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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

bloody neighbour. Long and trivial. Come flame me!

83 replies

Naysa · 19/11/2012 11:48

Trying not to drip feed. We have a really annoying next door neighbour, she's kind but just so irritating. Not compared to other people's horrible neighbours, but still annoying.

She borrows our things and takes ages giving it back. She uses her kids to sort of guilt us into lending her things, like "oh can we borrow a tin opener, we don't have one and we don't have anything in for the girls to eat." or "can I borrow your hoover, the girls' room needs doing and they can't play in it until it's tidy" Hoover was gone for two weeks, not much of a problem as we mostly just use a brush because the hoover's a bit crap but even after we asked it took a week.

Her house produces a lot of waste, when they moved in they stole our bin acquired a new bin. They manage to fill both of them. One week she asked if she could put a bin bag in our bin on collection day. She put in two and the bin men complained saying if it happens again then they have the right to refuse to empty it because the lid wouldn't shut.

This neighbour always complains about how tight money is, her kids go to a school a short distance away. My mum asked her if she finds it difficult getting there and if she needs a hand with her shopping and she said no, she just hates walking. Every day she knocks at our house to use our phone to ring a taxi. Fair enough, your choice, just stop telling me how poor you are when I can't even afford to get a bus a day. She then gets a cab back, cab to town, cab back with shopping. It adds up.

She also has parcels delivered EVERYDAY. I'm not even exaggerating, she is a SAHM and I know her DP's job and I can't fathom why they'd need so many. Non of my business, but she's never bloody in! We said we could accept them, but we didn't realise the frequency and size of the parcels and I'd feel crappy going back on my word.

Now this is where I'm getting pissed off. (Bravo if you've read this far)
I'm sat in my house on mumsnet with the dog. I don't have anything that needs doing. My hair is a mess I think. I haven't actually braved the mirror yet and I'm in my sister's dressing gown which is an age 14-15 dressing gown, covered in stars.
I hear a knock at the door. I get up and it's a parcel delivery for next door. I sign for it and resume my important mumsnetting business.
Then another knock, another parcel. This one's bigger, it's heavy and fragile. It's windy and I've lost my dignity whilst signing. I can barely lift it but the guy lets my struggle. Oh well.
Then another knock at the door. I ignore it. He comes to the window and we make eye contact. He sees me in all my slovenly glory. So I get up. I answer the door.
"Hiya, I rang your neighbour because she's not in and she said just give the parcel to next door, can you take it in?" I tell him I don't have much room left, he says he'd really appreciate it otherwise they'd have to rearrange delivery. So I agree, he goes to the monster truck and pulls out a massive heavy parcel which is now blocking the hall.

Aibu to drag them all to her garden and set them on fire? I've got nothing better to do other than seethe over parcels. I know I'm going to told to mind my own business, but when they're knocking at your house and getting parcels delivered then I think it is my business!

OP posts:
Librarina · 19/11/2012 12:33

I have a spare chinese silk dressing gown. Would you like it?

Naysa · 19/11/2012 12:36

I think you're missing the point! Grin I have a lovely dressing gown, it's just in the wash. Flashing my granny pants means I don't have to give the delivery man a Christmas tip because he's never coming back!

OP posts:
suburbophobe · 19/11/2012 12:36

I have a neighbour who was never in when a parcel was delivered weekly.

They would ring my bell and I did it for ages. Now I just don't bother.

If they have to rearrange, her problem.

Popumpkin · 19/11/2012 12:46

4 1/2 feet high you say? Maybe it is a new hoover? Or a small bailiff trying to gain access to her house.

The parcels I wouldn't mind so much but the daily use of your phone when she can clearly afford regular taxis would piss me off a treat. What on earth is her justification for not using her own phone?

Naysa · 19/11/2012 12:57

Right, you bunch of bloody harpies. I've uploaded pics of the monstrosity that is threatening to fall on my dog I'm hoping he pisses on it before it kills him

And lay off the dressing gown! Grin

OP posts:
Naysa · 19/11/2012 13:05

I think the bigger one is flat packed furniture, no idea about the smaller one though.

OP posts:
StuntGirl · 19/11/2012 13:05

Christ alive naysa! I'd have taken one look at that parcel and yelled a big fat NO!

You really do need to learn how to say it!

No I will not accept these parcels.
No you cannot use our phone.
No you cannot borrow our things.

Make it your new mantra asap! Grin

ConfusedPixie · 19/11/2012 13:10

Shock That's a joke. Tell her to piss orf! No, I don't have the guts to do that either

Naysa · 19/11/2012 13:16

I know what they are!!

