Friend months late with ds birthday present so said it can be his Xmas present instead?

[ilikeyoursleeves]

Ok AIBU on this? My friend has not given my ds's their birthday presents yet, one was 3 in July and ther turned 5 in October. She keeps forgetting to bring ds2s and I haven't seen her since ds1 turned 5. She only lives half an hour away.

She is coming up today but just texted to say since she's so late with their presents she is going to just turn them into their Xmas presents now. Ds2 knows she's hit his bday present but she's expecting him to now wait til Xmas to open it?!!!

AIBU to think this is not on?

YANBU - She promised birthday presents - she should make good that promise.

Normally I'm in the expect nothing camp, but as she has vocalised birthday presents - then thats fine - just give them to the children but tell them not to expect christmas presents.

As a side issue this irritates my lower bowel and gives me piles She isn't skint at all, earns over £40k you have no idea of her outgoing, mortgage/rent, pension commitments etc.

I have a friend and we both end up doing this. Her dc's got their Xmas presents just before a birthday. Their birthday presents were handed over in the summer holidays. I wouldn't dream of keeping them until the next celebration as I genuinely intended them to be for the earlier one. It's just we don't get to see each other that often and sometimes it's easier/cheaper to hold on to them than post them.

Since its going to make no difference really when they open them, and they are expecting a birthday present, let your dc open it when she's gone. But don't let her tell them it's either an Xmas present or that she will be getting them one. Tell her you appreciate the thought but don't want the children to have their hopes built up if there is going to be a delay. Better to say nothing and if a present turns up its a bonus, than have a child expecting something which is not going to come.

Either that or suggest you exchange token gifts for the children - a selection box or something small.

It's not something that would bother me. Its nice she buys your kids presents not being family.

We stopped doing presents for friends kids years ago - try that instead
It's grabby to be moaning on about presents like this
Perhaps the problem is that you asked for something specific that the kids really wanted and have been waiting for? If so, you put your kids in that position. In future, just ask for something general like 'art stuff' if you are asked.
And why on earth do the kids know that they have missed out on a bday present? My 5 year old would not notice unless I drew her attention to it

Haha, I did this last year - started knitting my friend's twins some scarves for their birthday in September but didn't manage to finish in time, so decided to defer things until Christmas. The scarves were probably more appreciated in late December than early September anyway. I have a track record for doing things like that - people know that I hardly ever get my arse into gear to get anyone a present but when they do get something chances are I've put a bit of thought and effort into it. The adult friend who got a mini scarf rather than a full-length one didn't seem too disappointed either...