To wish dh earned more money?

[GoldPlatedNineDoors]

Dh does a job he adores, but pays a pittance and involves a longish commute on public transport (he doesnt drive). The site he is at is moving to somewhere out of reach of public transport (without trebling his commuting time and paying taxis).

Work are offering a years paid transport from his current site and back again daily, but he would still need to be at this site an hour before usual each morning. All this for the same practically minimum wage. He is still unsure whether he is going to accept.

I work in a job I feel pretty 'meh' about, involves seven day week shift work but pays reasonable. While we dont have massive outgoings, we dont have any money left at the end of the month. LUckily we get a huge discount on our childcare as it is a family member who is a registered CM.

AIBU to wish that dh would do a job whoch he doesnt necessarily love in order that we can have some savings / a nest egg. We dont have an annual abroad holiday but have one family UK holiday which costs £200 total.

If his employer is offering to pay travel for the first year can't that 60 be used ot pay 4x lessons a month while he practices on your car?

The employer is paying transport costs from his current place of work to his new place of work. He will still need the £60pcm to travel too and from where he works now.

I think there is a way to still work in this field for more money. Not sure what it is, but I think it exists

@goldplated is that all? Its a bit crap tbh and not the norm. Is there any room for negotiation. My last employer paid all travel to work for two years after moving office and everyone thought that was v rubbish as they offered no relocation package.

TBH if he can't afford the commute if that involves learning to drive then it is a no deal situation basically. Could the employer subsidise driving lessons as part of 'training'. Long shot but if it is the difference between working there and not they may be swayed. If they have moved from a public transport route away from one they need to be prepared to cough up a bit more tbh.

I'm not trying to suggest its easy btw I spent a fortune learning to drive this year and spent ages with silly commutes due to not being able to drive and it was never particuarly simple.

My husband has a dream job in a northern city working in the field that he loves...............I live in Essex and have 3dcs to deal with solo all week.
when his old job was not going well I offered to keep him as a golf hubby so we could live together....he would not hear of this. He is well paid but we are now running 2 households.

GoldPlated, what options does your DH have? If he accepts the job at the new location but then you decide that for time and cost reasons it is unsustainable will your DH be able to claim redundancy? Or is claiming redundancy something he has to do now or never?

I would suggest that a call to ACAS would be useful. I did this when faced with a much increased commute and it helped me to understand my choices.

goldplated - obviously only you as a family can decide if this is acceptable.

This just wouldn't wash in our family - an adult who couldn't afford to run a car/learn to drive or provide adequately for the family just wouldn't be on. They would be seen to be putting their needs before the families.

Even my 17 year old can afford driving lessons and a car on his PT job (though obviously he hasn't same outgoings as your husband)

The extra travelling time will put a strain on family life (and you have said the commute is already longish). And when the year is up, how will he get to this job? It is just going to be completely impractical to stay with this employer. I really don't think this is going to be a matter of your husband choosing to stay in this job, it's just going to be impossible.

If I were him, I would probably stay in the job for the present, grit my teeth over the extra commute, but be looking for another job. And not just half-heartedly, but considering anything practical (i.e. commutable). If I could stay in the field that I love, all well and good; but if I couldn't then I'd still need a job.

As to learning to drive - it sounds as if you couldn't afford the second car anyway, but have you considered intensive/semi-intensive courses? I got my licence via a semi-intensive course. Rather than one/two one-hour lessons per week, I had lessons lasting three hours every other day over the space of a fortnight. WOrked well for me, as with weekly lessons it took me half the lesson to get back in the swing of it IYSWIM.

as Natasha points out, this is only a temporary question at best: going by your OP he will have to start looking for another job within the year anyway. This is the time to start evaluating his options, upping his skills, spending all the money you have on his employability.

fwiw dh was served with his redundancy notice yesterday. He has taken a new job with a 6 hr daily commute (!) because he knows even if it doesn't work out he will be in a better position looking for a job from a job rather than from the jobcentre iyswim

If you feel really strongly about a holiday abroad (which obviously he doesn;t), then you earn it. You're doing somethign about that already, but if you are the money motivated one, you can't put your values onto him. I know a couple in exactly the same situation. He now does more childcare while she has given up her own company and taken (well) paid employment a monster commute away because she's the one who wants a german car and holidays abroad. They're all happy because he does what he loves, and she gets the perks she cares about.