To be pissed off at SIL? Baby name related

[strawberrypenguin]

My SIL had her DS a couple of weeks ago. He was nameless until yesterday. SIL and BIL had been making comments over the last couple of weeks as to how they couldn't use certain names because they would sound silly with my DS's name when they were said together (my DS is just over a year old)
They announced a name yesterday and its my DS's middle name! Now I know logically that no one 'owns' a name but I'm rather pissed off by this AIBU? I should also say that I do have some SIL issues (shes hardly spoken to me since she found out I was pg a couple of years ago although she does still see DH and DS) so not sure if this is colouring my opinion on this.

YABU

Why is it a problem?

I really don't get it.

I would have said YANBU if they'd used his actual names, but middle names are redundant so YABU.

YABU (sorry). First name - off limits for cousins. Middle names - up for grabs.

I really don't get this issue.

We have a family name - it's the Scottish clan we came from and we all have it as our middle name.

My BIL family always name the eldest son the same name. My DS decided that she preferred it the other way round. So my DNephew has the same forename as all of his family's middle name.

No big deal at all.

Personally I'd see it as flattering. YABU

Friends of mine gave their ds2 the same name they used as their ds1's middle name, it makes no difference to them as middle names are not used. YABU. and with respect to there being loads of names out there, yes that is true but you either like a name or you don't, we have 2 ds and when I was pregnant with dd (as she turned out to be but we didn't know the sex until birth), we really struggled to find a boys name we both liked, despite there being so many possibilities.

I think ynbu to think its odd, but what can you do? I wouldn't pick a name that was already on the family, first or second but she has so you can either suck it up or have a word.i think you need to decide if it is something you are prepared to fall out over.

I'm with DeWe. Why did they want a name that went with your son's name? That's bizarre!

Hmm... I feel there's more to this than the name issue

That aside, I think YABU. For the purposes of this post my name is Amelia Jane. My Aunt is Jane Amelia. My Grandmother was Susan Amelia and my neice is Lauren Amelia. We all love the fact that we are part of generations of our family history with Amelia as part of our names. All part of a little club, if you like.

I bet the rest of your family are rolling their eyes and thinking 'for heavan's sake who cares !'

Yah middle names are kind of pointless

Yes YABU. My sister's name is also my cousin's middle name (cousin is 10 years older). How is it anything but a compliment on naming style? To boot, two of my other cousins have the male/female equivalents of the same name, just one letter difference (it's also my grandmother's name). I love that we have 'family names'.

von apart from To DH who is also a bit about it I haven't actually said it pisses me off to any family as I don't want to upset my PIL. ( and you're right there are other issues here which I think could be clouding this for me)

I don't think names passed through generations are quite the same thing tbh (and the children are so close in age) but I will accept that IABU

Yabu.
My youngest DS has my eldest DS middle name.. so we've got a Matthew James and James David.
We couldn't think of any boys names when James was born (None of the other names I wanted 'went' with my yucky surname!) and when I was holding him I thought James suited him.
No reason why the baby can't have your DS middle name.

My ex has recently decided he might want children with his girlfriend. They want to use our (as in mine and exes) DS's name as part of any new child's name.

So effectively my ex would have two children with practically the same name.

Now that is fucking odd.

Yours not so much. I'm so glad I didn't start a thread about my issues!

Think you're being a bit ridiculous OP. My cousin's name is my middle name...I was born first, named first with Charlotte as my middle name, then my cousin came along and my aunt named her Charlotte. My mum didn't get into a tizz when her sister did this - it just shows similar taste, surely?

The only member of my family (cousins, nephews, nieces) middle name that I actually know is the cousin whose first name is the same as mine as we were referred to all through childhood as (eg) Mary Ann and Mary Sarah. Mum and Aunt were pregnant at the same time and Uncle decided that they were having the name my parents had chosen for me and that another name would have to be found for me. As my DM pointed out no-one owns a name and you should just choose what you're happy with.

YANBU to have a moment's pause and regret but YABU to be pissed off.

Is it a family name on either side?

Try and see it as a compliment.

Why does it matter to you that someone else you know has used a name you choice as a middle name?

YABU

I think YABU - but because you don't like her you are taking this the wrong way, if you liked her, you'd think it was a compliment, and see it as a link between the boys.

You also can't assume it wasn't BIL's choice.

And remember, if you aren't close to BIL and SIL, the two boys, while being cousins, probably won't spend that much time together.

Yanbu. One thing that irritates me is copycats. I know I sound about five but that bug bearer has never left me..

The middle name, no worries. If they'd used his first name I'd think that was really thoughtless to the set of grandparents who'd have two grandchildren with the same or similar names.

I wouldn't say you're be unreasonable to MIND but at the same time, it's not a big deal.

bondigidum did you invent brand new never used before names for your DCs? or did you infact COPY names that you had heard of other people using before

I can't stand people who think they invented everything they do! (unless they really are mad scientists who did )

Reindeerbollix, that is ridiculous isn't it? Really disrespectful to the first child. Like, here we go again and do you mind if I re-use your name????/ I'm going to be a better father this time round. I can't remember which came first but i read in Hello at the hairdresser that one of those dragons (from dragons den) has an annabel with his first wife and an Isabel with his second wife. I thought geeeez ffs!

Mine don't have middle names (never saw the point tbh) so on that basis I think yabu because I don't think middle names are that important.

Also on house series 8 very funny, taub got some one night stand pregnant and she had a baby and called it sophie. and then his wife had a baby and they were split up and she called it sophia. he had no say anyway and he didn't really want to say what his ONS had called her baby. So he said nothing, and ended up with two babies roughly the same age called sophie and sophia. then his xw and her new partner dropped off the baby one day and said, we've decided to call her sophie! so funny.

but that's not real life! and there I was thinking it couldn't happen in real life. hmm!