..to think that if your child wears someone else's jumper home from school, you don't send it back to school dirty and stinking of fag smoke?

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Picked DS1 up from school yesterday, he is in Reception. Jumper on backwards but this is not unusual!

As soon as we got in car I could smell something weird, when we got home I looked at his jumper and realised he had got the wrong one. It smelt horrid, stale cigarette smoke slightly masked by 'Tropical Flowery Meadow' stinky fabric softener.

So I washed and tumbled the jumper ready to take into school this morning.

When I got there I was handed DS1's jumper - stained on the front and reeking of cigarette smoke.

AIBU to think that it could have been washed? It wouldn't have occurred to me to send the one DS brought home back anything other than clean.

I know this is minor, but it has really annoyed me

Good point about the eczema. My ds has eczema and reacts to nearly every washing powder and detergent.

You are right, I would have rewashed it anyway.

I know I am being a bit unreasonable, it was the smoke smell that really bugged me.

And yes I am very pleased that we got it back.

thisis no not you, if it wasn't stinky

I would never wash the jumper in these circumstances. They probably took each others jumper at the end of the day, by the time he was in the car you knew it wasn't your DS's, take it off, straight in the bookbag to go back the next day. I don't feel obliged to wash something that my DS has worn for 10 minutes (unless during that 10 minutes he spilt something on it).

my dd and her friend swapped jumpers inadvertantly. i got hers back on the monday and gave her firneds back. hers had been washed, but i hadnt washed her friends, it looked and smelled clean so i did consider it, but i still was made to feel guilty becuase they washed it
still do in fact.

YANBU - I would feel rude to return a jumper without washing it first.

I have a friend who if you accidentally leave a drink bottle at her house she does not even empty it- let alone wash it and you may not get it back for weeks!!!

I have to say it did not occur to me to wash it.

I thought I was being an outstandingly good citizen just in returning it so quickly!

I'd just expect to swap them back as soon as possible and in the state they arrived in. I wohm f/t and haven't got time to be washing and drying stuff that other kids have lost.

In fact I have today sent DS to school with the second 'wrong top' he has come home with this term, in exactly the same condition it arrived in. When we (hopefully) get the right top back I will wash that straight away rather than expect Ds to wear a top worn by someone else..

Smokers don't realise their stuff smells.

And since you would have wanted to wash out the tropical smelling soap, you're no worse off that it wasn't washed. Even if it had been washed it would smell of smoke having dried in a smoking home.

Yanbu at all op, i would be angry too!

It wouldn't occur to you op that not everyone has a tumble dryer and the weather this week - until today - has been pouring rain, therefore not conclusive to drying a school top.

I would just want my own dc's school uniform back and would wash it myself in my own machine and line dry the item.

I bet the other mum not only smokes...she drinks coca cola for breakfasts and have a big flat screen telly too

FFS, I can't even have coke for breakfast now? (in my defence I don't smoke and my telly is older than I am)

YANBU OP. Yuk.

I would always wash before sending back but then I have a tumble dryer and I do at least 1 load of washing every day so would be no hardship. I wouldn't worry if the other jumper came back unwashed though - I'd just be glad to have it back and as lots of people have pointed out not everyone has a dryer or does do washing every day.
And I agree that if the family are smokers they won't notice the smell. My ex-OH smokes and everytime DS comes back from a weekend there even the clean stuff smells and has to be rewashed. I hate it. And so does DS.

I washed the PE top DD grabbed as well as her own, given it was half term.

Had DD1 worn it I would definitely wash before handing back.

Smoke gets into everything, even if washed. DDad chain smoked I must have stank

YANBU. My parents smoke in the kitchen by the back door and it permeates throughout the house. I hate going round there as it makes me feel physically sick from the smell. No word of a lie, if I was to take something round there and stay for just 5mins, I'd come back home absolutely stinking.

I'd probably wash it, but would also prefer to get my own back promptly rather than washed - 'sorry it took me a term to get it back to you but I wanted to wash it first, and I just never got round to it..........' definitely better to get it back. Lost too many school sweatshirts.

People who smoke can't smell it - well known fact.

When I was a smoker before I had DCs I could smell smoke on others and in houses. I don't know about anyone else but for me that was very much a myth. I always smoked outside or at the very least by an open door, I hated the smell of stale cigarettes.

Personally I don't think yabu at all. Its disgusting, no child should be around smoke and I really do feel sorry for that child If you want to kill yourself then fair enough, your choice but don't kill your children as well. I'd be disgusted.