Quiet carriage - please tell me this woman broke the rules, not me

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Tonight I am raging - I rushed to Waterloo to catch my train home as DS is ill, so I was on the phone telling DH when I would be back and to give him dioralyte until I could get back to breastfeed. As I stepped into the carriage before it had left the station, I was literally saying "ok, so I'll get into [end of line] in an hour, and home by 8.30pm - right, see you, bye, bye now".

As I was saying "see you, bye", literally less than 3 seconds after I stepped onto the train, a woman stood up from two rows away, walked a few steps towards me pointing at the little blue sign on the window and said loudly and officiously, "EXCUSE ME. THIS IS A QUIET CARRIAGE."

I was so I said to DH "sorry one sec, someone is saying something to me" and looked at her. She said again slowly and loudly "QUIET. CARRIAGE." and jabbed her finger towards the window, then sat down with a huge huff.

Yes I was on the phone as I stepped into the sacred silence of the quiet carriage. But the train was not yet moving and I was clearly ringing off.

AIBU or has she has broken the Commuting Rules? DH says I am in the wrong as I was on the phone in the quiet carriage but he doesn't commute so he doesn't know the Rules.

Ah Woozley but when you have people crushed on all sides there is no need to hold onto anything, they will support you with their bodies...

oh god, i used to commute every day, brentford-vauxhall for 3 years - i would doze off sitting in relative space, then open my eyes after putney and have someones arse milimetres from my face and all the windows would be steamed up. I would have to keep my eyes closed and ipod on to try and pretend i was somewhere else to stave off claustrophobia.

I also commuted selhurst-victoria for 4 years and i have never seen anyone apart from me silintly scowlingly pay any attention to the quiet carriage.

That's true, in extreme crushing circumstances I have just had to let go and be a human sardine. I do not miss commuting into London.

AIBU or has she has broken the Commuting Rules? DH says I am in the wrong as I was on the phone in the quiet carriage but he doesn't commute so he doesn't know the Rules.

Basically, you were in the wrong, and your response was rude and sarcastic. You should have stayed in the vestibule until you had finished your call.

Maybe the reason that the other passenger seemed so testy is that those of us who choose deliberately to sit in the Quiet Carriage so it is QUIET and we can get work done, deal with our headache, read, enjoy the quiet ...

Well, speaking for myself, I get sick and tired of selfish idiots who don't read the sign, ignore it, or think it doesn't apply to them. So on occasion, I might jump the gun about reminding a passenger it's the Quiet Zone, as you felt this other passenger did in your case. Because I get so sick & tired of people ignoring the Quit Zone notice. And I also get sick and tired of people treating me as though I'm the rude one when I ask them to be quiet in the Quiet Carriage.

Basically, I think you have to suck it up.

But as an afterthought -- I'm intrigued: you seem to think that train regulations apply only when the train is moving. Your OP suggests that while the train was standing at the platform, the conditions of the Quiet Zone didn't apply. I've encountered this odd belief before, when smoking was allowed in some carriages: I was in a Non-Smoking carriage while it was standing at the platform, and a woman lit up. I told her it was a Non-Smoking carriage, but she said "The train isn't moving" WTF? I then said I would get the train guard, and she moved out of the carriage sharpish.

I try to follow regulations & have regard for my fellow human beings. I'm constantly gob-smacked at others' rudeness.

none of my commuter trains (inc MK-euston) has had a vestibule. where are these magic vestibuled trains?

Mine is the London-Edinburgh one, spuddy.

It is indeed magic.

Most people do pay attention to the quiet carriage and there is a lovely warming sense of curmudgeonly cameraderie when someone has to be told please to stop using their phone.

(Yes, my life is an arid waste, why do you ask? )

You know what pisses me off more is people listening to music in headphones, which they think is inaudible but is actually just at that volume where you can hear the whole tinny beat of it but nothing more.

I ask them to turn it down, if I'm in the Quiet Coach.

I do a long distance commute (6 hours each way) about twice a day. I need that time to work in, so I book into the Quiet Coach deliberately. I have no sympathy for selfish people passengers who think that regulations don't apply to them.

I was once in a Quiet Carriage where someone steamed in on their phone, and actually bellowed, 'No, I've just moved into the Quiet Carriage, it's quieter in here, I can hear you better.... yeah, go on, what were you saying?'

I am a Quiet Carriage policeman in my head

I meant long distance commute twice a week ... grrrr more coffee!

I was once in a Quiet Carriage where someone steamed in on their phone, and actually bellowed, 'No, I've just moved into the Quiet Carriage, it's quieter in here, I can hear you better.... yeah, go on, what were you saying?'

I think justifiable homicide would have been in order

i would have liked to see someone ask the 'yoots' at Thornton Heath to be quiet on the quiet carriage. In fact asking someone not to piss in the corner would have probably got you cut.

Once after major knee surgery (i had a full leg brace and crutches) some teens knocked me over while running thru the carriage - not on purpose - then when i told them off one stamped on my leg. They slapped my husband and threatened to have us killed ('don't you know who i am' erm, some 14 year dick who thinks he's a bad man?) when he came to my aid and a poor french man who tried to intervene got a punch in the face for his samaritanliness - bet he wont do that again!

Oh dear. Sorry, collie, I found that very funny but I can imagine it was a little annoying at the time.

spuddy - fuck! That's terrifying.

it's okay, i'm used to it, a nice middle class woman smashed up my car and threatened to have me killed in Osterly Tescos once, when i told her to stop stealing the sunday supplements on the garage forecourt. I really do bring out the best in people.

Those were the 2 and only times i have ever tried to reprimand anyone. i wont be doing it again. So sad.

Crikey.

Quiet does not mean silent.

YANBU.

You should have punched her in the schnozzle.

You can't even talk in the quiet carriage??? I would be fucked.

I would be fucked

You can't do that either Alien

CollieDog Will you marry me (or at least accompany me on all my train journeys)?

I have never even herd of a quiet carriage, I don't think they have them on the trains I go on. Not that I go on a train very often.

I don't think you were BU if you were finishing the call. I think I would have just ignored her, she sounds a right miserable one.

Where's when you need him.

You were in the wrong, then you were sarky to her.

There's only one rule in the quiet carriage: all devices switched to silent, and phone conversations to be taken elsewhere.

Maybe that's two rules. But still, hardly difficult to grasp.

I love your definition of The Rules, op. You seem to have conveniently forgotten the one which bans mobiles from quiet carriages?

hortense now THAT is totally U.

spuddy I think this is where The Rules of No Interaction come from - because there are some scary people out there.

Collie no vestibule on SWT. I accept that to follow the letter of the law I would have had to finish my call outside the carriage in the rain (and then I could have sat next to her soaking wet, bet she would have loved that). But her response was totally disproportionate and broke the "no speaking to others" rule.

I think the rules might be slightly different on any trains that are longer than an hour where maybe you can expect quiet and to be able to get some work done. The trains I'm on are so crushed you are lucky if you can do anything more than check your blackberry.

All you had to do was say 'oh, right' and hang up.

Nobody is accusing you of grand felony.