wibu to tell the chugger to f#$# off?

[fallingsun]

I was walking down the high street, hurrying as it was cold and I wanted to get home. A chugger bounced in and started cooing at 11mo dd, saying 'oh soooo cute' etc etc. I ignored her, partly as she hadn't addressed me and partly because running the gauntlet of chuggers really annoys me. Anyway, I blatantly wasn't interested, but the chugger kept going, trying to get in dds face and my way. When the chugger was still there despite me practically running to escape ten paces layer, I turned to her and quietly told her to f#ck off.

I'm don't normally swear, especially not at someone, but she really irritated me, I especially didn't like the fake cooing of dd as an excuse to get my attention. Wibu?

[FreakySnuckerCupidStunt]

They're just doing a really, really shitty job. I try and be polite to them and tell them 'no thank you', if they're really aggressive about it and refuse to give up I would probably lose my temper though.

[strumpetpumpkin]

YANBU, theyre fucking annoying. You didnt stop, it was obvious you werent interested, she was pushing it. It was the risk she took.

Theyre getting pushier and pushier and it pisses me off

[MsPickle]

I can't remember where I picked up this tip but it works beautifully: say "je suis desole, mais je ne parles pas francais" or "es tut mir leid, aber ich kann kein Deutsch". Even If they do have either language the momentary confusion gives you time to get away cleanly!

[IslaValargeone]

YANBU
I decline their offer politely at first but if they can't take no for an answer and try to block your way a fuck off would be the least they deserved.

[specialsubject]

They are soliciting charity donations BUT they get a massive cut, so it is a TERRIBLE way to give to charity.

OP's reaction is understandable. I tell them that I don't buy services sold on the street.

on balance: YANBU.

[Pilgit]

if i didn't work in central london i would probably agree that the reaction was unreasonable. However there are soooo many in central london that are that persistent - or worse aggressive that this is often the reaction they get - they are a pest. I now boycott any charities that use them as a result and most of the other people i know who work in london are the same- so using chuggers is going to backfire on them.

another question is to ask them how much commission they get - a lot work on a commission basis rather than being paid a wage and the commission makes your donation sometimes largely pointless!

[TheFarSide]

If your job is to bully people into donating to charity then you must expect to be told to fuck off occasionally.

I have always supported myself financially by working but I have never done a job that I thought was unethical, no matter how desperate, so I wouldn't waste too much time worrying about the poor chuggers.

[wonderstuff]

YABU a polite 'I don't have time' would have been effective - swearing at people is really nasty.

I was a professional fundraiser for a while - its a really difficult job. Out in all weathers - lots of rejection and rude people - I used to talk to a lot of drug-dealers and homeless people - I only lasted a few months.

They are raising money for some excellent causes. Chuggers are not on commission - they aren't taking a massive cut out of your donation - the charity commissions the fundraising company to gain x number of supporters at y rate per supporter - the company I worked for charged a set amount per new donater, the charity was only spending when it was getting money in. If it wasn't cost effective then the charity wouldn't commission it. The average donation of £5 a month lasted 5 years, so raises £300 - when I was working (in 2002) I was getting £7 an hour and targeted to gain one sign-up an hour - so if I made my target then it really was very cost effective. I don't know what the company I worked for charged - per sign up though.

Charities like street sign-up because they are getting a profile of donator who doesn't respond in other ways.

[ImaginateMum]

I get approached around ten times a week, plus charity collectors daily (same patch, different charities) and several Big Issues sellers. I am sure they all think I am horrendous but I cannot give to them all! I was only rude the one time I was sworn at though.

Conversation went like this:
Him: "Do you want to save the world?"
Me: "Not now, sorry, in a hurry"
Him: "What is it with you bl*dy women, everyone who has walked past has said they are in a hurry. You can't all be in a f*cking hurry"
Me: "Yes we bl**dy can when you are standing right near three schools at school pick up time!"

[BeatTheClock]

Yabu. There's no need to be so rude no matter how irritating they are.

[Cahooots]

That does sound really really irritating....

I would have been tempted to do the same but maybe not quite so sweary.

[wonderstuff]

ImaginateMum if someone spoke to me in that way I would be contacting the charity/talking to his supervisor/employer - that is awful!

