At what age should a child be able to sort his own breakfast in the morning?

[DinosaursOnAnAdventCalender]

This morning has been a nightmare. My boys woke up in awful moods, arguing before the alarm had even gone off. Ds2 had a tantrum over not wanting to put his school trousers on (he's 8, far to old for tantrums IMO) and then was stroppy and really quite rude for the rest of the morning.

I am not feeling very well and my morning sickness seems to have reappeared (which at 30 weeks seems very unfair) and toddler ds3 has a chest infection and hasn't slept so all in all it hasn't been the easiest of mornings.

I provided breakfast - blueberry muffins and yoghurt with a banana, pretty standard except that its normally brioche instead of a muffin but we had none left.

Ds2 announced that he no longer liked blueberries and wouldn't eat it. I could have given him a slab of chocolate and the response would've been the same as he was just in one of them moods. He also wouldn't eat his banana (as it had a brown mark on it) and I'm not sure of the reason why his yoghurt was unacceptable but he didn't eat it anyway.

So, as I was busy trying to force medicine and inhalers onto ds3 I told him to get his own breakfast (there is cereal in the kitchen etc) but he preferred to just sit in a strop on the chair and deliberately allow ds3 to get hold of his muffin (after I'd told him not too as ds3 would crumble it all over the floor - which is exactly what happened) so I told him to sweep the floor. Which he did begrudgingly and it took him 15 minutes when it should've taken less than 5.

Time to leave for school and I offered him and ds1 20p toast money for school as they can buy toast mid morning. It was refused. Ds2 went off protesting loudly that he hadn't been given any breakfast.

The school secretary has just phoned me to ask if ds2 has had breakfast - I said he was given breakfast but wouldn't eat it, was offered an alternative but turned it down (to make cereal/take toast money). School secretary offered to give him some toast (for free) as he was complaining of having a headache due to being hungry. I was very tempted to say let him starve and learn his lesson, but didn't and accepted the toast offer but asked her to make it clear that this was a one off and wouldn't be offered again.

So, what age should a child be responsible for making their own breakfast do you think? Was I unreasonable for not making sure he had eaten before leaving the house? Would I have been unreasonable for saying no thank you to the toast offer? He is 8 years old.

At 8 I would expect him to eat what you provided. My 8 year old can make breakfast although she tends to make a mess doing it!. My 6 year old can pour cereal but I wouldnt let him use the toaster.

deff not bu, i think iw ould have been tempted to tell her to let him go hungry to teach him a lessons

eldest will make himself breakfast and will make the younger one if i ask him to aswell. i wouldnt let him do toast.. as knowing him he'd burn the house down or attemt to make witches toast in the toaster .. but thats just MY 7 ear old. but cerals// yogurts. fruit.. yeah why not :)

oh and the school does sound lovely. they only do toast for reception as ds1 school but i think its a lovely idea.

Ds is 5 going on 6 and has been making his breakfast for a year. He makes it for his sister too. Nothing cooked obviously. Though he does cook with close supervision too.

35?

My nephew can be trusted to make his and his sisters breakfast in the morning as long as it isn't porridge, he is 5.

I think they offer toast and/or milk for 20p a day, bargin! They used to come out with some fruit too but I can't remember the last time I saw them with any so they have either stopped it or its just for the younger years.

It is a friendly school, the boys are happy there and I like the staff and atmosphere, ill be sad when ds1 leaves for big school next year as this one has done wonders for him. He was badly bullied in his first school and it affected his confidence etc, we pulled him out and moved him here midway through year 1 and they really worked hard to build his self esteem back up consistently over the last few years.

Ds1 wouldn't eat a breakfast ds2 had made and vice versa as the maker might have got germs in it [sigh]

Dinosaur as an old, old mother let me tell you how this is going to play out.....

School will phone in about 2 hours to tell you DS has a temperature/bad headache/vomited everywhere.

You will pick him up, give him calpol, tuck him up on the sofa and feel guilty about the whole breakfast standoff when obviously he was feeling unwell already and thus behaved unreasonably

Or is that just how it happens in my house

Poor you OP, what a crap morning, but we've all had them. Mine was yesterday, ds1 just could not get himself together, but he was much better this morning, so I'm sure it's just a one off.

