To find it quite amusing how some people try to make out their average child is a genius?

[MiketheKnight]

I've known a couple of people like this over the years but at the moment I have one friend in particular who does this loads, and tries to make everyone else convinced he is too.

I met her at a baby group. There are 8 of us all with DCs the same age (3). I have two older children too. She in convinced her DS is more intelligent than the other children in the group. She often does a round-robin type text to us all saying a question or statement her son is meant to have said, usually involving a very complicated word such as preposterous. And if he asks a question when we are at the group, as many of the 3 year olds do, she starts asking us if we heard his question, and saying what a clever question it was, then she answers questions using a very lengthy reply during which time he has generally walked off to play and doesn't listen anyway. Latest thing is her asking on her Facebook status if anyone knows any private tutors that will tutor a 3 year old as he is apparently marvellously curious about maths and science. And I've never known such a fuss over finding a school for a child. She's talked about nothing else for months and apparently it's far more difficult for her than anyone else as they have to be very careful about where they send their child.

I'd say that he is probably quite average, and very similar to the rest of the children in the group, including my DS. His speech just seems normal for a 3 year old, he walked at the same time as the other children, potty trained at a similar time. I never hear any of these wonderful anecdotes of speech that she writes about in texts when we meet up, and his speech whenever I see him is just the same as the other childrens' speech. He talks well, as they all seem to in the group, but certainly not like a child prodigy.

I know we are all proud of her children and think they are geniuses but she really does cross the line between thinking it and making a bit of an idiot of herself.

[Kalisi]

fucking hilarious me

[Hamishbear]

You can develop a child's intellect IME. I have friends who have 7 year olds who are competent at long multiplication and division (Kumon). Parents have pulled them out now they have speedy arithmetic under their belt and full knowledge of tables - typically started young. It stands them in good stead at school where conceptual understanding is deepened (they already have solid arithmetic tools). I know others who have taught their children to read and write before they start school. Again through practice and lots of exposure they tend to become competent early on. Again they tend to do well at school and stand out.

They tend to be praised early on. Then more often than not they become self motivated to do more study, virtuous circles are created etc. I'm in Asia. I've seen perfectly ordinarily children do the remarkable.

[MsElleTow]

My SIL was like that about DN. DN didn't sit still because she was too bright and was bored, unlike DS1 who, at just 4 months older, was easier to entertain because he is obviously average! DN left school with Cs and Ds at GCSE, DS1 got all A*s and As and is now doing A levels and DN is not doing anything much!

We moved school when DS2 was in year1, he was a better reader than the TA's child, and so the TA demanded to know why he was on a different reading band to her little darling!

[Bunnygotwhacked]

My ds the middle one is very clever has absolutely no common sense or spatial awareness mind (not had him assessed regarding G&T) and we don't know where he gets it from though his dad reckons it's him. I have met a few pushy mums over the years the one that really sticks out though is he one we met on a nursery visit she told me how advanced her ds was how he was building things,puzzles. How into everything and questioning he was etc etc and how it must be nice, to have a normal child. Think ds was playing with cars at this point as hers was so tiring.
I pointed and said he is teaching himself to read and write

[MargeySimpson]

eurgh YANBU!!!

I have a friend from a baby group I met when our DC's were newborn. DC's are now 18months and she recently put on facebook that she's having him 'tested' for being a genius....

the worst part is that she constantly goes on about how he's 'smarter than any other child his age' erm... like my dc? makes me angry! Especially as my DD walked months before hers did and I didn't make a big fuss at all, since they all do things at different times.

[bootsycollins]

My 2 lovely aunties obsessively claim that all babies and children our family have ever produced are all geniuses, all not true and hilarious. When they go off on a big genius rant we just counteract with " Yes and then blah blah (18 month old) translated War and Peace into Latin and sat a grade 7 piano exam etc etc". Their well meaning but it can be boring and repetitive. I can remember my boy being 2 years old and one of the aunties said he was a genius and she couldn't get her head round me disagreeing with her and worse still that I didn't want him to be a genius, yes he's a bright kid but genius is a bit strong, bless, they mean well

[vladthedisorganised]

It's funny, I am often amazed by my DD, in the general context of 'isn't it amazing what a two year old can pick up?' as much as 'isn't she wonderful?' I would generally only share an anecdote that was particularly funny or sympathetic ("Oh God, yes, ours does that too, we've had to triple-padlock the front door after that time she went out in pursuit of next door's cat..").

This can be difficult to phrase in the right way though. "It's amazing to see them reciting nursery rhymes - it's fascinating how much they remember at this age, isn't it?" for instance, means exactly what it says; rather than "My DD can recite Polly Put The Kettle On, so by next week she'll be reciting King Lear because she's obviously so talented!"

[ChickensHaveNoEyebrows]

I remember, with a cringey embarssment, turning to DH when DS1 was about 8 months old and basically saying I thought he might be Special. As in, a Gift From On High. That he might well go on to do Amazing Things. DH, to his credit, looked at me like this , patted my hand and handed me chocolate. DS1 is now 12, and does Amazing Things in his bedroom which requires a gas mask and tongs to retrieve his socks.

