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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think this is vile

336 replies

Ispywith · 15/11/2012 18:18

To get a child of 7 for Christmas their own Xbox, tv & DVD player bla bla bla. Saw it on thread about what people are getting their kids got Christmas. Is it me or is this madness?

OP posts:
gimmecakeandcandy · 15/11/2012 19:47

monkeyfacegrace there is defintely someone displaying twattish, chip on shoulder' behaviour here and it is not the op...

Oh and no I not jealous of you and can afford all you boast about but I won't be letting my kids have a tv in their room ever. They have in their playroom and that's enough. And I'm sure people on here couldn't give a shiny shit about your over the top boasting.

BeerTricksPott3r · 15/11/2012 19:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nicknamegrief · 15/11/2012 19:48

Such a shame that this thread even started up, I quite enjoyed the original thread where it seemed that everyone was just describing what they had bought without the judgement.

We all have different budgets and we all have different ideas on what we want to get our children and family. It's a shame we can't just accept these differences without being all judgemental about it.

My sister in law and I when we are together on Christmas Eve always sit and discuss what presents we have bought everyone, its lovely and we both enjoy watching everyone else getting their surprises on Christmas Day, we budget for Christmas very differently (they spend about double on their kids and each other and don't get gifts for other adults in the family, while we do). She could see me/us as stingy and I could see her as indulging her children. I don't and don't think she does of me. I am glad we are different otherwise it would be dull.

Thank you to everyone who has made me laugh on this tread though.

Ispywith · 15/11/2012 19:48

Blue stocking can I come!? Yes I love sashimi!

OP posts:
Ispywith · 15/11/2012 19:51

Not nessarily judgemental.....it is healthy to have a debate and wouldn't the world be boring if we were all the same? It's a lively discussion but yes some very large chips on shoulders! Grin

OP posts:
altinkum · 15/11/2012 19:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nicknamegrief · 15/11/2012 19:58

It's the name calling that makes it feel so judgmental (maybe that's me being judgemental). Blush

A good debate around how we justify what we spend and purchase for our children at Christmas is always going to be interesting though.

Marzipanface · 15/11/2012 19:59

I think vile is a strange word to use. What do you really think?

Personally I'm a bit ambivalent. I don't have a seven year old and when I was that age I certainly didn't have access to the equivalent technology! I think it is quite generous for a seven year old but if you have the money and teach your child to have other interests and to be appreciate what they have then I don't see a problem.

Just to let you know my 2 year old has an iPad. Don't have a hernia!

LucieMay · 15/11/2012 20:00

It's also amusing people think a present list indicates if a child is spoilt. We have no car and my son's dad is too off his face to bother with him. I hardly think having to trail around on buses and growing up without a dad makes a little boy a spoilt brat?

Ispywith · 15/11/2012 20:03

Mine have access to iPad, I am not some evil person that doesn't let my kids have anything, just really shocked how many people have these massive lists of OTT presents IMO, & wondered what others thought?

OP posts:
greeneyed · 15/11/2012 20:07

Worra, I laughed for ten whole minutes about the underpants and have now had to change my own!

Nicknamegrief · 15/11/2012 20:14

It does surprise me sometimes how much people spend.

We have some good friends and they spend in my opinion a lot on their children at Christmas £200-250 each but then they don't get any other presents from any other relatives (huge extended family) and they don't buy gifts for anyone outside the immediate family. When you take it into context it becomes more normal.

I spend about £75 each on my children at Christmas. I do shop around so I tend to get some good deals so the RRP value may well be higher. They also get gifts from our extended family so they do very well at birthdays and Christmas.

We do have some very wealthy friends who spend that amount and they do get presents from the extended family too, as well as various holidays, days out during the year. Have to say their children are absolutely lovely and don't appear spoilt.

So in my opinion it is more down to parenting whether children become spoilt rather than how much is or isn't spent. Attitude they say is everything.

