To have a right go at my neighbour for using my drive

[Ghoulelocks]

We live on a fairly busy a-road. I have a drive as does the semi next door. The other side is a large house which has no drive, but parking through an alleyway in the road behind. In the big house there's a woman who has a toddler and a baby and gets cabs everywhere. She gets two cabs a day at least and always gets them to pull over half on the pavement while she unloads. I used to say hi to her but she blanks me and the other neighbour and is generally unfriendly, normally eye-balling out the window if we dare to sit in the garden after 7pm when her kids sleep etc.

Someone else mentioned she's taken to using my drive for her cabs. Last night I came home earlier than normal and she was on my drive unloading her million and one flashy items she can't leave the house without stuff. It's dark, a busy a-road and I can't get onto my drive with traffic piling up because she's on it, getting beeped at etc with my own huge bump and toddler in the car as people come up fast behind us. I lost my rag a bit, she didn't even speed up a bit when she saw me arrive. I told her to get off my property and told her she had a right cheek (didn't shout or swear, kids present but angry tone and ranty until she'd moved as told).

Her husband this morning just came out to tell me I was 'unneighbourly' as I put out the bins. He argued she has small children and it's difficult unloading them outside their house, said I should appreciate the difficultly as I'm a mum too. I pointed out:

1. She could drive around the corner and walk back. Walking a short distance wouldn't kill her, she'd just have to unfold the buggy rather than carry it. Pulling over on the next road or in her alleyway is safer (though it's still difficult to turn a car round there)
2. If she'd had the manners to ASK me about using the drive I'd probably say yes, and tell her the hours we work that it would be ok to use it
3. They had the children when they bought the house. It's a huge house in a lovely area and they chose the big front garden over a driveway.

He just replied it was 'unchristian' of me, and he saw me going to church on Sundays. Also pointed out me and other neighbour always use each other's drives/ front gardens for access/ visitors freely. (Other neighbourly are great, the type who always say hi and pop out to help you if they see you doing heavy gardening etc or mow our side of the shared lawn. plus they have the common sense not to actually block access to the drive but park on the shared lawn in between us)

I'm fuming a bit now at them. They think they can access other's property as a bloody right without having to give anything back in terms of basic manners. They'd been there nearly a year and this is the first conversation I'm had with either of them.

Wow - cheeky mare
Her husband sounds like an idiot

Oh dear, not very Christian to covet your neighbour's drive is it?

She blanks you and he says you're unChristian? Bloody nerve.

If she'd come round and asked, fair enough.

Ignore him, they're as bad as each other. Can't stand people with "One rule for us; one rule for everybody else" attitude.

sugarrice, maybe I'll be more Christian and knock on their door each Sunday at 8.30am and invite them to walk to Church with me. Or regularly knock to try and spread the gospel... just noticed....she's got a cab parked across the entrance to my drive right now! Well half way across and on the pavement. I'm at home with ill DS rather than working btw. Well at least she's not ON it (probably because my car is but hey)

The bin it is, then and see how that goes. (Have a quiet word with your 'nice' neighbours to explain that they can move it any time they wish.)

If the neighbour's DH speaks to you again I'd tell him that surely he could afford to put a front driveway in to help his wife. They sound very materialistic people and as such I don't think they would like to be told they can't afford something. Alternatively, say it is a shame they couldn't have afforded a large house with a front driveway.

I wouldn't expand and explain things. It is your driveway and that's the end of it.

They have a flaming cheek yanbu id go bonkers if it was my drive.

Get some really big heavy gates or better still the ones that you need a remote control to open that would put a stop to it.

They sound outrageously entitled. The woman hasn't had the decency to say 'hello' back to you in the past, but uses your drive to the point where she's causing a serious hazard by stopping you getting in there off a v busy road!!!

Having mentioned you've got a 1930's semi sat among a row of grand houses, I think she's a dreadful snob who blanks you because your house isn't grand and then treats your property rather like her servants entrance.

You are right to be fuming and he was talking out of his entitled arse. They will carry on with this behaviour and I suggest you put something in writing to them about what you would formally do if they continue in this manner. Not sure where would be best to ring for advice about appropriate, incisive wording of letter. It needs to be clear that despite being a Christian, you will have no hesitation to take legal action.

