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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

to use a disabled toilet if I've got the buggy?

800 replies

MrsHelsBels74 · 23/11/2012 12:28

Pretty much as the thread title says, if you're out in public & need to loo but can't fit the buggy into a normal cubicle is it acceptable to take the buggy into the disabled toilet? I'd never use a disabled parking space but did this today in desperation. So, is it ok or still a no-no?

OP posts:
whathasthecatdonenow · 23/11/2012 22:44

Perhaps we should just hide people with disabilities away again, so that they don't get in the way of all these mothers who can't manage to go to the loo. It is truly amazing, all those women in the past who must have pissed themselves or had their babies abducted when facilities for the disabled didn't really exist.

GhostShip · 23/11/2012 22:45

Now you're being pedantic whathas.

SirBoobAlot · 23/11/2012 22:45

You don't see why your wording is offensive?

Here, have a fucking Biscuit.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda · 23/11/2012 22:47

No flaming I never said that at all. Your words, not mine. But I assume you never go into a queue in a shop either?

No you didn't say it, you trailed off in a passive aggressive manner instead. And no, I never go into a queue in a shop. I send my husband or daughter instead but I can't send them to the toilet for me.

OliviaMumsnet · 23/11/2012 22:48

Peace and love
Thanks

mymatemax · 23/11/2012 22:52

cheshire, either face the child the other way or just accept that the child is not going to be scarred for life just for seeing men pee.... little boys do it all the time

threesocksmorgan · 23/11/2012 22:54

I am with mn hq
how about a bit of peace and love for disabled people?

Glitterknickaz · 23/11/2012 22:55

would be nice... doesn't happen though

mymatemax · 23/11/2012 22:56

FFS Its just human kindness & consideration. If you dont ahve a disability dont use the disabled loo.
For us it is often the only way physically i can take my severly disabled 10 yr old to the loo.
Its not a choice, we either take him in to a disabled loo or we take him home.

you wouldnt choose to sit in a wheelchair cos its "easier" than walking.
If you've got children in a buggy & they arent old enough to walk in to the cubicle with you then you leave them strapped in, in the main toilet area by the sinks... really they are very safe!

threesocksmorgan · 23/11/2012 22:56

no I don't think it will, the excuses on her are so thick...
people scared that their child might be touched by a dirty child...
see a man wee.....
I am waiting for ....aliens might land and take them off in the space ship

Ilovecake1 · 23/11/2012 22:57

I find this AIBU a tricky one!! I am a mum and have two LO with only 11 months between them. I was impossible for me to go to the loo when we were at the shops as the double buggy would never fit in a cubicle. On a few occasions I was forced to use the disabled toilet...but I would always feel so guilty and would only use it when there was no queue etc.

2 years on our LO has a diagnosis of several things including Crohn's Disease and when she needs the loo she desperately needs the loo!! Waiting couple of minutes in a queue is impossible for her and due to her other diagnosis she is physically unable to use the NT toilet as its sensory overload!!

Kneedeepinshittynappies · 23/11/2012 22:57

Or peace and love for all?!? Smile

whathasthecatdonenow · 23/11/2012 22:57

Unfortunately I doubt there will be peace and love whilst people continue to begrudge disabled people the use of facilities that they have campaigned for and which make their lives a tiny bit easier.

GhostShip · 23/11/2012 22:58

Sirboob - no I don't. I said sorry I didn't mean to be rude, and that it was a genuine question. Have a fucking Biscuit yourself.

Flaming - fair enough. I am sorry for asking what must have been a sore question. I hope there's adequate seating for you because there isn't in any of the shopping places in my area and people have to stand.

GhostShip · 23/11/2012 22:58

whathas - yet again a sweeping statement. No-one begrudges anything!

threesocksmorgan · 23/11/2012 22:59

glitter how dare you see things

MsElleTow · 23/11/2012 23:01

Ghostship, I am in agony all day and night, every single day of the year. I can only go out for short periods of time because it hurts so fucking much. Standing still in a queue is incredibly painful. Should I not go out? Hmm Angry

Glitterknickaz · 23/11/2012 23:01

I know... haven't even had any booze tonight!

mymatemax · 23/11/2012 23:03

& as for why shouldnt a disabled person wait... well after years of hard work using the peeing & pooing in the toilet is about the only thing that my 10 yr old can do the same as most 10yr olds... that is about 90% of the time.

If by chance another disabled person is in the loo & we have to wait there is a very good chance he will mess himself... day over off we go home wiht a wet child, wet wheelchair etc. A couple of yrs ago it was easier for us to use the normal loos, hes older now, less physically able & less able to cope in the public loos.
The more people using the loo (when they could go in the normal loos) the more likely we are to ahve to wait, so we either make the decision to put him back in nappies or we stay at home.

GhostShip · 23/11/2012 23:03

MsElle - When did I say you shouldn't? You're purposely saying emotive things to make me look bad (or even worse). I asked why she couldn't stand and wait for loo, if she had made it to the loos in the first place. Because I assumed she'd be shopping if it meant public toilets, which can involve lots of walking and standing still. I meant no harm.

threesocksmorgan · 23/11/2012 23:04

ghostship you are deliberately asking stupid stuff.

whathasthecatdonenow · 23/11/2012 23:06

I do apologise for my "pedantic" "sweeping" statements. Having seen both of my parents struggle with disabilities and have their lives made worse by the ignorance and plain nastiness of some people, I tend to get het up about these things.

FlaminNoraImPregnantPanda · 23/11/2012 23:06

Flaming - fair enough. I am sorry for asking what must have been a sore question. I hope there's adequate seating for you because there isn't in any of the shopping places in my area and people have to stand.

To be honest, I rarely go shopping. I rarely go out at all as it is too much for me. When I do go, I usually park myself in the cafe near the entrance and send my personal shoppers (husband and daughter) off with strict instructions. Daughter is very good and always comes back with something perfect. Husband has to have several attempts before daughter steps in. If I have to walk around the shops myself I can only manage 1 and then I have to go home.

CouthyMowEatingBraiiiiinz · 23/11/2012 23:09

I know not everywhere has the same facilities - when I have managed to get further afield only on Hospital visits at other hospitals mind you, I have been disappointed by the offerings in the way of conveniences for disabled people, as compared to my local town. I guess we are spoilt here!

I still can't see why Mothers can't do what has been done since Public conveniences were first built, and leave the prams outside the cubicle though.

OK, even I have to admit, IF there had been an attempted abduction locally, I might get a bit funny about it, but normally, no.

And I don't tie up the disabled loo longer than I need to - once I have been to the loo, I leave and go into the baby changing room with DS3, so I'm not tying up the loo longer than need be.

And yes, it DOES cause me more pain to stand still in queues than it does to keep moving. My joints seize up. Which makes it all the harder to clean myself up if I have wet myself through having to wait while yet another able bodied person comes out of the disabled loo with their pram and says "oh, sorry, I can't see my baby in the ladies".

Yeah, like that's going to leave her with wet trousers stuck to her legs and seized knees meaning she can't remove them without calling for the first aider. Hmm

GhostShip · 23/11/2012 23:10

threemorgans - Ye of course I am, I love making myself look stupid Hmm

Flaming - I really am sorry, I just genuinely didn't know the situation would come about, in your case.

But I still stand by what I've said with everything else :)