to use a disabled toilet if I've got the buggy?

[MrsHelsBels74]

Pretty much as the thread title says, if you're out in public & need to loo but can't fit the buggy into a normal cubicle is it acceptable to take the buggy into the disabled toilet? I'd never use a disabled parking space but did this today in desperation. So, is it ok or still a no-no?

seoladair Fri 23-Nov-12 20:53:22
Instead of bickering amongst yourselves, why not put all that energy and collective Mumsnet power into a campaign to get major shops to set up proper baby changing facilities with loos specially for parents?

I think seoladair has a good point - if more places had cubicles like this, then there'd be far less issues around parents taking pushchairs into disabled toilets - either because that's where the only baby change is, or because they're unwilling to leave the baby outside a cubicle while they use the toilet.

This discussion is purely for the sake of some good old fighting. It will not change anything, as most disabled toilets have baby changing tables anyway.

This country has truly amazing facilities and support for both disabled and parents, compared to the rest of the world. We should all count ourselves very lucky.

lots of people saying buggies won't fit in the cubicle, and they wouldn't leave it outside, well no I couldn't leave it outside either because ds would get incredibly distressed, but as I said earlier -When ds was non standing/sitting/walking, I carried a folding mat in a carrier bag which I'd put on the floor of the cubicle. If the floor looked too grim (I know all toilet floors are grim!) I had to do the going to the toilet with the door propped open by the buggy thing, because ds would have screamed the place down being left outside (very bad separation anxiety).

I would have struggled with holding ds whilst weeing, but as long as I put something on the floor I would put him down.

There were no baby changing facilities either until they were campaigned for in the 70's. dm was one of the campaigners.

I think this debate highlights the fact that what we have is still grossly inadequate. We need family toilets. I have seen them in some branches if John Lewis. They have a roomy baby changing area plus some cubicles some of which are child sized with no gender indication either way. Plus you could more realistically leave the buggy outside the cubicle as its much less public in there.

I would hate to make a disabled person wait for the loo and have only very unintentionally managed it once in all the years of taking a buggy in the disabled/changing loo but left with Jo other choice what can we do?

Even mothercare with their standard feeding/changing rooms don't provide a loo fgs

maybe this is what we need.

Ok so obviously we need to try & campaign for better parent/child facilities. I don't even know how to begin that. (it's early & I haven't had enough caffeine yet!).

I know child abductions are rare but I am just not happy leaving the buggy outside the toilets (outside the cubicle where possible is fine, outside the room no). I would only use a disabled loo in desperation not as a matter of course.

Sorry if this topic has been done to death, I didn't realise it would stir up such strong feelings & it has certainly made me reconsider the nature of disability (i.e. that you can't always see a disability and the continence issues that sometimes accompany said disability). So it's been useful for me if no-one else.

I really can't believe that people are suggesting that I should sit on the toilet, changing my tampon, having a wee, perhaps even a poo if I need one, all with the door wide open with only a buggy to protect my modesty. Do people really really think that this is acceptable? Also I have never ever seen another woman actually doing this in real life.

seriously i dont see a massive problem with using them if empty,emergency BUT

as parents we choose children as a choice the diasabled dont choose their disability and i dont think everything should be laiid on for parents with children we already do this with child parking and many other areas

why cant we just get on with it instead of always expecting allowances because we have kids (i have three,twins and a toddler)

having kids dosent trump everybody that dosent and can think of other things to campaign about

so even if i dont see a problem to much with mothers using them i really feel that parents do expect alot sometimes these days

and yes my response is mixed if this makes any sense at all

A lot of shopping centres have family rooms; toilets with baby changing facilities so you can go in there with your buggy, some have larger toilet cubicles so you can take the buggy in with you (just turn it around so your baby can't see). I can't see what the problem is with parents using the disabled facilities if these were not available though, if a disabled person needed the loo whilst a parent was in there, then this would be the same as if a disabled person was already in the loo wouldn't it? They would have to wait regardless.

Threads like this have been started so many times, and they always turn into a bun fight. Same as private Vs state school threads, SAHM threads... Zzzz.

I use them. I am not leaving my buggy outside a cubical, I am also not taking my DD out and holding her whilst trying to use the toilet, oh and the shopping as well apparently.

I have used these toilets numerous times, not once has a disabled person come out or gone in, I haven't inconvenienced anyone.

I'd do it if I wanted a quick wee and there was no disabled person in sight. Why on earth not?

Sod it, why don't you just go prepared and take an empty bottle out with you? I did read somewhere that it's perfectly legal for a pregnant woman to piss in a Policeman's hat. I've no idea if it's true. Or you could all just pop to your GP and get a catheter fitted every time you have to go shopping.

Just use whatever loo you can (have been known to use the gents toilets when there's been a large queue for the ladies, but that was back in my rugby playing days).

I got stuck in the gents recently, and I am not far off 50.

It makes sense. They don't really use the cubicles so there's rarely a queue. Pleased you managed to escape, Hully.

In my local costa there is only one toilet. due to the legal requirement, that toilet is by default the disabled toilet. Presumably able bodied coffee drinkers with babies that need their nappy changing should not use this toilet in case a disabled person suddenly becomes desperate while they are in there?

I am all for not abusing the disabled facilities. But some of the suggestions about what people should do instead are a bit ridiculous.

ok, scenario 1: baby has explosive nappy, covered in shit, baby change facility is in wheelchair accessible toilet. Is it still not acceptable to use it?

scenario 2: large queue for ladies, toilet training toddler desperate for a wee, disabled toilet free. Should toddler just have to wee themselves?

Some people on here seem to saying that it's ok for babies/children to be left soiled/uncomfortable just in case an adult becomes soiled whilst waiting?

Why should a child not have the same rights as an adult?

As many pp have said, these toilets are not for the sole use of disabled people and don't get me started on the bloody buses.

I use disabled loos pretty much every day when out with one year old DS and had no idea it was controversial. I've never come out to find a disabled person waiting (non-disabled people, yes).

Many people have also explained that they are for the sole use of people with various disabilities.

so are the changing facilities only for the use of disabled parents?

I'm fed up with "if I can see any disabled people around" cause how the fuck do you know if a person is disabled?

People have said many times on this thread that if it is the only changing facility, of course you should use it.

How can they be for the 'sole use of people with various disabilities' if they have a baby changing station inside? You also can't see a lot of disabilities.

seoladair Fri 23-Nov-12 20:53:22
Instead of bickering amongst yourselves, why not put all that energy and collective Mumsnet power into a campaign to get major shops to set up proper baby changing facilities with loos specially for parents?

How big issue is buggies in disabled toilets? how many disabled people find it an issue irl?

I always used disabled toilets, mostly because it is clear on the door it is for babies too,

I have never found a disabled person waiting.

If you do use the disabled toilet to change a nappy please LOCK THE SODDING DOOR - or my disabled son will squat down and use the toilet next to you (buggered if I can stop him).

If the disabled loo is full I take teenage ds1 into the ladies with me which is starting to set the lemon suckers off given his age. (And it's getting hard to fit both of us into a cubicle now he's 5 foot 6.

So by all means use a disabled loo if there is no other choice, but if you're using it because it's slightly easier please don't. You may be forcing someone to run the gauntlet of the tut tut brigade and pushing their already high blood pressure a little higher.

You won't find my disabled son waiting because he'd scream the place down rather than wait. So if it's full we're in the ladies giving the pillars of society something to suck lemons about.