[MiketheKnight]

vlad, the woman I know is very much like the latter example you've just given

[mamaslatts]

Always thought DS1 was very clever, told by year 1 teacher at parents' evening recently that 'he was doing well he's in my middle band' I was but luckily had always kept my trap shut about any advanced abilities I thought he had. My dm, on the other hand, did not

[DeWe]

I knew someone at toddler group like that. When said dc was about 6-8 months they started babbling. She was convinced that the child was talking in sentences.
So you'd get
"Oh, she's just said that she really likes your coat."


"She says red is her favourite colour."

Imagine the for her when age 2yo the nursery referred her to SALT because she had less than 10 words. Apparently the nursery was just not appreciating her dd, and needed to spend more time talking to her.

The other one (and I see it on here) is people saying their dc misbehaves and people come straight back with "I can see he's really bright so he's probably bored..."
No, actually I can assure you, my ds misbehaves not because he's bored. It's because he actually does not want to do as he's told and he likes to test how far he can go. He is just as capable of misbehaving in something he finds tricky, as something he finds easy, probably more likely.

[FredFredGeorge]

I agree it's so bad when parents do this - especially as they seem completely blind to how brilliant DD is no matter how much I tell them.

[vladthedisorganised]

I thought so, Mike: still chortling at the idea of a private tutor for a 3 year old .

[MiketheKnight]

LOL vlad me too!

DeWe yes I've noticed that too

[Kalisi]

Dewe I completely agree with you. My aforementioned friend constantly reffers to her sons distinctively normal temper tantrums as frustration at being so clever. He misbehaves very frequently but ofcourse, he is just bored and needs more challenging stimuli

[MiketheKnight]

When my DS misbehaves it's because he's being a little bugger....Intelligence doesn't come into it.

[boaty]

I was a bit like this with DS1 but soon learnt when I went to toddler group, there I met another mum with a child who clearly was a G & T If my DS did anything he couldn't she took him home and made him practice until he was better at it! When my DS got a scholarship to a prep school she wouldn't speak to me!
Fast forward 10 years and my DS was a bright boy but nothing spectacular...I did have a moment when his drama teacher gushed in a luvvy way about my son saying "do you know just how talented your son is!!!?"

[blanksquit]

I know a lady a bit like this. Sadly for her ds, it's extended into school. She is very frustrated that her ds isn't do as well as she expects him to. And she has been known to blame the teachers for his lack of progress.

But she and her dh are not particularly high achievers academically. So why on earth do they expect their ds to be some sort of genius. It's a huge pressure to put on a small child.

[anothercuppaplease]

What gets me are parents who say that 'My ds is misbehaving at school because he is so bored and not challenged enough'. Maybe he is just badly behaved?

[MiketheKnight]

The woman I know is quite a superior person in lots of ways; she likes to be the best, look the best, have the most expensive things, and let everyone know that she has far better things than them, so I'm assuming her son is just part of this and that she wants to have the brightest, most wonderful charming child there is.

[Lilymaid]

As my DCs are now in their 20s I can see what then happened to all these "genius" children who were desperate to go to school when my DCs would have stayed in playgroup for the rest of their days! In most cases, they turn out not to be all that brilliant at all. And the really gifted children we have known often underachieve as adults and have the choice to do what they want to do.

My favourite incident was at the reception class welcome meeting when one of my neighbours asked if her DD could have extra homework - she hadn't even started school.

[Journey]

I think parents that boast about how intelligent their dcs are are very insecure and probably quite thick. If you come from a bright family then it isn't that big a deal if your dcs are bright since you probably assumed that they would be anyway.

The more you boast about your dc the thicker you would appear in my eyes.

Comments on early potty training and linking it to being bright would just make me laugh.

The lack of modesty and how insensitive parents like these can be is unbelievable.

All the g&t labelling that goes on in schools is over the top. The majority are just very good but not exceptional. Your truly g&t dcs only appear about once every seven years in a particular field not every year in a class.

The boy of the family coralanne describes sounds fabulous. Their lack of boasting would make me admire their ds because their attitude to their ds's ability is great.

[blisterpack]

"But she and her dh are not particularly high achievers academically. So why on earth do they expect their ds to be some sort of genius. It's a huge pressure to put on a small child. "

This is what puzzles me. Without exception, everyone I know like this are not high achievers themselves, neither are the spouses. Maybe they want, desperately, their children to break the mould so read into things that aren't there?

Years ago I was giggling with my cousin about some of the silly things then baby DD1 was doing, when she gave me a sympathetic look and said "Don't worry, all children are different, some are just SSSSLLLLLOOOOOWWWW". Imagine telling that to a mother about her baby! Hers of course is a genius.
Fast forward ten years and I'm happy to report that DD is very academic and doing very well at school, hers is average while being tutored everyday