To find it quite amusing how some people try to make out their average child is a genius?

[MiketheKnight]

I've known a couple of people like this over the years but at the moment I have one friend in particular who does this loads, and tries to make everyone else convinced he is too.

I met her at a baby group. There are 8 of us all with DCs the same age (3). I have two older children too. She in convinced her DS is more intelligent than the other children in the group. She often does a round-robin type text to us all saying a question or statement her son is meant to have said, usually involving a very complicated word such as preposterous. And if he asks a question when we are at the group, as many of the 3 year olds do, she starts asking us if we heard his question, and saying what a clever question it was, then she answers questions using a very lengthy reply during which time he has generally walked off to play and doesn't listen anyway. Latest thing is her asking on her Facebook status if anyone knows any private tutors that will tutor a 3 year old as he is apparently marvellously curious about maths and science. And I've never known such a fuss over finding a school for a child. She's talked about nothing else for months and apparently it's far more difficult for her than anyone else as they have to be very careful about where they send their child.

I'd say that he is probably quite average, and very similar to the rest of the children in the group, including my DS. His speech just seems normal for a 3 year old, he walked at the same time as the other children, potty trained at a similar time. I never hear any of these wonderful anecdotes of speech that she writes about in texts when we meet up, and his speech whenever I see him is just the same as the other childrens' speech. He talks well, as they all seem to in the group, but certainly not like a child prodigy.

I know we are all proud of her children and think they are geniuses but she really does cross the line between thinking it and making a bit of an idiot of herself.

[Kalisi]

See that is my point mangel, I find it quite sad that in some schools, a child needs to be loud, extroverted and self confident to be comfortable in their achievments.

[JollyJock]

My DS is clearly a genius. I am amazed by his abilities every day. But I don't tell people other than my mother and DH. I especially don't talk about developmental progress with people who have children because I don't want children to be compared.

Someone I speak to at work occasionally ALWAYS asks about DS's vocabulary. He has a child the same age. I'm not going to say 'DS had over 50 words by 13mo' as I know his child had about 3 words at that stage. She may since have overtaken DS, but I don't have any desire to compare the two.

It's never going to go well if you try to compare stages of children. Either you will feel bad that your dc seems to be ahead or concerned that your dc seems to be behind.

I just want my DS to have fun and do his best.

[Inconceivable]

There is a very intelligent child in my daughter's class and everyone knows. It gets discussed sometimes but very much in a matter of fact way. Just like the achievements of any other child. She is very well-liked in her class and it is never an issue. She has very nice parents too, that sometimes discuss her schoolwork but never in a smug way. Nobody has an issue with it. I am wondering whether it is the school, the child, the parents of the child or the other parents if there is an issue?

[seeker]

I am constantly amazed that any

[Kalisi]

Your poor dd laqueen that must have been very distressing for her. I understand the situation only from the memory of how things operated with the gifted children in my school ( my own ds is too young for his own genius to be noted ) so my experience may be dated.
I did not word that last comment correctly. I was responding to the implication that it is the childs personality that is responsible for how they are treated whereas I honestly feel that in some areas intelligence is not encouraged.

[seeker]

I am constantly amazed that anyone ever thinks that putting a child up a year could be anything but an unmitigated disaster.......

[MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson]

I wasn't saying that wasn't the case Kalisi, I was just saying that the reasons I stated might be why my DD has never been given a hard time about her abilities. And I do think that a child a very very confident child regardless of ability has less chance of being picked on than a more quiet, anxious child. And then, as I've said before on this thread, it all depends on the children that are in the year group with that child. It is sometimes possible to have a class/year with lots of strong dominant characters in it that gang up on any child that they perceive to be different, sometimes out of jealousy.

[MrsMangelfanciedPaulRobinson]

I agree, Seeker

[SecretSquirrels]

I have a friend like this who I love very much. I have smiled and nodded for 14 years.

I think that the only person you should boast freely to about your genius child is their grandmother. The grans can then outdo each other to their hearts content.

[FriendlyLadybird]

Apparently it never stops. My mother has had to sit through several very dull parties during which everyone goes on about how brilliant their children AND GRANDCHILDREN are. It takes ages to go through everyone's fantastic achievements.

Luckily none of us is brilliant. But we're all awfully good looking .

[AnyFuckingDude]

I am exceptionally lucky that both my dc are stupid and incredibly ugly

[PropertyNightmare]

[Mrsjay]

I remember you saying before about your daughter and being put up a class laqueen it was heartbreaking and glad you got it sorted,

[Bosgrove]

One of my friends is like that about her Grandson, he is the best at everything, he was going to crawl early (he didn't), walk early (he didn't), talk early (he didn't) and is socially above his peers (he isn't). We just smile and nod.

My DM saw him for the first time recently and commented afterwards that she was suprised how average he was, lovely child but just average, after everything she has heard my friend say over the last 2 years I think that she was expecting a child superstar.

I thing that all parents and grandparents think that their children and grandchildren are the best, of course they are all wrong....my three DC are the best, all have their faults, but are all wonderful in their own ways.

[Mrsjay]

My mum and another 'gran' have been having granddaughter wars for at least 15 yrs
my mum Oh she is in this class in the top group other granny oh well she is doing these exams
, oh well she passed all her exams with As n Bs. well she got all As and is going to be a lawyer ,
I just let them get on with it. the other granny tisked and smirrked when DD didnt go to a good uni
my mum said nothing when her grandchild dropped of her law degree except oh thats a shame . I always cringed when my mum said oh i men Xs granny today

[Mrsjay]

met*

[catkind]

It's easy to think your 3 yr old is some kind of super-genius. In my experience they ALL talk lots more when they're alone with their parents. So if you compare what you know your child can do with what you hear other people's children doing in a social setting, your child looks amazing. Plus as a parent you're attuned to the idiosyncrasies of their speech so it sounds clearer than it does to other people and you pick up things they say that might pass as babble to others. I wouldn't doubt things other people say their toddlers say. Stuff with long words they're often copying an adult rather than understanding completely. They can sound very sophisticated. They get interested in things and absorb information so they can talk like an adult about their specialist subject. Some of them get interested in numbers or reading or music and that's impressive too.
It's not so super-genius of the parent to assume her child is special, and certainly not super-genius to go around boasting about it before the PhD is in the bag.

[exoticfruits]

I have known it work going up a class, but on both occasions they were September/early October birthdays, so emotionally in line with the class above. It is rather a shame that the Aug 31st is such a cut off date-my Aug born DS would have been much better off the year behind.
I find that the truly gifted have lovely, unassuming parents-the ones who boast a lot are the ones who want to have gifted DCs-a very different thing!
That type of parent is at their worst as babies and it generally carries on all through infants and tails off at 7yrs when they are forced to accept reality i.e. the parent who has been nodding and smiling for years actually has a DC who is more advanced!!

[seeker]

'm sorry, LaQueen- my post was an expression of general frustration and irritation- it wasn't targeted at you. I am currently dealing with a parent who is convinced her child isntoo clever for reception and should be moved up- I am finding it competely impossible to explain the social issues. All she says ia "but x prefers older children" Older children, on the other hand, do not prefer her........

[blanksquit]

I think it's a tricky one really because if you are put up a class, or frequently seperated to do lessons with older dc or adults, my own personal experience was that I didn't feel I fitted in anywhere socially.