to still wash my 4 year old?

[Flossypotts]

As opposed to washing herself?

She has a bath or shower before bed every night and I still do all the washing. Someone said it's about time she washed herself, especially her "privates". I don't think she'd be capable of washing her vulva etc properly herself yet. AIBU?

I still wash DS, he's nearly 5. He is more interested in playing with his boats than personal hygiene

I just stick mine in the bath and leave the soapy water do it's work - they are in there for at least half an hour.

I wash their hair and that's it and always has been.

Perhaps I have a particularly grubby little girl then! She often gets red 'down there' and has a little build-up of discharge near the labia minora (I didn't know what that was called until I had a child! ) so it needs a good washing with soap-free wash.

Do lots of other children wash themselves by this age?

My DD1 will be 4yo in February.

She baths once or twice week, but I don't touch her vagina or bottom anymore. I just let the bath water do the work.

That said, if she's itchy or sore, I'll cream her intimate areas.

I do the same as izzy although I might give her a flannel and encourage her to have a quick scrub. I've never really washed her unless there's something obvious to wash off.

I would expect a four year old of either sex to be washed everywhere by parent/carer, they would just mess about otherwise.I think that by 6 they should do everything except hair themselves.

As far as I know, OP, my DD doesn't wash her bits. She shows no interest.

She did wonder what her clitoris was about 8 months ago. I told her that it was her 'pip'; a special part that makes her a girl and that she should leave it alone and not let anyone touch it.

I have never washed mine. Only their hair. In the shower I tell them to wash their skin with the shower gel.

My 4 and 5 year olds play in a bubble bath for half an hour at a time and wash themselves (random swiping with sponges whilst I call out parts of the body). The eldest "washes" her own hair but I rinse it.
Flossypotts were you advised to wash your DD or is it possible that the washing could be irritating the area?

I wasn't advised to wash her, HRH008, but she's be stinky if I didn't! I just wash her in a gentle, soap-free baby wash, so it shouldn't be an irritant. Perhaps it is though.

My DD helped with washing from about 3 but was 6 before she was fully bothered to do it. That said, I still wash her hair for her as it is really long and thick and she can't get shampoo/conditioner out properly. She is 8.5.

To be honest I wouldn't be scrubbing too much down there, a mild bubble bath will clean her.

Redness may be due to her not wiping enough after a wee and getting a bit sore.

A bit of discharge is ok as long as it is clear and doesn't smell.

Molotov there is nothing wrong with her touching her own clitoris.

I told DD it was private and if she wanted to touch it it was for her room when she is alone.

Young children need to be supervised in the bath for safety as well as hygene.

I have to admit that I never washed dd privates. Generally I have have just let her soak in a nice warm bubbly bath for twenty minutes and then dried her off afterwards. I wash her face, hands, hair and teeth other wise they would never get done. At three and half she is attempting to wash herself, but I make sure she is clean.

My 4 year old plays in the bath every other night, I will give her little body a wash but she is so ticklish I have to be quick!

I don't touch her private parts I just let the water and bubbles do their thing.

I would have thought washing too much in that area would do more harm than good.

We still wash the girls in just water, sometimes with a bit of bubble bath. Their hair does get shampooed so there is some soap in there. DD2 has fairly sensitive skin so we try and avoid soaps and detergents. There's not a lot of scrubbing unless there has been a major body painting session going on! I wouldn't be poking about between their legs, just water is the best thing for keeping the vulva clean.

I have had some issues in the vagina area and was told by my specialist not to use anything down there or in my bath. Obviously my problems were quite bad but i don't think washing a girl down there with soaps a good idea.

Soaking in the bath usually does the trick in my view too, but I agree with you OP that I wouldn't expect a 4yo to properly wash all the bits that need extra attention themselves.

But I do wonder whether it is better or worse to be washing inflamed bits so thoroughly - I think this is one of those things where advice has changed over the years, e.g. it used to be thought that very frequent baths were good for exczema and dry skin, and now it's felt to be better to not bathe so much (I think?) Is there any known reason why your dd gets this discharge? If not then I would consider talking to a doctor about it to see what they would recommend. Don't mean to sound harsh, but if you keep washing the area thoroughly yet it doesn't get any better, then maybe that's not the best course of action and it would be worth taking a different tack.

I bath my LO in organic porridge water due to eczema twice a week and never washed their private area!

I still wash DS and he is almost 6, I have considered before that sitting in the soapy water would get him clean enough but always felt slightly neglectful by not washing him. I think after reading this thread though I'll save myself a job and let the soapy water clean him now and just do his hair and face.

Another thought - because it happened to my daughter when she was younger - does she drink orange juice from concentrate? This used to have the same effect....she got very sore....

dd1 is 5.8
she mans the soap and flannel, but i oversee that she's doing a decent enough job.

I still wash my DD, she is six, we use the bidet for daily washing down there, twice a week when she has a bath I just let the water do the job.
At school she wipes, but at home I help her wash after number two, as I do too, plain warm water and no soap.
OP I would still help her wash, but perhaps skip the bubbles or anything really irritating,
Does she wears underwear at night?

I also would suspect washing a little girls vulva with even a soap free wash may irritate it, and cause the problem you are trying to wash away,
Have a try of just letting her bits soak in the water, and see if that settles ?
I let my 5 yr old wash herself and i just chivvy her along to get it done, if she needs cream on her bits, i let her do it, and say they are your private bits, and its fine for you to touch that area, but not for other people,