have taken DS to school with no breakfast. I say so & why. It's up to school if they'd rather he was late they'll let me know.

At 8yo they can get own breakfast but not all that wise; they make a mess.

School has a toast club for breakfast refusers like DS.

Dinosaur glad he's not throwing up all over the carpet thank heaven for small mercies and fingers crossed for a better morning x

Mine are 6 and 3 and get their own cereal. I supervise pouring from the glass milk bottle for the 3 yr old.

Oh lordy i never fit in on threads like this....

Just me that makes DC2 (10) their breakfast and often will stick some toast on for DC1 (12) then?

It's no extra effort than doing my own to be fair. They CAN do it (which i suppose is the key thing) ... i just like to help in a morning ....

To be fair my Dad used to bring me a coffee in bed throughout my teenage years before i got up and i still remember it with a smile now....

Aw port you make me feel guilty now, my nan even to this day if I stay over brings me a cuppa tea in bed aw...

My 4 year old will quite happily get him and his little sister a bowl of cereal, then the dogs eat what has been dropped/spilt enroute to the table. He is also attempting to "make toast" but am not to happy about that bit yet.....

They are home.

Something is definitely up with ds2, he looks exhausted. They were at their dads until last night so I don't know how much sleep they've had but not enough by the looks if it (which is unusual as they tend to have an earlier bedtime there than they do here). They came home with ginger bread men, but as they managed to accidentally wake ds3 up even though I text their grandmother asking her not to ring the door bell and saying I'd left the door on the latch as ds3 was sleeping she still rang it 3 times in quick succession and ds3 started screaming I had to go up to get him back to sleep, forgot about the ginger bread man and when I called down to them 15 minutes later telling them to put them in the kitchen until tomorrow ds2 came up crying because he had already eaten his and thought he was in trouble.

Which is odd because I generally don't shout or tell them off that much (I don't really need to most of the time) and it wasn't his fault that he'd eaten it, I hadn't told them not to when he had it and normally they are allowed them after cubs so I wouldn't have told him off. And also because he came to me crying and properly upset. I can't recall him ever doing that. He is more likely to with hide the wrapper or argue his case - by saying he didn't know he wasn't allowed it.

I'm a little worried about him now he is either still poorly, very over tired or something else is bothering him. I will have to have a proper chat with him tomorrow as he is in bed now after a cuddle and a chat about his attitude this morning.

PortBlack On school days, I make DS13 breakfast, DD11 sometimes and I bring breakfast in bed to the boys age 8 & 4. I often make them all breakfast on weekends. It works for us.

Someone on MN said the best way to get teens up in morning was to bring them a mug of tea while they were still in bed, putting it directly into their hands.

DD is 6 and gets her own cereal. I (or DS1) get the bowls down from the cupboard but that's it.

lljk My mum always bought me tea in bed and that is why I guess I do the same for mine, I remember it fondly as a lovely thing to do and I hope mine will too. I agree no big deal to make brekkie and I guess I will until they leave home [wipe eye at thought]