To be saddened by teenagers of today

[dinkybinky]

Ive just been having a conversation with my niece. Apparently its the norm nowadays to "get with" (kiss)as many boys as possible at teenage parties. Parents even supply alcohol to 14/15 year olds.
Girls like this were called awful names if they behaved in such a way when I was at school, whats changed to make it acceptable?

I dunno. Best to avoid generalising, really- although I do think they are dealing with an oversexualised media these days, much more so than we did.

Even so, growing up in the 80s- we got up to all sorts.

The other day, I was struggling down some steps with my toddler in her buggy, and there were two hoodied-up teens lounging on a bench on the street below. One of them leapt up like he'd been stung and rushed up to help me. I was so chuffed, i thought to myself 'I must trot this out next time I encounter someone decrying the yoof of today'.

And now I have. :)

fishwife - I don't understand what you mean? I'm not tutting at anybody?

But I do hope I give my child self esteem, and if a girl is taking pics of herself and passing them around, I would feel sad - but I certainly wouldn't judge or think badly of her for doing it.

okay just hypothosising about how you were viewing these sexually explicit messages being sent between uni mates - assuming someone is showing you - unless you are logged into his account? You are not wrong fishwife despite some progress girls are still judged in this way and boys not, however why not challenge it with your son? I know I will with mine. God I'd be livid if he came home talking about dirty girls etc.

My point exactly green

I was so chuffed, i thought to myself 'I must trot this out next time I encounter someone decrying the yoof of today'.

I love these stories and the yoof of today are not so bad and tbh I bet in 1980 odd somebody would have been saying the youth of today about me and my friends,

I once encountered some 'hoodies' hanging about the shop at night I said excuse me 1 said in his breaking voice , sorry mrs and another opened the shop door for me

greeneyed i am privy to my nephews facebook page he is 20 and i am shocked not just by the boys but also how forward the girls are to and seemily its ot just poor girls being take advatage of some of these girls are nosting about all sort inviting people to 3 some and other things i havent heard of and just worry that

While these girls feel equal the havent relaised in this area they are not equal and whay they see girl power sexual liberation ect a bout of 20 see a bit of a slapper how ever that leaves a nasty taste in any of our mouth and it effcts the way that young girl is viewd

My son son is not that old and was talking about my nephew mainly

Green i have to say i wouldnt want my son talking about women like this i personally wouldnt*want my daughter sleeping with a guy whom she dosent know down the back of a all while drunk peers look on take pictures and share via media

catgirl1976 sorry i am not sure what that means?

This is not about boys parents its about all parents of teens and young adults letting them know that with media shaing ect a drunken fumble between two and quikley make you the talk of the town which you cant take back and sadly it will always be the girl who comes of worse

Catgirl took me a minute

I going to bow out not being rude to anyone but getting it myself because i dont agree with posters very sad not looking for a fight

Seems just want nodding and agreement

Nothing to do with wanting nodding and agreement. Everyone is arguing their side. Like in a normal discussion.

I just think it's a bit rich to say that girls get the worst of it (which no-one is saying isn't true) and then using words like "dirty" and "tarty".

If you think the shit that girls get for their sexual escapades isn't fair, then don't perpetuate it.

evening all

Also, fishwife your use of the word 'forward' applied to girls speaks volumes about your attitude to sexual morality. You really think that because boys don't suffer the consequences of sexual experimentation that is OK and you need do nothing to challenge that when talking to young men. And that makes you part of the problem.

I would never refer to a girl as tarty. Or a boy either, come to that.

Oooh, Olivia - are you supplying the iced buns? .

Seriously - you are probably needed here.

I said FFS and someone drew a napkin, not much to see here really. Sorry for interrupting your evening Olivia

Fishwife when I was 20 I was forever going out to themed nights out at university. I,in your eyes,definitely looked like "a right slapper". I had a great time.

Live a little,you might even have fun.

fishwife who is telling these boys that a girl who takes pictures of her vulva is a slapper? where are these boys getting this message from? because all you can tell from a girl who took a picture of her vulva is that...she is a girl who took a picture of her vulva. you cannot assume anything else about her. you cant assume why she did it or who it was intended for or how it got passed to other people.

if someone told me there was a girl in their school who took a picture of her vulva i would say "and?" because it doesn't prove anything about that girl or give any sort of reputation. it is the people who give her the reputation not her.

I don't think I've seen the word vulva used so many times in one post!

Yes try teaching the teenagers in your family to have more respect for girls/women and things might be different fish

sorry moomin. i was trying to emphasise the fact of what it actually is to fishwife as opposed to her idea of it as ladybits or whatever else she calls it.

I've just asked my 17yo DS about all this. He says girls are judged and boys are not. He says it's not fair, but that's how it is. He says he wishes it wasn't so.

He says he thinks that maybe it's because "Boys will do it with anyone but they usually can't get anyone to do it with them. But most girls could get any boy they wanted, so can afford to be more picky, so if they're not, people (other girls and boys) think they don't have much self respect .

( Note: that doesn't of course mean any of that is true; it's just a teenage boy's perception - which I thought was interesting and relevant here :) )

I asked him what his own experience of all this was, he told me "I'm not really comfortable discussing it with my mother, sorry"!

Your son sounds nice flow4

If only all teenage boys were that sensible. Maybe they all are when talking with their mothers.

It starts early, this thinking of women as dirty. The year 3s I teach already do. They look in their Spiderman comic at the "dirty" pictures of women. The men and women characters are all in skintight costumes - obviously, since they're superheroes. But it's only the women who are deemed "dirty" to look at.

It makes me want to cry.