To hate 'the wife'?

[cheekybaubles]

AIBU to have a go at DH because he addressed me as 'the wife' to someone else? I mean did I wake up this morning in the 1980's during an episode of Boon or something? Urgh!

OP YANBU, I hate 'the wife' and all the other phrases mentioned on this thread too! I don't think they're a sign of anything sinister necessarily, they just sound dismissive compared to using someone's name. I appreciate that most people are probably using them out of misguided affection though.

Meh, not bothered tbh-there are much worse things to be called....

YANBU, also dislike 'other half'. No actually I'm a whole person!

Does he treat you with respect? If so, then it is just a jokey phrase.

I bloody hate 'the wife' - if DH ever called me it, he would be in hot water. But he knows that, so he doesn't.

'My wife' - totally fine. 'The wife' - this is objectifying a person and NOT ok.

I never use the term 'the husband'. I doubt dh would use the term 'the wife' either, well, not in front of me because he knows the connotations.

Dare I say it but I find that men who use terms like 'the wife' or 'the missus' tend to be of lower social economic standing.

Urgh, "the wife", it sounds like a fixture like "the sink" or "the front door".

I also loathe "the in-laws" when referring to, say, the parents of your girlfriend who you have been with for around 3 months.

PetFox - yes, it feels dismissive to me somehow, as well. I don't think it's really about affection, more masculine bravado.

I think it's quite rude actually, I don't see why a 'joke' needs to undermine someone and reduce them to an object. Aren't jokes supposed to be funny?

How about "the old ball and chain" which is what I sometimes get from DH?

Thankfully said 100% tongue-in-cheek and we both know it's a joke and it's actually a bit endearing.

Just like when I call him "dirty old man" and he says, "hey, I'm not old!!"

I get called his lady to his friends. I'm not sure if I like it but.

I absolutely hate it when people call their boyfriends 'the boy'. It gives me slight rage and I'm quite sure why.

It's not like he's calling you the bitch.

As someone else said, does he treat you with a respect? It's not something I can get het up about really.

It doesn't bother me if DH does it (he doesn't often) but that's because he generally shows me respect and we have a very equal relationship so it isn't indicative of an attitude in general.

I'm pretty sure i've referred to him as 'the bloke' at some point..

I think anyone whose only problem in life is being affectionately called "the wife" is better off than most.

I agree with the posters who think that "the wife" makes you sound like an object. My DH send an email announcing that "the wife" had had a baby boy. It annoyed me, especially since everyone who he sent it to knew me by my name.

'lower social economic standing'

What an outrageously snobby thing to write.

I call Mr my other half. We are not married yet, I feel we are too old for him to be my boyfriend, and fiance sounds wanky. I dislike partner as well but sometimes say that in a formal context.

I oddly don't mind when he refers to me as his girlfriend.

I don't like "the wife" or "the husband", remind me of FIL.

Leave the bastard.

DH calls me this in an ironic way. It amuses me.

Without the irony, he might get debollocked.

charimarascoxo me too! Two of my friends do it and I HATE it.

"I never use the term 'the husband'. I doubt dh would use the term 'the wife' either, well, not in front of me because he knows the connotations.

Dare I say it but I find that men who use terms like 'the wife' or 'the missus' tend to be of lower social economic standing. "

Brilliant, you have an issue with "the wife", but no issue with being incredibly patronising and condescending about an entire group of people!

He's referred to me as "the wife" before now.

I stared at him and said "excuse me? THE wife? I'm not a fucking object. Refer to me as MYwife or by my name."

He hasn't done it in my hearing since.

I have absolutely no feeling about the phrase whatsoever. DH calls me "er indoors" in a jokey way and I don't mind it. In fact, the only time I've ever objected to such a title was when an ex called me "Mar Lady" (say it in a broad Stokey accent). That made me sick in my mouth a bit.

Do you use abusive language and swear at him often SNF?

For balance, I tend to refer to him simply as "Boy" for no reason whatsoever. It's just stuck.

'lower social economic standing'

I was going to enter this on the other thread about pretentious quotes.