Mintberry · 15/11/2012 20:14

Have got my 5yo DSS a second hand PS2 I picked up on Ebay for £15 - he likes games but at his age he just wouldn't appreciate the difference in technical quality enough for us to consider any modern, high end expensive consoles.
I'd maybe put it off until he was 9 or 10, though I'm pretty sure I was being bought a shiny new Nintendo 64 for Christmas around the age of seven back in the day, and all my friends were getting similar things, so I don't think it's that weird.
As long as the kid doesn't get spoiled from day to day (they're gonna get spoiled on Christmas anyway, right?).

DreamingOfTheMaldives · 15/11/2012 21:06

Op I certainly think vile was the wrong word to have used but I do think that word describes MonkeyFaceGrace posts quite accurately!

I think children should always be left wanting more at Christmas and birthdays. I would never get them everything they want as I think it's important that they learn they cannot always have everything they want. I would ask them to write a list and then get them things off it but not everything; they would then have to save their own spending money if they wanted to buy the other things, or just go without. I believe that teaches them important lessons.

I understand that people will buy for their children dependant upon their means but we went to my brother-in-law and his wife's house on Christmas Day; their 7 year old daughter, was handed a present to open and she said "not more presents, I'm bored of opening presents." That is certainly an example of a child who had been bought far too much by her parents. Each year there are toys from the previous year still in their boxes and wrappings because they've got so much they don't play with them. Just because you can comfortably afford it, doesn't mean you should buy to excess.

Portofino · 15/11/2012 21:27

Well we have a Wii and and Xbox and dd (9) has a tv/dvd in her room. For Xmas she has asked for Lego and a Chemistry Set and Ice Age 4 on DVD.

MarianneM · 15/11/2012 21:32

I intend to buy my DDs:

DD1 (aged 4) - toy tea set

DD2 (aged 2) - dressing gown

And that's it.

(Last year I got called "the lump of coal MNer".)

MadameCastafiore · 15/11/2012 21:35

Excess is relative though. If they are fecking wealthy not a huge deal is it?

Ormiriathomimus · 15/11/2012 21:38

I seem to spend a lot of money on my kids and sometimes wring my hands a bit over it when I have time. But I went to a school meeting for parents of children who are going on a trip to the States next week. Bearing in mind the trip cost well over 1K - some of those parents are also giving their children £500 spending money. This is NOT a well-off middle-class area. Now I feel like bloody Scrooge.....

redlac · 15/11/2012 21:44

If anything buying them the Xbox for Christmas makes future birthdays and Christmas easier cos you buy them more games for the bloody thing!

PatriciaHolm · 15/11/2012 21:50

Different families take different approaches. Some save all year to splurge heavily at Christmas, not buying much the rest of the year. We take the opposite approach; we buy our children (and ourselves!) lots of things throughout the year, for example DS has just got a new bike, because he needed it. Others might have made him wait for Christmas; we didn't. Which means we don't tend to buy a huge pile of stuff for Christmas. Up until this year (they are 8 and 6.5) they haven't wanted expensive stuff anyway.

They will probably get a kindle fire each this year; they don't have any gaming consoles of their own yet. We spend quite a lot of time flying/driving on holidays, so they will come into their own for that.

WorraLiberty · 15/11/2012 22:15

Whoops! Sorry Gooeyhead and Greeneyed Grin

BegoniaBampot · 15/11/2012 22:30

Gimmecakeandcandy 'but I won't be letting my kids have a tv in their room ever. They have in their playroom and that's enough.'

Really, ever, never?

greeneyed · 15/11/2012 22:44

Marianne - I think it's safe to say you'll be retaining the title this year! At least at two they probably won't remember (and still be talking about in 30 years) the 'dressing gown' Christmas!

MarianneM · 15/11/2012 23:03

For me Christmas is not about presents, and I don't want to teach that to my children either.

They will definitely not feel hard done by - they don't generally go without anything, I just don't believe in excessive, meaningless consumption.

Startail · 16/11/2012 00:51

DD2 had a laptop at 6 or 7 that did most of that.
Not vile just got her off mine.

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