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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Original poster

to use a disabled toilet if I've got the buggy?

800 replies

MrsHelsBels74 · 23/11/2012 12:28

Pretty much as the thread title says, if you're out in public & need to loo but can't fit the buggy into a normal cubicle is it acceptable to take the buggy into the disabled toilet? I'd never use a disabled parking space but did this today in desperation. So, is it ok or still a no-no?

OP posts:
whathasthecatdonenow · 23/11/2012 19:26

Totally agree with MsElleTow.

Sirzy · 23/11/2012 19:29

So why are they called DISABLED toilets then if anyone can use them?

A pushchair isn't a physical access problem. It can be a PITA but there are plenty of ways around it without using facilities which could very easily leave someone else struggling.

goralka · 23/11/2012 19:30

but sometimes a pushchair IS a physical access problem ......

DayShiftDoris · 23/11/2012 19:31

I live in town that as ONE set of public toilets - there is NO way you could get a buggy in the ladies, the baby changing doesn't have a toilet (hell its locked and you need to find a non-existent member of staff for the key) and the disabled loo is has a radar lock. There are a few cafes with toilets but none with changing facilities (as they get abused by non-customers)... there is no John Lewis, Mothercare or Debenhams...

There are 2 supermarkets & a surestart centre a 5-10mins walk away but well out of the town centre.

I used to go home if I needed to pee as leaving my buggy (without baby) would have resulted in no buggy.

Children really are second class citizens x

MsElleTow · 23/11/2012 19:32

No goralka a pushchair is not a physical access problem! Hmm

Glitterknickaz · 23/11/2012 19:32

Oooh babies. Sooooo disabling.
When they're still in a 'buggy' at seven come and whine, yeah?

Glitterknickaz · 23/11/2012 19:32

En-fucking-titled.
And I hate that word.

goralka · 23/11/2012 19:33

well IME a double buggy WAS on occasion...so ner.

whathasthecatdonenow · 23/11/2012 19:34

Children are second class citizens? I think my laughing might be ringing hollow.

Sirzy · 23/11/2012 19:34

If children are treated "second class" citizens in your view, what does that make disabled people? It is much easier for a child to use the toilets when out than a disabled person.

MsElleTow · 23/11/2012 19:35

Oh, yes of course it was you poor love! My wheelchair is nothing in comparison!Hmm

goralka · 23/11/2012 19:37

well yes it was...not often, but on occasion as I said.
with no wish to diss your wheelchair problems, which I cannot really imagine.

goralka · 23/11/2012 19:38

besides I would hardly have shoved you out of the way with my double buggy!
chill!

SauvignonBlanche · 23/11/2012 19:39

YABU OP.
Your 9 weel old baby is not superglued to their buggy. Having a baby is occasionally inconvenient but it is not a disability.
Presumably you have 2 arms? If not you do, of course, have a disability so knock yourself out.

Thankyou HelenMumsnet for your timely intervention, much appreciated.

Molehillmountain · 23/11/2012 19:40

Can I ask a question? Since children I find I have very little time between urge to go and going. Not diagnosed faecal incontinence, not that bad but bad enough that a long queue is a real worry. Would it be okay to use the disabled loo, not when there's no queue obviously? I'm very ready to be told no but I would really like to know.

Cahooots · 23/11/2012 19:40

I think it is ok. I would check around to see if anyone else needed it and I would be as fast as possible.

Glitterknickaz · 23/11/2012 19:42

If you have to change your behaviours because of something it's disabling you, so yes you should use it.

EasilyBored · 23/11/2012 19:45

I wouldn't generally use the disabled toilet, unless they had put the baby changing in there (which is a stupid thing to do really), except at our local city centre shopping mall. They have these great family toilets. That have been designed so ducking stupidly that you can't get a buggy in and also close the door. The staff wave you into the disabled toilets if you have a pram.

I know the world isn't full of baby snatchers, but I just couldn't leave him outside the cubicle.

GothAnneGeddes · 23/11/2012 19:48

Children absolutely are second class citizens.

Services for them are frequently poor, if not actually harmful to them (2012 and children in care still get an atrocious deal, abusive restraining techniques that were banned in adult units were used in Young offender's institutions).

Despite the law and various UN treaties say, they are often not permitted a say in their lives.

And yes, poor toilet facilities for them are absolutely part of this. I imagine, that if you asked children, they would toilets that fitted their needs and not at the expense at people with disabilities.

That people with disabilities are treated in a very similar way with regards to service provision and facilities say a lot about who society views as important.

flower11 · 23/11/2012 19:49

Question for those who say should never use the disabled loo, what are you supposed to do if thats the only place with changing facilities. I'm a first time mum dd is 5 weeks old, yesterday in my local shopping centre I went into the ladies loos to change her to find no changing facilities, decided to try coffee shop down the road when I noticed through open door that the loo marked disabled had fold down changing unit, so am I supposed not to use it in case disabled person needs loo.

Sirzy · 23/11/2012 19:51

Flower, read the thread that has been discussed many a time. Its stupid when places put the baby change in the disabled toilets but when somewhere does that then you have no choice to use it to change the nappy, just do it as quickly as you can.

PurpleGentian · 23/11/2012 19:56

If there's no other toilet I can fit the pushchair in, and I really need to go to the toilet, then I'll use the disabled toilet. Although I'd give someone who looked like they had mobility problems, such as a wheelchair user, priority. A few reasons:

  1. No way am I leaving DS alone outside the cubicle while I use the toilet. Yes, baby snatchers are few and far between, but I'm still not going to chance it.

  2. I'm not going to put DS on the floor in the cubicle. That's extremely unhygenic, because he'd have his fingers in everything.

  3. I can't hold DS in my arms, and use the toilet at the same time. The one and only time I tried this, out of sheer desperation, I fell over. Luckily I landed backwards, with DS on top, but I'm not chancing it happening again.

  4. A lot of places combine the disabled toilet and the baby change facility. There's been a number of occasions where I've changed DS's nappy, and then used the toilet afterwards.

  5. My pelvic floor isn't what it was before DS was born, and I can't always hold it in for long enough to get home.

crashdoll · 23/11/2012 20:09

How do you know what a person with mobility problems look like? We don't all use mobility aids every day. Neither do we have it written on our foreheads.

pigletmania · 23/11/2012 20:13

My goodness, if you need to use a disabled toilet and no other is available or suitable than you use it fgs!

pigletmania · 23/11/2012 20:18

No way would I chance my babies life for the sake of a few tuts ad disapproving looks. I usually wattill I get home, but if aim not able to, and there is n other suitable toilet which I can fit m non walking, non standing baby in than I will god dame use the disabled toilet. After all there is a risk that I could ave an accident too, and Tthanks would not be very dignified for me.