Mine are 9 and 7 and make their own breakfast, pack their bags and collect their own snack money from a jar by the door. I'm 37 weeks pregnant and I've explained if they didn't learn to make their own breakfast when the baby arrived, they would starve. It was quite a motivator They even make mine for me now and get the milk off the step and put the bottles out at night.

No TV here in the morning either, although ds1 is often trying to get dressed with a book in one hand It does not work.

Oh no TimeToSmile, ds2 was off school Thursday and Friday having been sick on the Thursday morning (48 hour rule meant he had to have Friday off too) and was generally under the weather and headachy. I hope his bug hasn't made a return. And ds1 did say he had a bit of a stomach ache this morning (although he didn't complain long enough or loud enough for me to pay attention).

I might use that Kate, as when ds4 is born in January I probably won't have time to feed them all so they will have to feed themselves!

When dd1 was 4yo we used to put bowls and cereals out the night before and she would get her own breakfast standing on fold out steps.

Dd2 was probably 3yo when we started doing that for her, but dd1 would help her.

Ds would choose not to (he's 5yo) but he's very adapt in persuading dd1 to do it for him. He does sometimes, but it's usually very messy.

Dd (8) made her own toast this morning and ceral for the toddler. She even got him in his chair and strapped him in.
She then cleared their plates and put them in the sink and cleared the table.

I totally agree with Kenleeee its not about the food its about the tantrum.

First of all my poor sons get cereal or nothing, muffins, yoghurt and fruit sound wonderful! And if the dont want that, its ok but thats all they are offered. I sometimes dont fancy breakfast so its understandably but rare. And I definitely wouldnt have offered him money for toast.

I would also be hitting the roof WRT him causing the office to call. All that lovely food offered and he turned his nose up. Totally out of line as far as Im concerned.

Perhaps Im too harsh though, ds has been getting his breakfast by himself since he was 5, but his dad will always do it for him if he is there to.

why feel guilty? He behaved badly and is suffering the consequences. That's how we all learn.

he also lied to the school (who saw through it). In deep trouble when he gets home, I hope. :-)

I've gone back to making or at least supervising breakfast as DD1 (15) has started skipping it! On Friday, I found out she had not had breakfast (although ate a cereal bar at break) and then missed lunch due to catching up on some GCSE work. I feel like I've got toddlers again.....

I get breakfast for all mine (14, 12, 10, 9 and hubby if he about, well actually rarely 14 DD as too long straigtening/curling hair!!) And we have TV in the morning news until 7 then Arthur with a cuppa on sofa, they can even play on the wii or play outside if ready for school and our TV is on after (usually late) dinner. I know all capable but they will just clutter up my kitchen floor space. Sit at table in one place I am happy to deliver. (I am such a control freak i am my mum

I let mine have tv but only after everything is done. It is the only time they're allowed to wear shoes in the house to, that 15 minutes before you have to go is tricky to fill.

I'm also in the "if you don;t eat what you're given you can wait until the next meal time" school of thought, but I'm also in the "if you haven't been sick and have no temperature then you can go to school" camp as well, and it's bitten me on the bum before now. I also suspect with timetosmile that you will get a phonecall at some point to say that he isn't well. I hope we are wrong.

I'm very impressed with the school btw!

Mine (5 and 3) get up very very early at dawn and ds at 5 gets him and his sister some cereal. He also gets her a drink of water:) I get up and give them toast, milk or whatever. Ds also puts the tv on. They are like little mice:) when i wake up, it's tv off, get dressed etc.
I would have done what you did. The school sound nice though, you are lucky.

DS2 is 6 (7 tomorrow wibble) and he can get his own breakfast although we usually get both DS's for them. If he doesn't eat it then tough he goes to school hungry.

If he was being stroppy like that I would say no computer games etc for the day. Actually prob would say all week but would cave after a couple of days!

Little bugger.

Sorry you feel like crap. Morning sickness at 30 weeks is shit.

At eat he can pour cornflakes in a bowl and throw some milk on.

Be firm

At 8 not eat!