To think this is vile

[Ispywith]

To get a child of 7 for Christmas their own Xbox, tv & DVD player bla bla bla. Saw it on thread about what people are getting their kids got Christmas. Is it me or is this madness?

Gimmecakeandcandy 'but I won't be letting my kids have a tv in their room ever. They have in their playroom and that's enough.'

Really, ever, never?

I will also never ever be letting mine have a TV in their bedrooms.

I was never allowed a TV in my bedroom and my children won't be either.

My children don't have a telly in their rooms either (still at primary) but I won't say never as watched my brother and sister make that mistake on parenting issues and backtrack later.

One poster said it quite smugly but that she had one in the playroom, so they can be shut away their. Some folkndon't have the luxury of a playroom, thatwould be the children's bedroom - not so different.

I've found this post so interesting and overwhelmingly indicative of today's society. I don't think the point of the original post was just about money but more about values. Giving a young child a games console, TV or DVD for their sole use promotes an unhealthy, uncommunicative and antisocial lifestyle. In my opinion the action of buying such a gift for a young child isn't "vile" but it's not something I would choose to do.
What is vile however is the response the original poster has received. The very strength of feeling of some posters suggests that they too realise the implications of buying such a gift for a young child. It's not about the money, but our materialistic society patently has trouble in understanding this concept. Sometimes it's helpful to sit back and consider differing opinions rather than taking offence at comments you neither needn't nor shouldn't.

I don't understand why it's okay to have one in the playroom but no TV in bedroom. DDs playroom is her bedroom! It is possible to enforce rules about watching when it's in their bedroom you know!

Giving a young child a games console, TV or DVD for their sole use promotes an unhealthy, uncommunicative and antisocial lifestyle

Massive sweeping statement and very untrue. It is quite possible to have a console and limit use. There are many games that are played with more than one person and many family games.

Because you use MN OP, does that mean you are unable to talk to anyone in RL? Does it mean you have a solitary lifestyle stuck in front of the computer not communicating with the outside world? I doubt it. It is quite possible to enjoy things such as consoles in moderation and still be a communicative, well rounded person.

What is vile however is the response the original poster has received

No, what is vile is the OP starting a thread about a thread, mocking and judging someone's choices and then going on to laugh at 'people getting shitty.'

Values?! I'm not sure what the OP really thought she was going to achieve with this thread, but it wasn't about societal values. It was judgey and unpleasant. Superior, sneering and also very bad etiquette to start a thread about a thread.

As other people have pointed out, none of us has any idea what other posters' family/financial situations are, so to pass judgement on the things they are buying is not just pointless but also actually quite offensive.

I don't understand why it's okay to have one in the playroom but no TV in bedroom.

Because our playroom is downstairs and part of the family space.

Ds is pushing to take the xbox upstairs but I am resisting - it's down in the front room atm, easier to keep and eye on what's going on - same as a computer, it needs to be used in the front room.

If DD was into computer games etc, then I'd happily get her something like that. She doesn't have a TV/DVD player, but does have a portable DVD player that gets a lot of use, in the car and at home when she doesn't want to watch TV with us. We do have a Kinect, but it was won as a raffle prize and doesn't get much use.

She has an iPhone (my old one) that is loaded with games and music and this year we are getting her a camcorder - so I suppose she has a lot of electronic 'stuff'.

She's not spoilt and she certainly doesn't have an "unhealthy, uncommunicative and antisocial lifestyle" She uses the iPhone in the street with her mates to make up dances, and often films them. She watches DVDs on her player because she's "Bored of Australian Masterchef Mum" and her and her friends use the Kinect to play 'Adventures' and 'Dance Party' (the only games we have!)

If the poster on the 'other' thread that this OP is sneering at is able to afford to buy their child those things what the Hell has it got to do with anyone else?

i really dont get where this idea that people who buy consoles/tvs/dvd players for a child's sole use are incapable of setting boundaries for their children has come from.

do people really think the items are handed over and the child given free reign over when they use it?

it is quite possible to tell your child, "you can play on your Xbox for an hour after homework is done" the same as i tell mine they can watch tv for an hour/go over and play with X for an hour/go on my laptop for an hour" if you have raised your child to accept boundaries and rules set by their parents then it wont be difficult to implement similar rules for whatever the newest toy is. Fwiw my son has gotten things like playmobil, remote control cars etc for his sole use in the past and of course wants to spend every hour playing with them in the first few days/weeks after xmas. it's normal. and yes, i've made him take his sodding playmobil to his room so it's out from under my feet (literally). that doesn't mean i'm creating an antisocial child.

Exactly TiredBooyhoo

It's like if you buy your child a bucket of Lego, you're not going to want them to play with it 24/7 to the exclusion of everything else going on in their life.

