..to think that if your child wears someone else's jumper home from school, you don't send it back to school dirty and stinking of fag smoke?

[Alibabaandthe40nappies]

Picked DS1 up from school yesterday, he is in Reception. Jumper on backwards but this is not unusual!

As soon as we got in car I could smell something weird, when we got home I looked at his jumper and realised he had got the wrong one. It smelt horrid, stale cigarette smoke slightly masked by 'Tropical Flowery Meadow' stinky fabric softener.

So I washed and tumbled the jumper ready to take into school this morning.

When I got there I was handed DS1's jumper - stained on the front and reeking of cigarette smoke.

AIBU to think that it could have been washed? It wouldn't have occurred to me to send the one DS brought home back anything other than clean.

I know this is minor, but it has really annoyed me

maybe they washed it in the same way you did, but because their house smells of smoke it absorbed it?

I get this from my mum - she sends a bag of clothes reeeeking of fag smoke and she insists they've all been laundered, which they have, but they absorb the smoke smell.

I'd wash it and give it back. I assume though that the family doesn't smell the 'smell' of their house as it is normal to them? Even if stinky to us.

ah, just seen the stain part.

Maybe the stain was already on there when the other child took it home?

I don't think it's a big deal really. It may have been more courteous to wash it before handing it back over but the other mum was under no obligation to do so.

Plus,if the other mum smokes she probably didn't realise the jumper smelt of cigarettes.

At least you got it back the day after, maybe the family who had your jumper don't have a dryer, maybe they didn't have time to wash it. Their fabric softener clearly isn't good enough for you anyway.

I would wash it, but you might not get it back the next day as i'd need to dry it first. (Don't have a dryer.)

I'd just be glad to get it back. Is it really stained, or just in need of a wash?

I wouldn't wash someone else's jumper, no. I'd just take it back to school the next day. I don't have a tumbler, for a start, so I'd be taking it in wet. And the chances of a washing going on at that time of the afternoon are slim - did you put a whole wash on just to wash someone else's cigaretty jumper?

I'd be more pissed off if you'd shrunk it!

It would be annoying, but at least you got it back, DS has lost one & never been returned (was named too).

I am not sure, I wash school clothes before returning them but the turnaround for that is longer than one day.

If I noticed ds had the wrong jumper, it could be at pick up, when I empty the wash basket (usually Friday is school jumper wash) or the next morning. If it was the latter I would consider giving it back unwashed just so the mum had it back ASAP and wasn't waiting for me to wash and dry it. I would rather have it back promptly than back laundered.

no, you got the jumper back. i think it was too much to ask theother family to wash it, perhaps they dont wash so religiously. in fact i think it might be construed as cheeky, and an infringement. just give backthe correct jumper.

No Wilson, it went in with other uniform, gym kit and a load of underwear.

I don't know if it is really stained, I will let you know when it comes out of the washing machine!

honey my DSs have eczema so we can't use anything with fragrance, so any fabric softener smells really strong and vile to me.

Perhaps IABU due to the potential lack of dryer, I hadn't thought of that.

I'd wash it and send it back, I'm with you OP!

i dont tumble dry school jumpers.

As has been said, perhaps she didn't have a tumbler or maybe they didn't notice it was your son's jumper until the next morning.

I bet the other mum not only smokes...she drinks coca cola for breakfasts and have a big flat screen telly too

Plus you don't know who stained it, maybe it was your son.

I'd only wash it if I was doing a wash that day. Otherwise, I'd just fold it up and pass it back. I think it's more important to get it back quickly, than it is to wash it.

But, it wouldn't reek of smoke. Not sure what I'd do if dirty, I might wash or I might not.

BTW, I have to wash EVERYTHING after visiting the in-laws, as MIL smokes (not in same room, but in the house). I wash the clean clothes, as they stink, the changing bag stinks, it gets everywhere. So I understand the grimness.

If they are smokers they probably don't notice the cigerette smoke. Maybe they didn't wash it because it wouldn't have been dry on time to give back today. Not everyone has tumble dryers. I would never tumble dry a jumper anyway because of the risk of shrinking it.

"honey my DSs have eczema so we can't use anything with fragrance, so any fabric softener smells really strong and vile to me. "

In which case, it's a good job they didn't go to the bother of washing it in their run of the mill detergents. You'd have only had to wash it again, so really you're no worse off than if they had washed it.

YABU If the jumper was dirty from the day (food, paint etc.) I would have washed it otherwise no, as i don't wash school jumpers every day.

I doubt the other family realise the clothes smell of smoke as they are obviously smokers, so that wouldn't make it a reason (for them) to wash your jumper. People have different levels of what is acceptably clean though (as the 4y.o bathing thread shows)- maybe they felt it was clean enough; or maybe they have a very busy family life and no time to wash on an evening or didn't notice?.

I would have sent my child to school in one of their own jumpers and the other child's in a bag to return, and would probably prefer to wash the jumper from the day before myself anyway. by the sounds of your post you probably would have rewashed it anyway!

I sent back one in today unwashed! It wasn't me was it?

It did not smell of smoke or have a stain (in my defence)

I'd only wash it if I could get it dry for the next day. Surely as your DS has eczema, even if they'd washed it, you'd have to rewash it anyway, in case they'd used something he would react to?

DD once came home with the wrong jumper - it was labelled so I politely asked the other parent if her DS might have DD's? She said she would have a look at home. The next day her child did indeed bring the jumper back ... by wearing it (he took it off when he saw DD, she looked slightly bemused).