AIBU to think that a Carer for a lady with Dementia

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Should not take money off of her for lunch on a trip out.

My Aunt has vascular dementia, she also has a Learning Disability and a significant Physical Disability that means she is in a wheelchair. She currently lives in a nursing home. She still has some insight, but even before the dementia began, she had a mental age of about 10yo.

Today she went out shopping at the Xmas market with a Carer, employed by the nursing home. She had £40 to spend. She came back with a pack of Xmas cards that cost £6, a small vase (Dont know how much that cost as no receipt) and no money. Apparently they had lunch, and she paid for the Carer's lunch as well as her own.

I thought that the Carer would have had an allowance or something to get lunch, not expect my Aunt to buy it. My DM doesn't want to "Cause Waves" so will not report it, but AIBU to report this anyway?

Ask for receipts for everything. I would also tell the home that staff expenses are their business to cover. Also a quick phonecall to the POVA team at the local council to ask their opinion on this might be helpful.

I don't know about these things, but it sounds wrong.

If she has a SW tell him/her. This could be financial abuse. Very serious.

Doesn't sound right to me. Surely her meals whilst working must be covered on expenses?

I also do not know about these things but agree with all the above.

She should have recipts for everything.

I don't think using her money to pay for her own lunch is unreasonable, however the carer should have paid for her own

I have a couple of friends that have full time personal assistants/carers. One of them employs his carers directly and the other goes through an agency. Both are responsible for feeding their PAs, and when we go out to restaurants, they both always pay for the PAs, and more often than not, the PAs are lovely and don't take the piss and order lobster and the like. They are both responsible for providing their food at home too.

I don't know if it makes a difference if they are full time assistants or just ones that come for trips out and short periods of time, I expect it depends on different contracts. But I wouldn't automatically jump to assume there's something dodgy going on.

If your Aunt wanted to eat at a particular place and offered to pay, then what was the lady supposed to do? I doubt they get food allowance from a care home.

Yes, I thought that she should have either had a lunch allowance or be able to claim it back. No receipts for the lunch either.

She does have a SW, but she moved from one LA to another so that she was closer to us when she went into the Nursing Home, so do I contact the LA where she lives or the LA where her SW works? Or both?

Wrong wrong wrong.
I have been in charge of patients with dementia and if we went out nothing was ever bought without a receipt and no way would they be paying for someones lunch!
Speak to ward/home manager as soon as you can

Sort, read too quickly and missed the bit about the lady being employed by your Aunts residential home. But I still wouldn't assume it's something dodgy, your Aunt probably had a lovely time.

The home will have a policy on things like this, ask to see that or see if its available on the Internet.

It depends on the policy of the care home. I used to work with vulnerable adults in a residential care home run by a national organisation. Their polcy was that the residents had to pay for the carers food and drinks when out, but we were expected to be very reasonable, not abuse this and absolutely had to provide receipts for everything. Most of us bought our own stuff.

First port of call is the home manager and register a complaint. Do you have power of attorney or a deputyship for your aunt? Who manages her financial affairs? I would also contact her social worker and make it very clear what has been happening and that you are not happy. This incident may sound trivial but it is financially abusing a vulnerable individual and needs to be stopped.

Contact her sw (not the la where she lives). Also the nursing home as they employ the carer.

If your aunt had offered to treat her carer to lunch it "might" be ok but more likely the carer should have declined (I work for social services and we aren't allowed to accept any kind of gift from service users).

Care homes should give an allowance for food unless resident's meals are paid for on a meal by meal basis! When I worked at a care home and we took residents out to town we had an allowance from petty cash for their meals and ours. We were not allowed to take 'presents' from residents and that would include meals out. (Though this rule was relaxed a bit at Christmas but we were only allowed to accept small gifts/cards).

I wouldn't assume anything just yet, but I would certainly investigate as this does not sound usual for a care home, and if she has dementia was she aware of what she was spending her money on?
However, yes, private 'in home' carers often don't have a meal allowance and so it is more usual for a patient to provide them with lunch though they don't have to.

I would imagine she has to pay for her own meals off site.

The daily food allowance for nursing homes is about £3.50 per day per resident. Average.

I can not see them paying say £10.00 for one meal off site.

The carer though possibly could claim her onn back on expenses. as she has incurred this as part of her job.

Is it possible that the carer has the receipts? perhaps to claim back what was spent?

I would approach the home manager in a calm conversational way and ask about procedure.

Do you visit the home alot? because they may not discuss it if they haven't met you before, without some sort of evidence you representing your aunt.

If they won't call her SW.

The LA and my DM have joint responsibility for her money. The Carer is not a PA, but one of the care assistants who work at the nursing home. It's the no receipt that is bothering me more than anything.

Surely if the policy of the home is that she pays for the Carers lunch on trips out, there should still be a receipt?

Do you know there is definitely no receipt?

Could the carer have it?

Yes, we visit her regularly, 2 or 3 times a week. That's why she came into a home closer to us, so that we could see her as much as she wanted.

My DM visits her every other day.

Carer should have taken packed lunch or provided own.

I manage a care service. Care staff should be bound by a policy that they should not accept any gifts or hospitality, anything else permits financial abuse.
Sometimes carers share a meal with a service user at their homes to ensure they eat and provide company but this is fairly exceptional.

No, there is no receipt. My DM was there when they came back. There was no receipt for the Xmas cards, just the price ticket on the packet.

And if my Aunt paid, why would the Carer have the receipt. The Carer couldn't claim back what my Aunt spent surely? Every other time she has gone out, the receipts are in the bag with what she bought.

Yes, this sounds potentially dodgy. I would politely inform the home you're concerned and ask for their policies both on staff meal expenses, and accepting gifts from a resident. From there you will have a better idea of what, if anything has gone wrong.

It depends, if a client wishes to go out for a meal and have their carer accompany them then really the client should pay.

Some people don't like eating alone and enjoy someone with them, it can be part of the enjoyment of a day out.

Some places do not allow you in if you are not ordering anything, I take a packed lunch to work and my own dinner, I cannot afford to eat out, care pays minimum wage!

I would ask about the policy on this though as it varies from place to place, but under every circumstance a receipt should always be provided. This is where it sounds dodgy for me if there wasn't.

How did you find out that the carer bought lunch with your Aunt's money? If there were no receipts, did she tell you herself or did Aunt let it slip somehow?

Carer should have bought her own, I'm only asking the above in case there was a mix up. Like others have said, check the care company's policy and address with her employers if necessary.

Don't be too hasty and jump in. It depends on the circmstances and what has been agreed and the allowances that they are in receipt of. It is not necessarily financial abuse.

But you are right to question it and ask them to clarify.