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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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To not buy a poppy

492 replies

Hippymum89 · 09/11/2012 10:38

Why is it more important to remember the death of a soldier who died fighting for the country (or so he believed) than the death of every other person who has died?
What about all the others who have died helping others? Were their lives less important? Or the little old lady who died in hospital at the age of 97, she didn't kill any Germans, or rescue people. She lived her life, but doesn't that count?
I think poppys glorify war and therefore murder, so I will not be buying one.

OP posts:
MsElleTow · 10/11/2012 22:23

Why would anyone have kissed your feet?

XBenedict · 10/11/2012 22:24

Eh? Confused

topknob · 10/11/2012 22:26

I buy a poppy to say thanks to all those all gave their lives so I am now not speaking German...my 10 yr old ASD son is taking part in our Parade tomorrow, I will be so proud of him and WILL remember those who aren't here anymore, which includes both of my grandads.

LtEveDallas · 10/11/2012 22:37

Shes a 'Nurse Mentor' (I don't know what that is), but why that would have made anyone kiss her feet, I don't know.

I think she made an ill thought out and offensive OP, but didn't have the 'capacity' to further argue her point. If she had taken the time to read some of the posts, she may have learned something. She has failed to do so, so, meh, you can't educate pork.

Well my shoes are bulled, my uniform ironed, my poppy front and centre. I shall go to church tomorrow and Remember those who died, those who suffer and those who are well.

At the going down of the sun, and in the morning, we will Remember them

MsElleTow · 10/11/2012 22:45

I'm watching the Festival of Remembrance with tears in my eyes.

Almostfifty · 10/11/2012 22:47

Me too Ms, every year it gets to me.

LyingWitchInTheWardrobe2726 · 10/11/2012 22:50

Ugh, you're creepy, OP. I too think you've been avidly reading the replies on this thread. How attention-seeking you are.

I don't believe you were a soldier either. If by the slightest chance you had anything to do with the armed forces, show a little dignity and respect.

MyUmbrageIsSafeInMyKnickers · 10/11/2012 22:51

I am not British.
I'm Northern Irish Catholic..

Dead right I'll be buying a poppy. One every day.
I'm not patriotic for England or the British. In fact I am extremely partisan in my (Irish) nationalistic views (without violence).

I have seen war at short distance in my homeland. (Northern Ireland)
I have suffered very near and very personal... and I've seen many others suffer.

The army (in my view) is a home for many young men, who don't have a lot of prospects and have no-where to go. The army recruits them and turns them into cannon fodder. It keeps down the young men on the streets and it reduces unemployment amongst the most potentially criminal age group (17 - 24). Once they've got them, they've got them by the balls (metaphorically, the same applies to the young female recruits).

Governments use the forces to control the youth work force.
Where there is a world wide recession (as there is now); governments channel youth into the forces.
Simply it keeps them off the streets, when there's bugger all else in prospect... and it's a controlled cost and a budget.

They grab a prospect of a descent life in their hands. They take the Queen's shilling but they could do so much worse. They could do nothing; sit on their arses claiming un-employment benefit.

Hippymum89; I'm a really old hippy chick. I don't remember a lot of the late 60's or anything much up until about 1979.

All war is wrong and unreasonable. I knew it in 1969; and I understand it even better in 2012.
Dying is no better now then it was back then.

The army kicks people out when they've had their use of them; and they're no longer of use.
These people have little emotional or physical support subsequently.
Forget the politics or the war that they were fighting..

XBenedict · 10/11/2012 22:53

Errrrr...........I am also a nurse with the mentor qualification (ex PMRAFNS) struggling to work out why anyone would want kiss my, her or any other nurse, (mentor or otherwise) feet.

solvendie · 10/11/2012 22:59

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them
Thanks

Geoffcrapinthehead · 10/11/2012 23:00

This is a ridiculous post to be honest. Does the OP enjoy the vote, the ability to leave the country as they see fit to go on holiday to other free countries? I would imagine the answer is yes. The poppy is worn as a symbol of rememberance of ALL those who have given their lives to make this and other nations free from oppression and to give you all today the liberties and freedoms you enjoy, which clearly the OP takes for granted. War is human nature, it exists in all walks of life and has affected EVERY country at some point of its history. Whilst I, as someone who served the country and Government for 15 years, do not condone needless conflict, the fact that men and women throughout our nations history have laid down their lives to give you these freedoms is worthy of just 2 minutes a year of your respect and rememberance. If you have never known or met anybody whose life has been affected by conflict, I would imagine it is relatively easy to stand there and pretend that it is not a big deal. Let me tell you hands down, there is no love greater than somebody giving up their life to protect yours! Not a single one of those who gave their lives the or now, knew you OP or ever would, but they made this sacrifice all the same. "Lest we forget" says it all, the reason, so many choose on this day to wear a poppy with pride is to remember those who fought so that you didn't have to. God help us all if you ever got your way OP and the nation forgot the purpose of a small charitable donation once a year. I will be standing tall and proud, medals polished and displayed with the rest of the civilised folk of this nation who understand what these people have done and continue to do on a daily basis, show some pride and respect and buy a bloody poppy you tight, ungrateful sod!