A games console is just another toy and can/should be limited.

God, don't mention lego. Its like bloody legoland in our house!

Ds is an only child, I have 2 nephews and a niece and a £20 max budget for adults, so ds does tend to get lots of xmas presents, for my mum he is the only GC. Tbh, I like getting him things he will enjoy using!

I'd just like to point out that I said "Giving a young child a games console, TV or DVD for their sole use PROMOTES an unhealthy, uncommunicative and antisocial lifestyle." I did not say that this is always the outcome. Of course it is possible to limit usage. The fact remains however that, by giving your child such a present, you are actively encouraging them to sit in front of a screen rather than interact with other children in a normal, good-old-fashioned way. Your child might use an iPhone to help her create a dance with her friends but why do they need an iPhone to do that? (Sorry to pick up on that one example)

Attention spans are becoming shorter and shorter and people are becoming increasingly unable to speak to one another in a coherent manner: research shows that technology is playing a huge part in that shift. Let's not, as parents, allow our children to fall in to that trap but encourage them to converse, consider and evaluate with those around them.

Your child might use an iPhone to help her create a dance with her friends but why do they need an iPhone to do that

Because it is loaded with songs for them to dance to, dance videos for them to copy, and has a video record function for them to record their "Shows" (so that us long suffering parents get to watch them - I forward them on to share the pain )

by giving your child such a present, you are actively encouraging them to sit in front of a screen rather than interact with other children in a normal, good-old-fashioned way

I said a Kinect - you don't sit in front of a Kinect, and you don't play it on your own. You jump around shouting, screaming and laughing from what I gather from my DD and her friends.

(you really shouldn't judge if you don't know what you are talking about)

Surreymummy, given that I'm sure I'm the one this thread is aimed at, read my responses and tell me how I'm damaging my son's social life or depriving him of play opportunities. He attends after school club four days a week, he plays football three times a week, swims once a weekly, we see extended family every week and in summer he plays out every night with local kids. Even after all that, there's still a lot of time left! He has no siblings and no dad, it's just the two of us and we talk a lot, he's a very mature and eloquent little boy, but that still leaves spare time in the day, particularly in winter. His tv, Xbox, ds and DVD player are just add ons to his life, just as mumsnet and facebook are add ons to mine. They don't rule them so take your sweeping judgements elsewhere.

why is old fashioned always better? i dont get that.

and BTW most gamesoles have the option of using more than 1 controller at a time, tvs and dvds can be watched by more than one person. in my house my son is welcome to have friends over as long as we aren't doing something as just a family. they watch tv together, go on my laptop together, play with toys together. when he goes to his dad's house they play the playstation together and when his step uncle is there (he is only 8) he goes on it with him too. it's very much a group thing for my son.

"Your child might use an iPhone to help her create a dance with her friends but why do they need an iPhone to do that? "

she doesn't need it. but it's available to her so why not. did you use a skipping rope as a child? why? you didn't need that, you could have just jumped up and down without one

"I don't understand why it's okay to have one in the playroom but no TV in bedroom.

Because our playroom is downstairs and part of the family space."

what if you live in a bungalow??? even though DD's bedroom is upstairs and she has a tv and wii up there, I still have the ability to walk in to her room and interact with her, join in with what game she is playing, watch a bit of telly with her (which is controlled by the sky box in the living room so she can't end up watching wall to wall iCarly) Its not as if she locks herself in there and I'm not allowed in (I'll give her another couple of years before she does that!)

I wonder if people used to moan about skipping ropes and new fangeled tops back in the day.

I will be getting my ds a games console when the time comes and I can't wait!

All the adults I know that play a lot and watch loads of tv didn't really have them as kids.

Give them a console and rules to encourage sensible usage what's wrong with that?

it's very much a group thing for my son

THAT'S MY EXPERIENCE TOO -oops caps lock!!

I always have a room full of nearly teens, especially in the winter when they can't get out and play, in the summer it hardly gets used as they are all out on their bikes or playing footie.

Games like wii and kinnect are much more family orientated.

Like playing board games really with better technology.

Good for you redlac. I'm sure you are doing what you believe is right for your family, just as I am doing what is right for mine. There's no need to be deliberately obtuse wrt bungalows. I was explaining my reasons, not passing comment on yours.

Each to their own, really. I can't get too excited or upset about other people and their present choices. Dh and I like three seat sofas with their seat cushions entirely obscured by presents. When young we both came downstairs to that on Christmas morning and so do the same with our own children.

If we could afford them, the kind of thing in your OP would be a family present. I can't imagine giving a 7yo their own console in their own room as I prefer not to have gadgets in bedrooms (at the moment - will change when they are older). Can't be arsed to get annoyed about what anyone else does though