It's just not ladylike.

[Mathsdidi]

We had a heated discussion in the staffroom at school today because some teachers seem to think that certain behaviours are worse from girls than they are from boys. This is because girls should be more ladylike.

So AIBU in thinking that there are rules for behaviour that should be followed whoever you are and it makes no difference whether you are a boy or a girl? Why should girls be held to different standards than boys?

YANBU. Sexist claptrap.

Well that's what I thought but there was roughly a 50/50 split between those of us arguing that people were being sexist and those people saying that girls should be more ladylike. I expect all my pupils to be polite and deal with them all as individuals when they get it wrong.

Where the holders of those outdated views latin, embroidery and elocution teachers? One assumes such 1950's views would only be found in an establishment with an equally archaic timetable

How awful!

What behaviour do you mean? They wouldn't think I was ladylike

The things one would consider not ladylike (i'm guessing swearing, farting, burping, being drunk) aren't nice from either gender so they're not 'gentlemanly' either. Works both ways. Equal society and that innit.

The only one I can thing of is sitting legs akimbo. OK in trousers, not in a skirt.

It was burping and farting type behaviour. Not nice whoever does it but they seem to think they would just expect it of boys but not of girls.

These teachers are all young and mostly female. I really couldn't believe that they still think like this.

This si probably going to out me if any of them are reading this. Hi all, it's me!! Pop in and defend your point of view.

Bad behaviour is bad from either sex.

Those young teachers needed better training.

YANBU, good behaviour is good behaviour, gender does not come in to it.

I'm with you OP, manners are manners and the same standards should be applied to both genders.

Ladylike... hahaha! I have a friend who said if she had a little girl (has 1 DS), she wouldn't want her to be a tomboy. Unfortunately she might find that girls can be just as grubby and gross as boys can. Sometimes worse as they might feel like they've got a point to prove. (n.b. I was a tomboy but not of the public swearing/farting/burping variety, more like getting messy and building stuff rather than liking pink glittery crap) If I'm going to be specific, I even dislike the term 'tomboy' implying that it's not natural for girls to get messy etc.

Although, agreeing with other posters that bad behaviour from boys OR girls is undesirable in any case.

manners and behaviour should be the same regardless

slightly different but there are some things that i dont think are "ladylike" and i dont like to see

but that is diferrent to manners etc

thekidsrule what things do think are not "ladylike" and not like to see? Are you happy for boys/men to do them?

I don't like the 'tomboy' term either Error. I think girls should be just as happy to be adventurous and messy as boys are.

Fuck me. Complain. It's attitudes like this within our SCHOOLS and other places of education that really hold girls back.

ladylike is a lot of bollocks. They're young women. Not ladies...which suggests a certain set of behaviour patterns is expected...and those patterns were created in less enlightened times.

I won't let anyone use that word round my daughter.

ha ha i thought i would be asked

tattoos and drinking pints

the odd tattoo dosent make me roll my eyes,but i do disike the pint drinking

cant really say why just do and i guess these really are the typical ones

and yes i dont have a problem with males drinking pints but i also dont like to see them covered in tattos everywhere

im sure ive got more

YANBU.

Seen an advert on faceache for a book called The Curse of the Good Girl.

Not read it but the blurb seems to match your argument. Might put it on my Xmas list.

It's younger, female teachers thinking this? Bloody hell, I despair.

YANBU, but I'm not at all surprised.

Is this the same group of teachers who keep telling girls that boys hit them because they like them, perchance?

MrsCan't I'm not sure that in this particular case the attitude is holding the girls backa t all, I think it would hole the boys back if anything. As in, the 'unladylike' behaviour is bad behaviour and bad manners, so the girls are being taught to behave correctly and the boys are not, so it is the boys who are going to miss out on learning how to behave in polite company. Manners and appropriate behaviour seem to count for a lot in the wider world, so the children who have been taught manners have a wider range of opportunities to chose from. That's my thought process anyway, it might not be entirely accurate though.

tethers I don't believe I've ever heard any teacher in our school tell girls that boys hit them because they like them. We have a very strict policy on physical violence and it is dealt with quickly no matter who is the aggressor and who is the victim.

Very glad to hear that, Mathsdidi!

I wish more schools would adopt that line.

So do I tethers it would have saved dd1 some very unhappy times in her first primary school.

Hi maths!
I drink pints, have a tattoo, have two DDs and I am a teacher!

Anyway, I think any antisocial behaviour is a bit of a shame. However I do always tell boys off just a bit more if they hit a girl...... I say 'you NEVER hit girls' but I don't say the same to boys....(I still tell them off a LOT!)