Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

bloody neighbour. Long and trivial. Come flame me!

83 replies

Naysa · 19/11/2012 11:48

Trying not to drip feed. We have a really annoying next door neighbour, she's kind but just so irritating. Not compared to other people's horrible neighbours, but still annoying.

She borrows our things and takes ages giving it back. She uses her kids to sort of guilt us into lending her things, like "oh can we borrow a tin opener, we don't have one and we don't have anything in for the girls to eat." or "can I borrow your hoover, the girls' room needs doing and they can't play in it until it's tidy" Hoover was gone for two weeks, not much of a problem as we mostly just use a brush because the hoover's a bit crap but even after we asked it took a week.

Her house produces a lot of waste, when they moved in they stole our bin acquired a new bin. They manage to fill both of them. One week she asked if she could put a bin bag in our bin on collection day. She put in two and the bin men complained saying if it happens again then they have the right to refuse to empty it because the lid wouldn't shut.

This neighbour always complains about how tight money is, her kids go to a school a short distance away. My mum asked her if she finds it difficult getting there and if she needs a hand with her shopping and she said no, she just hates walking. Every day she knocks at our house to use our phone to ring a taxi. Fair enough, your choice, just stop telling me how poor you are when I can't even afford to get a bus a day. She then gets a cab back, cab to town, cab back with shopping. It adds up.

She also has parcels delivered EVERYDAY. I'm not even exaggerating, she is a SAHM and I know her DP's job and I can't fathom why they'd need so many. Non of my business, but she's never bloody in! We said we could accept them, but we didn't realise the frequency and size of the parcels and I'd feel crappy going back on my word.

Now this is where I'm getting pissed off. (Bravo if you've read this far)
I'm sat in my house on mumsnet with the dog. I don't have anything that needs doing. My hair is a mess I think. I haven't actually braved the mirror yet and I'm in my sister's dressing gown which is an age 14-15 dressing gown, covered in stars.
I hear a knock at the door. I get up and it's a parcel delivery for next door. I sign for it and resume my important mumsnetting business.
Then another knock, another parcel. This one's bigger, it's heavy and fragile. It's windy and I've lost my dignity whilst signing. I can barely lift it but the guy lets my struggle. Oh well.
Then another knock at the door. I ignore it. He comes to the window and we make eye contact. He sees me in all my slovenly glory. So I get up. I answer the door.
"Hiya, I rang your neighbour because she's not in and she said just give the parcel to next door, can you take it in?" I tell him I don't have much room left, he says he'd really appreciate it otherwise they'd have to rearrange delivery. So I agree, he goes to the monster truck and pulls out a massive heavy parcel which is now blocking the hall.

Aibu to drag them all to her garden and set them on fire? I've got nothing better to do other than seethe over parcels. I know I'm going to told to mind my own business, but when they're knocking at your house and getting parcels delivered then I think it is my business!

OP posts:
avivabeaver · 19/11/2012 11:53

tell them they cannot have parcels delivered to you.

tell them they can't use your phone.

if you lend them something, go get it back.

get a better dressing gown

hth

TennisFan42 · 19/11/2012 11:54

Taking in the occasional parcel for her would be reasonable but using you as her own delivery service is not (unless she had asked you nicely and you had agreed). Forget to mention to her that these parcels have arrived and let her wait a few days to have them. Then be unavailable to take responsibility for any future parcels that get delivered to your house instead of hers.
But don't let this piss you off all day as the only person losing out is you.

Feckbox · 19/11/2012 11:54

You will find it the same delivery companies /drivers. Tell them you are not prepared to accept any more parcels. Your neighbour is taking the piss.

cumfy · 19/11/2012 11:56

Perhaps it's her new hoover ? Hmm

Nightmare. So they can afford parcels but not 50p tin-opener. That makes sense.Grin

SugaricePlumFairy · 19/11/2012 11:57

I would say don't lend her the Hoover or anything you might need on a daily basis!

Tell her you're fed up of receiving her parcels and won't be doing it anymore.

Stop being a walkover , she's taking the piss!

BurningBridges · 19/11/2012 11:57

I think avivabeaver said what everyone else is going to say, only quicker and more clearly. You have to say no. No more parcels, ever. No more calls unless 999, no more lending.

