Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Aibu to think men never truly Grow Up?!!!

128 replies

pumpkinsweetie · 15/11/2012 21:38

Having a dh that must have what HE wants, when HE wants and if HE doesn't get it he stomps his feets & sulks for days!!!
HE has to have the latest game/console/chair etc, etc even before i have finished my christmas shopping and then today he's told me HE expects a £300 gaming chair if he gets a job!!-WTAF is wrong with his self entitled arse?
Apparently i have welshed on 'OUR' deal as i said he could have it 'ages' ago apparently-(not realising he meant a £300 one, i thought he meant a cheapo one)!
So he is basing his enthusiasium on maybe getting a job for a fucking gaming chair.
Aibu to think he should grow the fuck up?, especially as it will be a mw job and we won't be able to afford it?

OP posts:
KellyEllyChristmasBelly · 15/11/2012 22:41

Sorry AnyFucker ;)

AnyFucker · 15/11/2012 22:43

Oh, you are looking for a fuckwit partner then ?

You seem keen on defending them.

Fairenuff · 15/11/2012 22:43

If you treat him like a child, he can continue to behave that way.

But not all men are like that. Lots of women are not attracted to sulking, or selfish, entitled, childish behaviour. It's a bit of a turn off.

Most women prefer a mature man who is ready for an adult relationship.

And some women like to complain about their partners but carry on enabling their behaviour.

Each to their own, I suppose.

Bogeyface · 15/11/2012 22:44

But Kelly just because alot of men admit to it, doesnt make it right does it?

If I admitted to smacking you in the tits when you got on my nerves, would that make it right?

The fact that there are a lot of men out there that are like this is just fucking depressing, doesnt make it OK.

Bogeyface · 15/11/2012 22:45

Oh, and the fact that there are a lot of women out there enabling and defending this behaviour is even more depressing because it means that the rot will be passed on to the next generation :(

AnyFucker · 15/11/2012 22:45

kelly, I am hoping you have recently dumped a fuckwit like this

that's the best explanation for your contribution I can see Smile

KellyEllyChristmasBelly · 15/11/2012 22:45

Assumptions again? No I'm not looking for a partner, very happily single. And interested to know exactly HOW I defended immature men? Just simply pointing out that OP is right. Many many men are immature. Are you spoiling for a fight dear?

OTTMummA · 15/11/2012 22:46

My step dad once bought a play station instead of the washing machine we needed as ours had broken,,, he did many other astonishingly selfish things over the years.

He is a Twat, and i knew that at 8yrs old, took my mum a few more years more 14 until he left her in the shit for another woman.

PEOPLE LIKE THIS NEVER CHANGE.

Fairenuff · 15/11/2012 22:48

Many many men admit this

Admit what? Confused

KellyEllyChristmasBelly · 15/11/2012 22:48

Of course it isn't right bogey it is just how many men are. I didn't create them nor am I defending them.

AnyFucker · 15/11/2012 22:48

kelly ? me looking for a fight ?

nah, not me

simply pointing out sexism when I see it

pumpkinsweetie · 15/11/2012 22:52

He's now came downstairs to ask me whats wrong? WtafConfused
Told him whats wrong and i just get a tirade of abuse, "bollocks", "don't fucking care" etc!

Why am i putting up with this manchild?

OP posts:
Bogeyface · 15/11/2012 22:53

Kelly I think you need to clarify your point for me!

Yes, there are alot of men out there and yes, it is wrong.

How is saying that the OP has one of these "bad ones etc" a problem? I really am missing your point!

Bogeyface · 15/11/2012 22:53

Only you know that Pumpkin

Why are you?

KellyEllyChristmasBelly · 15/11/2012 22:53

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

Fairenuff · 15/11/2012 22:55

Kelly I think the point is that because OP is asking 'are all men like this' it gives the impression that she has not experienced a relationship with a normal, loving, respectful partner. If she believes that this is all she can expect, she is more likely to put up with it.

But if others can reassure her that there are plenty of kind, responsible, mature men in equal relationships with women, it might make her realise that she does not have to settle for being treated this badly.

So although it might be a bit of a 'yawn' to you but it might also be incredibly helpful to the OP.

OTTMummA · 15/11/2012 22:56

I do not know,,, learned behaviour? Low self esteem? Lack of confidence?

Honestly you need to find out why you accept this kind of shit because you need to stop it, and teach your children not to end up in this exact same senario.

thebody · 15/11/2012 22:56

My partner is great, fabulous and respectful though!

Then again I deserve it as I am good to him too.

That's the deal?

MrsTerryPratchett · 15/11/2012 22:58

You only have to look on these forums... Yeah, because I'm going to write a post about how DH has spent the last three nights doing all the overnights with DD because I've got a cold and am not up for it. He also did all the housework, and the rubbish and is going out this evening to buy me presents for my 40th. Where would I post that? In Smug Married Bastards, possibly?

KellyEllyChristmasBelly · 15/11/2012 22:59

Fairenough if there was a bit more reassuring going and and a little less putting down of OP because others DPs are perfect I would agree with you. This is how these threads always go.

pumpkinsweetie · 15/11/2012 23:00

Very true OTT i wouldn't want my children growing up with such selfishness instilled inside them.
Dhs family are rotten too, rotten & selfish to the core so much so i'm estranged from pil.
Once i thought dh was a good apple, now he is proving to be a bad appleSad

OP posts:
FermezLaBouche · 15/11/2012 23:01

Pumpkin - because you have been brainwashed into thinking that because you've snared a man you're in the accepted state adult women are meant to be in. ie the property of a MAN.

Can you not envisage telling him to fuck the fuck off? Of if not then dumping him and being single? Why would you put up with living with such a state?

AnyFucker · 15/11/2012 23:02

When I was in a shit relationship, I needed examples of how things should be, because my reality and ability to judge healthy boundaries had been skewed

a "pat, pat, you poor thing" was a complete waste of time

Bogeyface · 15/11/2012 23:02

WHo's putting down the OP?!

pumpkinsweetie · 15/11/2012 23:04

I need to hear examples of good men so that i can see how bad this situation truly is?
Unfortunetly i see his behaviour as 'normal' as it's so expected iyswim.

OP posts: