Friend months late with ds birthday present so said it can be his Xmas present instead?

[ilikeyoursleeves]

Ok AIBU on this? My friend has not given my ds's their birthday presents yet, one was 3 in July and ther turned 5 in October. She keeps forgetting to bring ds2s and I haven't seen her since ds1 turned 5. She only lives half an hour away.

She is coming up today but just texted to say since she's so late with their presents she is going to just turn them into their Xmas presents now. Ds2 knows she's hit his bday present but she's expecting him to now wait til Xmas to open it?!!!

AIBU to think this is not on?

Sounds like she hasn't actually bought presents.

YANBU I would tell her not to bother at all if it was me.
My MIL is like this and I was mad enough when she didn't bother to turn up for my twins birthday until 5 days later despite living 15 mins away and working less than 10 mins away.

Is she struggling financially but doesnt want to say?

I would wait till she has gone then let them open them. Tell them that some people are a bit rubbish with presents and they won't get a Christmas present from her- I'm sure they will get plenty of others.

If she's got them I would let them open them as late birthday presents and tell her she doesn't need to get Christmas presents too.

none of my friends buy my children birthday presents

actually one of my friends is a bit like this, she has no children its just not forefront of her mind. A few months ago she gave my son a present that had been intended for my other son....who is 10 years older...she just never got round to actually giving it to him! I would never say anything about it or expect another present!

I don't buy gifts for friends children, and my friends don't buy my children gifts either.

I would be surprised for them to receive anything at all.

Christmas is e pensive enough buying for family.

Nobody owes your kids presents, YABU.

Sh doesn't have to buy them presents for goodness sake, you should be grateful that she does at all.

YABU.

why are you on at her about buying your kids presents? Shes your mate, not your mum

I'm another one who has never bought my friends children a present except for an 18th or 21st and my friends have never bought for mine except for their birth.

Total non issue.

She has always bought them presents, I'm not going on at her. I'm more annoyed that she asked what to get for their birthdays, got things they really want, then didn't actually give them on their birthday. She isn't skint at all, earns over £40k and has no kids herself. I think cos she has no kids she doesn't get how excited kids get over the prospect of birthday presents. I texted her to say she doesn't need to get them Xmas presents but given they know she has their bday presents it might be unfair to make them wait another month!

I am a bit like this about my nephews and nieces' presents - sorry. Again I don't have children, don't see them often or know them very well and work a lot of weekends (plus I don't see why my DH can't do it ) I find it irritating to buy a load of cheap presents twice a year for the sake of social niceties but apparently I have to. Even though if I did have DCs, I'd be quite happy if they didn't bother - I guess some people just have different understandings about who buys presents.

I shall now go and sit on the naughty step. However I wouldn't feel remotely guilty about not buying a friend's DCs presents - I might do it randomly depending on the year/occasion but don't see that it would be expected consistently.

Oh well, double time on the naughty step it is.

Leave it OP.
You're being expectant and wanty.

Non issue as the others have said.

Yeah, I also am likee this with presents, and i do have kids.

Also don't expect my friends to but my kids prsents, some do some don't. Often get them late

I think if is unusual for your kids to be hankering after the presents that she has or hasn't got them? Are they or is if you? How do your kids even know she has got them presents?

YABU. You can't expect someone without kids to make their birthday presents her priority. It will do them a world of good to wait for things they want.

Kundry I'm the same although I do have a 12yo.

YABU OP.

Next time she asks what they want just say something general rather than something they desperately want.

I'm so relieved my friends and I vetoed buying each other's households Bday and xmas presents. They all get enough and it's just pointless buying for the sake of buying.

If you were that bothered couldn't you have visited her and collected them?

If you were that bothered couldn't you have visited her and collected them?

Errr....she's not obliged to buy your kids anything, ever, is she?
Doesn't sound particularly like you are going the extra distance to spend time with her, either
Why did you go telling them they had presents coming from her, she surely can't have, if you haven't seen her

If she brings the presents today then give them to the children to open and tell them it's a joint birthday and Christmas present. In future, don't mention her presents to the children. If she arrives with something it will be a nice surprise.

I don't buy for friends children nor them for mine.

YANBU at all. Don't promise if you cannot deliver. If she cannot afford it than she should have said nothing.

I would be a bit peeved if one of my friends felt like you do about a present I'd bought for their children that wasa bit late. They're not compulsory!