Quiet carriage - please tell me this woman broke the rules, not me

[Xiaoxiong]

Tonight I am raging - I rushed to Waterloo to catch my train home as DS is ill, so I was on the phone telling DH when I would be back and to give him dioralyte until I could get back to breastfeed. As I stepped into the carriage before it had left the station, I was literally saying "ok, so I'll get into [end of line] in an hour, and home by 8.30pm - right, see you, bye, bye now".

As I was saying "see you, bye", literally less than 3 seconds after I stepped onto the train, a woman stood up from two rows away, walked a few steps towards me pointing at the little blue sign on the window and said loudly and officiously, "EXCUSE ME. THIS IS A QUIET CARRIAGE."

I was so I said to DH "sorry one sec, someone is saying something to me" and looked at her. She said again slowly and loudly "QUIET. CARRIAGE." and jabbed her finger towards the window, then sat down with a huge huff.

Yes I was on the phone as I stepped into the sacred silence of the quiet carriage. But the train was not yet moving and I was clearly ringing off.

AIBU or has she has broken the Commuting Rules? DH says I am in the wrong as I was on the phone in the quiet carriage but he doesn't commute so he doesn't know the Rules.

I don't think you were in the wrong. You were clearly ending the conversation. Don't worry about it!

So long as you didn't retort 'Not now I'm on board, love!' & blow a party blower in her face, she was being an officious twonk.

It's a Quiet Carriage, not Trappist Monks Only.

YANBU. No-one can get settled on a train in silence.

Difficult to say. Perhaps she was warning you not to use your phone again?

Glad I don't commute quite frankly, then I'm free to listen to whatever music etc I want.

What rules has she broken exactly?

Clearly her problem, not yours... she probably had a bad day. Hope DS is better now .

@ Raven!

Maybe you seemed like the sort of person who was planning on continuing their loud conversation and she was really quite fed up of people talking in the quiet carriage and wanted to give you the opportunity to move to another carriage before you got settled.

YABU to talk about "the rules" - if there are rules it's you who broke them If there are only guidelines rather than rules then you are equally in the wrong - you for being on the phone in a quiet coach (even if it was at a station) and her for being aggressive in the way she pointed out the nature of the coach to you.

Grumpy cow.

Hope your ds is feeling better. Nothing worse than a squarty child

Phew - I am glad IANBU.

Trills my understanding of the Rules is that there have to be truly extenuating circumstances before you are permitted to speak to another passenger while commuting. You may, for instance, when your train is cancelled look at the person standing next to you who has been getting on your same carriage for 20 years and raise your eyebrows and perhaps mutter "typical!"

You are permitted to say three phrases: sorry, excuse me, and would you like to sit down.

You are sometimes allowed to stand at the door of a packed carriage and bleat plaintively "can you move down please..." but if you direct it at a particular person blocking the aisle that is rule breaking.

What sort of train was it? If it's the type with carriages with a sort of vestibule, then you clearly infringed the Quiet Carriage Norm, because you could have finished your conversation in the vestibule. If it's the type where you step straight into the carriage, then you can be forgiven.
The other thing to bear in mind is that plenty of people say "see you, bye" and then spend another ten minutes blathering on, so she wasn't to know that you weren't one of those people.
Either way, I wouldn't bother to rage any further about it. I expect the woman who told you off had had a really vile day and you making a racket in the quiet carriage was probably the last straw.

I don't think YWBU, and I think the woman was rude, but ideally you should have waited to go into the quiet carriage until after you had gotten off the phone. You could have gone into a different carriage first.

Even though you were ending the conversation, you probably did disturb her if she was on the train before you.

Some people on MN seem to think a little talking is ok on quiet carriages. I'm not one of them.

Blue it was the type where you step straight into the carriage. The train was at the station at the beginning of the line so I made my call as I walked along the platform next to the train which was not yet in service, then was ringing off as I stepped onto the train.

I am not raging any more, usually I wouldn't let this bother me but I was and continue to be worried about DS who is so pale and listless and sad

She should have given me a grace period to wind up the call though.

Poor little DS. I hope a good breastfeed cheered him up a little bit. We should all cut each other a bit more slack, shouldn't we? "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a hard battle".

Seeing as you had clearly completed your call, why not just say ""Thanks, did not see that" and move on with grace?

Did you really have to make a big point, STAY on the phone saying ""sorry one sec, someone is saying something to me" AFTER having said bye?

Why did your husband need to know that? Why? Did you think the other person was giving a message for you to relay to your husband?
Could you not just hang up and let him get one with looking after sick baby?

Yabu for that.

Most bizarre.

oh get over it
you were slightly wrong
she sounds a nutter

As a matter of interest, is the tea/coffee trolley allowed in the quiet carriage?

If so, does the steward have to mime?

YANBU. I've had this (Chiltern Line?).

Got on the train, took an urgent work call (and it was urgent), had some old bat telling me off. Would have been ok except for all the iPod hissers lounging around making a NOISE.

NotQuint hard to explain - I was honestly shocked. I've been commuting to the City for six years and no one has ever said anything to me except sorry/excuse me or to tell me the train was cancelled, which is what I thought she was saying which would have had relevance to my DH.

I'm being somewhat facetious but truly I have never had anyone say anything else to me on the commute.

Rather amusingly, my boss takes my same train in the morning, getting on a few stations after me. We sit approx 4 feet away from each other all day - he hired me, and is as good a friend as your boss can be. When I told him I had seen him on the platform, he told me that he always sits in the 4th carriage from the front so we wouldn't run into each other on the train and he wouldn't speak to me if he saw me.

You should have pointed to the sign yourself and then shushed her

tiger yes, and what about the pen clickers, the toe tappers, the gum chewers, the wrapper rustlers, the iPods playing what sounds like machine gun fire... I can see you are a kindred spirit.

Glit I'm over it

Gotta love your boss. The British have a very strong commitment to NOT talk on the train.

Ooh yes and what about the bloke ( wearing a reasonable suit) on the train last night who burped his way through an hours journey and picked his fucking teeth and slimed the residue down his trousers. He was reasonably hot if you looked at him but viler than vile. And I love that iPad has trapapers (what?) instead of trousers

Ooh yes and what about the bloke ( wearing a reasonable suit) on the train last night who burped his way through an hours journey and picked his fucking teeth and slimed the residue down his trousers. He was reasonably hot if you looked at him but viler than vile. And I love that iPad has trapapers (what?) instead of trousers