Any lawyers on here who could help? It's trespass obviously and then there's causing obstruction which could lead to serious accident. The police might be worth having a chat with to get a sense of what the letter should contain.

With people like these you need to draw your line in the sand because they will simply continue to use your driveway in their stupid entitled manner otherwise.

I'm fuming too on your behalf.

YADNBU - he's an arse as is she. They're taking the piss and you quite rightly shouldn't stand for it.

I'd be as obtuse as possible to the fuckers from now on and put wheelie bins or collapsible bollards on your drive to piss them off and reinforce your point.

YANBU to be annoyed at her front, but as you have to live there is there perhaps an opening here to get on better with them? I wonder if she isn't blanking you from unfriendliness, but is rather shy / bad with people. Although you were clearly within your rights to have a go for using your drive without permission, it sounds as though her DH came round because she was upset rather than because he thought she had a right.

It would be a bitter pill to swallow at this stage, but would be a lovely neighbourly gesture if you offered the use of your drive at times convenient to you. She'd certainly appreciate it you might end up of much friendlier terms with someone your likely to see most days for the next few years.

I do so love parking threads
I agree, go and set up a picnic on their nice big front lawn. They won't mind sharing, as you're both mums . Or something.

tabby - yes but remember the Mner who did just that with her NDNs (let them use her drive), then when she asked them to move so she could get into her garage, they complained at the inconvenience !

Poo in their hanging baskets, says I.

Not a good idea, Rudolph. Judging by this lot, you'd simply be upsetting the poor gardener.

As soon as you negotiate the driveway usage you've lost your driveway. I'm saying this from experience. It doesn't work. It becomes a free for all. Plus what does the op gain for the inconvenience? Absolutley nothing. It's not the op's problem that they don't have a driveway so therefore she shouldn't be made to feel like she is the nasty one.

There is no way the neighbours would put up with it if the shoe was on the other foot.

I've never sat in the front room of my house for an extended period on a working week day (ds zonked out upstairs). I'm amazed at the use my drive is getting as one of only two non-gated drives on a london a-road. I've seen a Royal Mail van use it for a delivery to a house opposite, next door park across it, a car turn in it and a take-away delivery scooter (who has that at lunch???) use it so far.

Just dragged the bin out...

I'm amazed and wondering if this is the norm, I've seen the odd few at other times, such as sainsbury deliveries but not so many. My two year old is well trained not to go past the end of the drive without me but I'm wondering if even going out the front door ahead of me is safe now. It would only take one of my kids presuming they were safe on their own drive stepping back from behind a bush or something for them to be reversed into outside on the drive. It's a fast road so it means you tend to turn in a bit faster than you might otherwise to a drive.

I may need to re-think the gate/ bollards

I have no intention of sharing my drive. Even my nice neighbours wind me up using it at night and lighting the place up, I just put up with them as it's rare and some of my guests do the same to them.

It does seem a shame to live in mutual antipathy with NDNs rather than let them use a drive to unload two small children from a taxi twice a day, but I guess everyone has their own prorities and worries.

It sounds to me like your neighbours all dislike you, must be a reason for that?
Are you a noisy obnoxious neighbour?

YANBU - there's a difference between occasional use and a 'sorry, I'll be as quick as I can' and what she and her huband have done.

Throw a bible at them next time

YANBU

Tell them to get their own drive.

Your drive is your property, there's nothing more annoying than some self entitled arse thinking your territory is there for use by all and sundry.

Re-think the bollard idea. Ghoulelocks

Voiceofthevoiceless that's rather a harsh comment to throw in.

Ghoul - their attitude stinks - sounds very much like our neighbours on one side. He's a vile bully who's offended a lot of people on our road since he and his wife moved in and he had the gall to shout at me that everyone hated me :(. Bastard. He thought nothing of blocking us in, telling visitors to park on our driveway etc and then made out I was the troublemaker for complaining.

He still makes my blood boil every time I see him, knowing what he's done (and this was just a quick sample of the nasty things he's done to us). We ignore him and his wife. We'd love to move house, just to get away from them but sadly can't do so.