And can you put a dressing gown on your Christmas list? Wink

NothingIsAsBadAsItSeems · 19/11/2012 11:57
  • Tell neighbor that unfortunately you are unable to take in parcels any more
  • If she can afford a taxi everywhere she can afford a mobile/landline/tin opener ect. so doesn't need to use your phone.
  • Who doesn't own a tin opener or hoover?? Sorry but we need XYZ basic household item...
  • No, sorry there is no space left in our bin

Simply saying no could solve most of your problems

MousyMouse · 19/11/2012 11:58

just don't accept any parcels.

I don't sign anything from neighbours, unless it is an exception and they kindly asked me before (they are nice neighbours anyway).
my parent once got into trouble signing something for a neighbour which turned out to be legal documents...

nancerama · 19/11/2012 11:59

OP, you sound like a lovely, kind, thoughtful person. The opposite of your neighbour, who is taking advantage of your good nature. Time to start telling her things aren't convenient, I'm afraid.

Sorry, that doesn't work for me. Needs to be your mantra.

which is easy for me to say, as I'm the queen of wimping out

McTagster · 19/11/2012 12:01

She sounds like a royal pain in the ass! I can't believe she's had your Hoover for two weeks!
Stop lending her things, stop letting her use your phone on a daily (daily?!) basis, and stop taking in parcels. Just politely refuse.
She is taking advantage of your kind nature and people like that don't stop, they just get worse.
What a cheeky bugger!

Icanhasnickname · 19/11/2012 12:01

You have become her P.A. An unpaid, un-appreciated P.A.

Also, get nets, thick nets that mean you can hide in your house with more sucess. And maybe start opening the parcels, then pretend you thought they were yours. She will soon stop trusting you, and therefore will stop using you.

Naysa · 19/11/2012 12:01

aviva I have one, it's in the wash, I should be able to wear something ridiculous in my own house.

When we knock at the door she doesn't answer, even though we know they're in. They've had some problems with money and now don't answer the door to anyone. It's a bloody joke!

Tennisfan She did ask nicely and I did agree, but only because I didn't know how many parcels she gets! If I had have known I would have told her no!

I might upload a pic so you can tell me I'm NBU! Grin

OP posts:
BabeRuthless · 19/11/2012 12:03

Do you think she's doing something Avon-esque, hence all the parcels? I agree she is royally taking the piss and will continue to do so until you stop taking them in. I would definitely stop with the lending out of things though.

Whoknowswhocares · 19/11/2012 12:04

OP you do indeed sound lovely and kind.................but also a complete bloody pushover!
Say no. Mean it! Problem solved

Anniegetyourgun · 19/11/2012 12:05

So she wasn't even out, just pretending to be out? Hmm

All together, everybody: "No" is a complete sentence!

VoiceofUnreason · 19/11/2012 12:05

Sorry, the one delivery driver said he RANG your neighbour who said you could take the parcel for her? That suggests she has a phone. Why does she need to ever use yours for anything?

SHRIIIEEEKPoolingBearBlood · 19/11/2012 12:07

Just say you're not able to take any more parcel so could she make other arrangements.

Icanhasnickname · 19/11/2012 12:09

When she is ignoring the door, call loudly through the leter box "Its OK...it's Naysa, not the Bailifs, you can open the door!" Then maybe the humiliation will drive her to return stuff before you even need to pop back for them.

coppertop · 19/11/2012 12:09

Stick a "Do Not Disturb" note on your front door. Tell your friends/family to ignore it.

Personally I'd be tempted to start holding parcels hostage until you get your stuff back. If she collects them from you, tell her you'll come back with her and collect the hoover/tin opener etc. If you have to take them to her, stand on the doorstep and say "While I'm here I'll take my hoover/tin opener back with me."

MakeItALarge · 19/11/2012 12:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Naysa · 19/11/2012 12:14

Next parcel that comes I'm going to tell the driver that she wants it thrown over the back fence.
I'm not a push over I am though but I just feel like I've said yes and can't go back on my word.

It's definitely not avon! One of the parcels is about 4 1/2 feet high!

OP posts:
BabeRuthless · 19/11/2012 12:16

What the HELL are they ordering?! OP I really admire your restraint in not ripping it open for a look.

Everlong · 19/11/2012 12:17

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

McTagster · 19/11/2012 12:24

Don't feel bad about going back on your word. She's taking bloody liberties!
Is it raining where you are? I'd be tempted to stick her parcels on her doorstep in the rain and deny all knowledge.

ivykaty44 · 19/11/2012 12:27

avivabeaver - seems to have it wrapped up Grin

Though I would be tempted to put a sign on the door

No more room for deliveries for parcels, please try elsewhere if you have a parcel for Number of house.