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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To expect money to be paid back to me that I lent to a friend?

42 replies

grrrrrrrrrrrrrr · 08/11/2012 13:44

OK bit of history, I am a sahm my dh has a good job, we have no mortgage we are not struggling but just about manage ok.

My friend is always lending money off people, this morning she wanted to lend £5 for a school trip that needed to be paid today. I said to her I have it, but she already owes me £18 from money she has lent over the past few weeks. She replied "OMG I can not believe you have been adding it up", she then went into a mini rant saying her partner has a poorly paid job, and they have a mortgage to pay, bills etc etc. Then offered to bring the money round later but the kids wont eat for the rest of the week.

AIBU to expect it back at some point. I obviously do not want her kids not eating, but I also know she gets through a packet of 10 fags a day and a bottle of wine most nights.

Appreciate peoples thoughts

OP posts:
Pagwatch · 08/11/2012 15:35

Perry
Op just keeps using lend when she means borrow.
The op keeps lending money.the friend keeps borrowing but does not pay it back.

Icelollycraving · 08/11/2012 15:39

When I read this I knew people would mention the borrow/lend thing before me.
She is unreasonable. You are not. She probably won't ask to borrow again. If she starts the nonsense about her children not eating,I'd then mention her spending priorities.

PerryCombover · 08/11/2012 15:59

Oh I see. Lend and borrow...minefield.

Let her bring the cash round as she suggested, i'm betting she won't. She's expecting you to cave in and phone saying not to bother. That's why she mentioned her starving kids.
Your only chance of getting it is if she borrows it from someone else.
Don't loan her anymore money. Get better friends

julieann42 · 08/11/2012 16:01

I would say if she needs money for food you might lend her some but tell her you have no cash but you will take her to the shop and buy it for her on Your debit card, that way she will be less inclined to spend it on crap and alcohol if she knows you can see what she is buying but you would not be unreasonable to never lend her any money again.

Whoknowswhocares · 08/11/2012 16:07

Your definition of a 'friend' and mine are clearly very different! No real friend worth having would stoop to this sort of behaviour. Cheeky money grabbing mare!

I suggest you write off the money and find yourself a proper friend

HecatePropylaea · 08/11/2012 17:34

Well, she clearly had no intention of paying it back when she borrowed it. Otherwise she wouldn't be incredulous that you were keeping track of what you had loaned to her.

I suggest you don't lend her any more money, and are clear when she asks to borrow more that it's just not happening.

ENormaSnob · 08/11/2012 17:41

I would no longer be friends with someone who thought this ok.

Scrounging cow.

ImperialBlether · 08/11/2012 19:35

Did she actually say, "OMG"? Double interest for that.

Vengenc · 15/02/2019 15:25

Lending a friend money...

So I lent out £50 to a friend who is going through financial issues... The money was due back a week ago, when the 'social' sorted their 'claim' out. I work very hard for minimum wage, full time, in the Care Sector. These people in question have been on the Social for as long as I can remember, and don't seem to have much interest in finding employment. The only employment they will participate in is 'fiddle' work. Should I ask for what is mine back, the response towards me is that I am in the wrong for asking for what is mine back.
Has anyone else had this sort of problem? And how did you resolve it? Seems to me like people who have been on the Social have absolutely no value for money, and have the warped mindset that 'if you work, you should be able to simply gift the money' I want my money back, and determined to get it also!!

youknowmedontyou · 15/02/2019 15:28

Your friend doesn't lend money she borrows it!

You lend it to her.

YABU just say no.

Sukochicha · 15/02/2019 16:02

Neither a lender nor a borrower be

AndBabyMakes3 · 15/02/2019 17:05

ZOMBIE THREAD

@Vengenc you would be better off starting your own thread as most people will reply to the OP

RoboticSealpup · 15/02/2019 17:35

Never lend money you can't afford to lose. People forget easily when they've borrowed...

RoboticSealpup · 15/02/2019 17:36

Oops, don't feed the zombie!

Chloemol · 15/02/2019 20:19

From your post are you saying she has borrowed money from you! Ie you have lent to her? She has not lent from anyone?

Vengenc · 15/02/2019 23:39

I'm sorry if I am deemed as a Zombie... U did try to create my own post, but ended up connecting onto an old thread! Smile

dartitus · 15/02/2019 23:59

Can not stand people who moan that they’re skint but can afford cigarettes

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