[JambalayaWarmMincePie]

I got told to fuck off once by a chugger.

She came bouncing towards me, but I has a mouthful of Wispa. (It as just after they re-launched, I was so chuffed! ) I was trying to mime my mouthful, when she said "Fuck off then, Misery!"

After swallowing my mouthful, she got one! And she'd been overheard by several passers by too,who all chipped in. Probably never spoke to anyone in the street again after that.

[ImaginateMum]

Wonderstuff - I absolutely should have, you're right. But I was genuinely in a hurry and didn't pay enough to his bib or appearance. Because I pass chuggers so often I have developed this kind of fixed gaze where I stare into the distance past them. I find the moment I focus on them in any detail, then the patter starts.

[Tweasels]

It is irritating and I have no idea how charities make any money from this method but.....

I work with unemployed young people and this is one of the very few jobs that seem easyish to get. I spoke to a young woman today who left after one day in tears because people were so rude to her which she wasn't expecting. She is desperate for work and bless her, thought she was doing a bit for charity too but after a full day of being told to fuck off, called a cunt and threatened with violence it was back to the dole queue.

So in view of that YABU.

[blueemerald]

If a stranger followed me 10 paces or so down the road when I was pushing a buggy trying to fuss over my baby after I had already ignored their initial attempt at interaction I would have no qualms about telling them to fuck off. Why would the fact that they are trying to get my money/"doing their job" make a difference?

[GrendelsMum]

To be honest, in the scheme of things, I don't think it's appropriate to behave aggressively to someone for the behaviour this woman displayed, and saying 'fuck off' to someone is aggressive behaviour. So although she wasn't behaving well, I don't think your response was proportional.

Saying "No thank you," or similar is generally equally effective.

The other day, a chugger came up to me straight after I'd heard that a friend had been diagnosed with cancer. "You're looking very cheery today," he said. I was so taken aback I just said "No," and walked on. He didn't say anything, so perhaps there was a lot of meaning in my 'no'?

[TheDuchessOfEarl]

YANBU I'd tell anyone who expected me to give them my bank details in the middle of the street to fuck off.

[TheFarSide]

Badgering someone for money is aggressive behaviour, GrendelsMum.

It's a shame that some naive young people take chugging jobs thinking they are doing something worthwhile, but it's a useful lesson for them that some forms of employment are not entirely ethical.

And why should we be nice to people who are behaving aggressively or unethically?

[HildaOgden]

I can never understand who signs up for these things,I mean do people really hand over their bank account details and sign a direct debit form to random strangers with clipboards in the street?They must do,I suppose,otherwise chuggers wouldn't exist.

I wouldn't have been too polite to someone trying to charm me through my baby in order to make a sale either.Although I'd have resisted the urge to tell them to fuck off and instead told them their arse was on fire,it always startles people and makes them turn around rapidly,which provides me with both an escape route and mindless amusement

[SantaisBarredfromhavingStella]

Lol Hilda , your arse is on fire-I love it & will be using

[Geeklette]

hilda I love it - racked up for next week when I will be no doubt running the chugger gauntlet once again.

Like MrsPickles I sometimes answer "mae'n ddrwg gen i, dwi'n brysur iawn" - there's not a person in England who can understand Welsh

btw YANBU, they are getting far too pushy these days. I wish councils would limit the number permitted in any particular square mile. Charity collectors aren't allowed to rattle their tins any more as it constitutes begging, so I don't see why chuggers should be allowed to follow you down the street and get in your face.

[GrendelsMum]

TheFarSide I don't think the woman was in this case behaving aggressively, as far as the description is given. She was behaving annoyingly by following the OP and cooing at the baby, but her behaviour as described here isn't aggressive.

[JudeFawley]

The town where I walk is packed with chuggers in their red fleeces, grrrr.

My usual trick is to pretend to talk or text on the phone. Nonetheless, today I got the, 'hello beautiful lady!!' in my face. They always try something like this, it makes me want to say FUCK OFF!

Get a proper job.

[hermioneweasley]

YABVVU. No matter how irritating this person was, you remain responsible for your reaction which was far ruder and more aggressive.