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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To have a right go at my neighbour for using my drive

68 replies

Ghoulelocks · 09/11/2012 10:45

We live on a fairly busy a-road. I have a drive as does the semi next door. The other side is a large house which has no drive, but parking through an alleyway in the road behind. In the big house there's a woman who has a toddler and a baby and gets cabs everywhere. She gets two cabs a day at least and always gets them to pull over half on the pavement while she unloads. I used to say hi to her but she blanks me and the other neighbour and is generally unfriendly, normally eye-balling out the window if we dare to sit in the garden after 7pm when her kids sleep etc.

Someone else mentioned she's taken to using my drive for her cabs. Last night I came home earlier than normal and she was on my drive unloading her million and one flashy items she can't leave the house without stuff. It's dark, a busy a-road and I can't get onto my drive with traffic piling up because she's on it, getting beeped at etc with my own huge bump and toddler in the car as people come up fast behind us. I lost my rag a bit, she didn't even speed up a bit when she saw me arrive. I told her to get off my property and told her she had a right cheek (didn't shout or swear, kids present but angry tone and ranty until she'd moved as told).

Her husband this morning just came out to tell me I was 'unneighbourly' as I put out the bins. He argued she has small children and it's difficult unloading them outside their house, said I should appreciate the difficultly as I'm a mum too. I pointed out:

  1. She could drive around the corner and walk back. Walking a short distance wouldn't kill her, she'd just have to unfold the buggy rather than carry it. Pulling over on the next road or in her alleyway is safer (though it's still difficult to turn a car round there)
  2. If she'd had the manners to ASK me about using the drive I'd probably say yes, and tell her the hours we work that it would be ok to use it
  3. They had the children when they bought the house. It's a huge house in a lovely area and they chose the big front garden over a driveway.
He just replied it was 'unchristian' of me, and he saw me going to church on Sundays. Also pointed out me and other neighbour always use each other's drives/ front gardens for access/ visitors freely. (Other neighbourly are great, the type who always say hi and pop out to help you if they see you doing heavy gardening etc or mow our side of the shared lawn. plus they have the common sense not to actually block access to the drive but park on the shared lawn in between us)

I'm fuming a bit now at them. They think they can access other's property as a bloody right without having to give anything back in terms of basic manners. They'd been there nearly a year and this is the first conversation I'm had with either of them.

OP posts:
Ghoulelocks · 09/11/2012 13:26

voiceofthevoiceless- it's a completely half-arsed wind up you've managed, you've deduced that one neighbour using my drive means they all dislike me despite the fact I've mentioned I get on with the other side. If you're interested we know the others well too...if you're into winding people up online get better at it Hmm

librarian agreed, even if her dh had started this morning with 'sorry but...' I'd be more inclined to be ok with it occasionally. It's the entitlement issue that got my back up more than the use.

maddening, I have the church bible in my care at the moment. About 2 foot long, would that do Wink

OP posts:
diddl · 09/11/2012 13:30

"It does seem a shame to live in mutual antipathy with NDNs rather than let them use a drive to unload two small children from a taxi twice a day, but I guess everyone has their own prorities and worries"

Perhaps OP wouldn´t have minded too much if her NDNs weren´t so rude/entitled.

I think most people don´t mind doing the odd favour for neighbours.

Getting pissed off with the neighbour whose drive you are using for your own convenience is ridiculous.

I recommend gates-& sitting back & watching if anyone drives into themBlush

Journey · 09/11/2012 13:34

Voiceofthevoiceless - that is an insensitive comment you made. The op has done nothing wrong.

SmellyFartado · 09/11/2012 13:50

Oh do behave VoiceoftheVoiceless.

The OP has already explained that they get on perfectly well with their other neighbours so stop with the unnecessary comments.

pmcblonde · 09/11/2012 13:52

OP - if she uses the same taxi firm all the time then let them know that their drivers are blocking access to your property and ask them to make sure drivers are aware that you need access to your drive and the neighbours don't have permission to use it. It may or may not be effective and you'll need to use a different taxi firm yourself from that point on...

cornycatona · 09/11/2012 13:57

Voiceofthevoiceless - are you the lazy cab woman?

Iggly · 09/11/2012 14:00

Was it you voiceofthevoiceless?!

WholeLottaRosie · 09/11/2012 14:12

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

FeckOffCup · 09/11/2012 14:17

I agree with pmcblonde, I would phone the taxi company and tell them that their cabs are trespassing on your property every time you see her using your drive in one of them, hopefully they will get the message to the drivers not to use the driveway at number X Ghoulelocks street.

Dead69Girl · 09/11/2012 14:28

YANBU,

they sound like a right pair,

TheSkiingGardener · 09/11/2012 15:45

Sounds like your drive is becoming public property. Time for a chain across it or some gates. And a keycode padlock so nice neighbours can share!

Jusfloatingby · 09/11/2012 15:58

They sound like they deserve each other - pair of rude, self entitled knobs. I feel sorry for their children though. Could you put one of those spikey things on your drive that you can activate to spiral down when you are driving in or out?

voiceofthevoiceless what a stupid post.

gettingeasier · 09/11/2012 16:25

In from work feet up - check

Coffee and MN - check

Parking/drive thread on AIBU - yipee !

Dumb comment from random poster - check

OP you are so NBU. I am due to get my drive done and if I see so much as an unauthorised tyre on it there will trouble

NadiaWadia · 09/11/2012 16:26

If they have such a big front garden, then surely they could spare a bit of it to be converted to a driveway for themselves? Don't understand why they haven't done this. It sounds like they really need one as you are on such a busy street, and they shouldn't expect to use neighbours' drives as a matter of routine. YANBU.

NervousAt20 · 09/11/2012 16:34

I'd block the taxi in too

avivabeaver · 09/11/2012 16:45

drove past a house today that had rising bollards (3 of them) installed on their driveway. I wonder if they have problem neighbours?

we have a shared drive,sensible polite neighbours, no problem. I dread them moving

gettingeasier · 09/11/2012 16:51

I just think if you arent on nodding/speaking terms with your neighbour they have no business using your drive and she should have been apologising profusely for keeping you waiting.

Instead her DH comes over mouthing off ? What did you say OP ?

carabos · 09/11/2012 18:36

With three cars and only one of the couple driving, I bet she's on a ban for some reason. Just saying.

YANBU

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