LadyBeagle · 10/11/2012 23:07

I'm 56 and when I was a child we as a family always watched the Remembrance service.
Obvously I've had a life since then, but when I catch it and see the poppies falling into a sea of silence it still brings tears to my eyes.

OliviaMumsnet · 10/11/2012 23:20

Good evening everyone
Quick link to our guidelines
Thanks all

MyUmbrageIsSafeInMyKnickers · 10/11/2012 23:31

I had read the posts and had then forgotten your original post, and posted a very political tirade; so sorry OP.
May I now answer succinctly:

Why should their death be different from any other ?
One simple answer. Courage
Every time; Every Day they wake up; they have an inherent liability to die in the course of the day.

I am now married to an English Protestant. His Father, Grandfather and Great Grandfather went to war in WW1 and WW2. My relatives from these eras also joined up, but were low rank and didn't leave journals and are dead.
I have read the "war journals" of my in laws.

I live with death every day now. My blood pressure; my cholesterol. But I don't face it's very ultimate potential everyday.

I don't take off in a Bi-Plane to meet the Nazi airforce; with a 20% of return.

It's courage that is the difference. All of us die.
But the armed forces meet the potential for death everyday.
Whether you agree with the war or not.

MyUmbrageIsSafeInMyKnickers · 10/11/2012 23:57

I hope you will come back Op.
It's so very easy to "take a stance" .
I've taken many in my time, some right, some wrong
The clue is to listen, assimilate and revise (if required).
The real maturity rests in hearing/listening in the first place.
There's no shame in then revising. Absolutely none.
It's what intelligent people do all the time.

I am not for the first moment suggesting that you are immature; but the great value of this site is to give opinions. The majority in response to your post is negative. That's tough.
I hope you read through to the end.
I wish you well.

fragola · 11/11/2012 00:37

It's late, I've had a few wines, so I'm sorry if I'm not that articulate.

I?ve spent time in British legion homes with people who wear gloves to cover up that they?ve had their finger nails ripped out, with people who have had half of their faces shot off. They were young men when this happened to them, young men who had no choice but to serve their country. But they did and we benefit from that today.

From when I was a small child I put poppies on the graves of the fallen soldier in the churchyard across from my house. Very few of them were over the age of 25, most of them were under 20. It broke my heart then and it breaks my heart now. I wore a poppy then to remember their loss and I'll continue to wear one.

If you don?t want to buy a poppy, that is absolutely your choice, but no need to be smug about it.

MyUmbrageIsSafeInMyKnickers · 11/11/2012 02:10
MyUmbrageIsSafeInMyKnickers · 11/11/2012 02:18

You have to paste that link above. I think it's relevant to all. I'm not brilliant at computers

MyUmbrageIsSafeInMyKnickers · 11/11/2012 02:21
MyUmbrageIsSafeInMyKnickers · 11/11/2012 02:57

Managed the link.

It's still relevant.

The Poppy is not about Politics. It's about Men and Women that serve their country with no question.

honeytea · 11/11/2012 10:41

It's about Men and Women that serve their country with no question

It is the no question that worries me, if a child hits another child and said "I did it because bob told me to" the parent/teacher would say "you make your own decisions, don't just do what other people tell you to do" or as my mother would say "if bob told you to jump of a cliff would you?"

Alisvolatpropiis · 11/11/2012 11:35

honeytea thing is sometimes "your own decisions" and indeed,opinions can make one look a bit of a fool on occasion. Such as now.

Poppies are commemorating those who fought for their country not a statement of how fabulous war was. Surely if everyone thought wars were great,there would be no need to commemorate and pay respect to these men and women because it would have been no big deal that they had fought in a war.

ConferencePear · 11/11/2012 11:43

I will try to explain why wear my poppy.
I have researched my family history and in every generation right back to the Crimean War there are soldiers. Today, during the two-minute silence, I thought particularly about my mother's cousin and his wife. During the Second World War he somehow found himself quite badly injured in a hospital run by Belgian nuns. He pretended to be mute in order not to reveal he was British. Meanwhile, back in England, his wife had been told he was dead and was adjusting to life as a widow. They had a difficult time readjusting to reality when the war ended. Not a tale of heroism or glory just the way quite ordinary men and women were affected.
I don't think of the glory of war, or who won or lost, I just think of the many thousands of ordinary people who were caught up in it on all sides.
I wear my poppy because of the pity of it all.

WeatherWitch · 11/11/2012 12:12

OP - if you were a soldier, then I'm slightly surprised that you choose not to remember those that you served with and have fallen, because in 8 years of service it is pretty unlikely that nobody you joined up with or served with hasn't been killed or injured. Regardless of your views on war, surely they deserve two minutes of your time to pause and reflect that you walked away and they didn't?

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 11/11/2012 12:16

There's no way the OP is ex-forces. But if she is, it makes her position even harder to understand.