I snooped, one is a custom built computer obviously bought with savings from using their own phone

The other is a piece of beech furniture.

Those bastards.

OP posts:
cumfy · 19/11/2012 13:21

Not that new hoover then.Grin

SugaricePlumFairy · 19/11/2012 13:26

I would be very unhappy to have to wrestle that into my hallway Shock.

Find your inner bitch strength and tell her that you are fed up with receiving her stuff and don't want to be responsible for it anymore.

coffeeinbed · 19/11/2012 13:30

Looked at the photos and I don't I would be happy with something like this in my hall.
Blimey, the brass shoulder of her.

Naysa · 19/11/2012 13:32

They've come to collect them.
She sent her Dp round to get the furniture -even though he's built like a 7 year old It's cold out, I should have offered him my dressing gown

The cheeky bastard said "I might be in tomorrow so you shouldn't get any more knocks on the door." How kind!

OP posts:
hattymattie · 19/11/2012 13:41

Did you not tell him no more parcels then?

cuttingpicassostoenails · 19/11/2012 13:45

Naysa, you are an angel of a neighbour but I think you need to start channeling your inner devil.

The NDN is a prize pain in the fundament and will continue to take advantage for as long as you allow it.

Use the "no" word everytime.

PS...I could knit you a dressing gown if you like...I have some lovely orange nylon yarn.

Pagwatch · 19/11/2012 13:50

That is massively taking the piss.

If you struggle to tell her no then just say to the delivery people that you can't/won't accept it.
Or stop answering the door if it is a delivery van.

PostBellumBugsy · 19/11/2012 13:55

Practice saying "NO". Say it to the mirror, say it over & over & over again. Your neighbour is taking the piss & you are letting her, by not saying "No".

ExitPursuedByABrrrrrrr · 19/11/2012 13:58

That is ridiculous.

Just say No.

BurningBridges · 19/11/2012 14:10

So wasn't that an ideal opportunity when he said "I might be in tomorrow" for you to say I'm glad you've brought up the knocks on the door because I wanted to let you know I can't take parcels in future. See you. Bye." hmm?

Glittertwins · 19/11/2012 14:25

No way would I be taking in a parcel that size, we wouldn't be able to get in / out our front door with that in the hall. She should arrange for a different delivery address or stay at home if she's expecting deliveries of that size.

SecretCervix · 19/11/2012 14:37

I agree you should stop going out on a limb for these people! Would they do the same for you, I don't think they would.

Next time a delivery man knocks, say no, sorry and shut the door. You are ALLOWED to do this.

BreconBeBuggered · 19/11/2012 14:43

Wouldn't it be a terrible shame if your dog were to rip open the next package because you had to go out and leave him to look after it unsupervised?
Seriously, though, you know these people are ripping the piss out of you. Look at the SIZE of those things! Lock yourself in the bathroom if you can't bear to confront the delivery drivers.

Sokmonsta · 19/11/2012 15:02

He RANG your neighbour? Why on earth is she using your phone then? Tell her yours isn't working/only takes incoming calls next time as you've had to make cutbacks due to rising bills.

As for the parcels, honestly, tell the drivers you can't take them. I had to do this with old neighbours when they told the sending company I'd not given them parcels (the woman was unhinged and I'd even got the delivery driver to write how many parcels he'd left with me on the calling card he left her.

It pissed her off no end, but I also had to note on orders i made that I didn't want stuff being left at hers as I was getting opened/damaged parcels with stuff missing.

Failing that if it makes you feel better, any kind of junk mail type things you can sign them up for? All to be posted rather than emailed of course.

EldritchCleavage · 19/11/2012 15:13

Well, she's playing you like a violin, isn't she?

Be very careful she doesn't start using you as the delivery address in an attempt to avoid payment for stuff.

She'll never stop using you, you'll have to stop her doing it. Why not just tell her she's taken advantage of your kindness, so no more (i) lending; (ii) use of 'phone; (iii) taking in parcels.

Then put a large note on the door saying you do not take in parcels.

TheMouseDancing · 19/11/2012 15:22

If you don't want to confront your neighbour i would just take a leaf out of her book and ignore any knocking at your door, that way she can't ask to borrow anything, use your phone etc and couriers can't ask you to take in any parcels.

If they look through your window just pretend you haven't seem them and go upstairs. She will soon get the message Smile

You could let your family/friends know to call you before them come round so you know to answer the door to them.

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