to tell people we aren't doing presents this year?

[Fancydrawers]

We cannot afford to buy presents for everyone, as we are going on holiday later this month. Plus I really resent buying for people I can't stand

Would I BU to tell everyone we aren't giving presents and risk the fallout, or should I grin and bear it, and buy anyway? The only people we are going to buy for will be my parents (as we are v close to them and spending Christmas with them) and each other.

Good for you OP.

It's not only expensive, but pointless.

we I have declared that this year we will buy for the children in the family as usual. But adults on my side a £5 token gift. DH has yet to discuss this with his DPs and Dsis.

I just can't see the point in buying DM a jumper. Thenshe buys me a jumper. We would both rather go and choose our own jumpers in reality.

Also end up with lots of 'stuff' . I hate having 'stuff' around. If I want a nice bubble bath I will go out and buy some. I wil not buy a pack of seven miniature bubble baths, which then clutter up the bathroom for months on end.

And when all the GPs ask what the DC want I will tell them to ask them themselves, or just bung some cash in a card.

Most years I end up buying all the gifts from GP for our DC and then clawing hte money back. BahHumbug indeed!

Last year we did: every adult buys for every other adult we are seeing on the day and spends no more than a fiver on each person. What's not to like about a fiver's worth of presents? I was chuffed to bits with a) some of the things I received and b) had real fun buying - it's amazing what you can find when you're trying to be cheap! The kids got their usual budget spent on them; it was only done so the adults could have a laugh.

I think it is easier to buy cheap presents than to make a "no-present" announcement. It would be quite hard for one of your inlaws to complain about the value of a present to your face, whereas the absence of a present might provoke a comment. So buy them all something.

Just buy token tiny presents when on holiday, or simple not-too-expensive presents when back at home (things costing a fiver, like a bottle of wine, a box of chocs, a book etc).

We are totally skint too and just buying (modest) presents for the few children in the family. I don't think it matters the reason why you can't afford it, it seems silly to load yourself with debt just for the sake of it.

We will aim to do 'creative' presents for the adults, which can include baking, knitting, crafts etc. anything which doesn't cost much. One idea I have pinched is to give a cake/ cookie mix in a nice jar with instructions on how to make (excluding any eggs, butter or milk obviously). Another idea could be photo collage in a small clip frame of special moments.

I don't see anything wrong with that, but do it quickly. I made the same phone call to my parents this morning and they were just about to go christmas shopping.
We said we weren't buying presents for anyone but the kids in the family this year and please not to buy us anything as there is nothing we need (big fat lie!). They thought it was very sensible as they realise we're in a sticky financial situation.

We really only do Christmas presents for our three DCs, DiL and 2 grandchildren. For everyone else we stick to birthdays.

We only buy for our children and nephews and nieces rather than brothers, sisters or parents. We don't bother buying presents for friends children either, nor friends. DH and I don't buy presents for each other either. We're very stingy!!

We cannot afford to spend lots on Christmas, but I couldn't not buy a present for our nieces and nephews. I would rather buy all my clothes for the year from charity shops, than not get them a present.

gutzgutz, I love the cake/cookie mix! Last year a friend made me a hot choc mix..real cocoa mixed with sugar, a tiny bag of mini marshmallows on top.one of those hand dipped chocolate spoons tied with a ribbon on the side. She also included a pretty cup, which she told me later was picked up from charity shop..
I was thrilled with her gift..

Like I said, I really don't mind buying for the children. It's just that I don't buy for my siblings so I don't see why I should buy for his, it feels a bit unfair. (That is an agreement I have with my siblings, by the way - I don't let them buy for me and then just not give back!)

Spend your money on whatever you like.

I was taught you don't give to receive.

I don't expect presents every year from particular relatives. Sometimes they get them and sometimes they don't.

All this expecting presents is bloody rude in my book

gutzgutz Just the flour then ?

Mspontipine, I believe you layer all dry ingredients in jar..I wish I could post a link for you..

What about offering to do a secret santa?

Possibly a bit late to do it now but I am all for getting out of obligatory present buying at Christmas. I think you should be able to start phasing it out this year. I wouldn't do it as a one-off because you are going on holiday though.
I now only buy for my dad and my son. DH and I usually don't bother. DH now buys for his parents and I stopped with everyone else over a few years. I still buy birthday gifts for some children and a couple of friends but not christmas presents. I even stopped with SIL's children as the gifts weren't even acknowledged - not even a text from SIL (after posting 3 gifts) for years in a row. I now buy them pressies whenever I see them or give them some pocket money instead.
Stopping for me had very little to do with money. It was all about startiing to resent the whole thing and thinking it had just become silly.

the only adults i buy xmas presants for are the ones i gace birth to and my best friend, i only buy for her because she has no family and her kids are not big enough to go shopping (i do also help them make her something from them)

Once we all had kids, we stopped buying presents for our siblings, just for the children, with a limit of £15. The secret santa idea sounds good for a family with alot of adults.

YANBU - however, I'm very bah humbug about Christmas.

When I split up with my ExH, one of the huge advantages was that I no longer had the responsibility of buying presents for extended family on his side, even though we only bought for children, but that was still loads.

Now, I buy for my DCs, one nephew and my parents - easy, peasy! Oh, and I only send a handful of essential cards as well (I would do none if I could get away with it, tbh).

My (very large) familly stopped buying for adults about 30 years ago and just bought small presents for the under 18s. It's great, takes pressure off those who are strapped for cash and our Christmas is about spending time with those we love rather than stressing about shopping for stuff that's not really needed or wanted. I would stick to my guns if I were you OP, you never know, it might be a relief for some people not to have to buy in return.

I do think that if I celebrated Christmas then we would do a secret santa type thing with a theme and only buy presents for children.
There are 21 in my extended family plus 8 abroad plus DH and 2 boys.

Way too much!

The OP hasn't actually said its an expensive holiday, just its a holiday. It might be her only holiday of the year and I think telling her she is mean for going on it rather than buying a load of people presents is a bit unfair. I would hate to think that someone had not gone on holiday because they couldn't afford to do that and buy me a present.

Sorry, just realised there were two more pages I hadn't read, doh! Sorry if I'm just repeating something people have already said, or if the topic has moved on, as you were..

I agree Twitchy.

Just spend money on a lovely meal with family.

No tat, tree or presents.