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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want DC to go on a two night outward bounds trip with infant school?

84 replies

badtasteflump · 07/11/2012 10:07

Not there yet, it will be in the next school year when the children are 6.

It's a two night/three day trip, about 30 miles from home to an outward bounds centre where they will be doing activities such as canoeing, climbing and orienteering.

When I first heard about it my first thought was that my DC would not be happy being away that long at 6 - having only spend one night away at a time, and then always to a family members' house. But now I've heard what the activities are, I'm quite Shock. Am I being precious or is six a bit young for that kind of trip?

OP posts:
Summerblaze · 07/11/2012 13:57

Clicked too early.

I would think it depends on the child so I would have sent DD and not DS.

Remotecontrolduck · 07/11/2012 14:38

That is ridiculous. I'm not over protective at all, but 6 years old is far too young for this kind of trip.

Been said above though, are you sure it isn't year 6?

itsatrap · 07/11/2012 14:44

There seems to be a split between those that say they wouldn't and those that have, and the ones that have loved it. Do you know any parents from the school who's dcs have been on the trip that you could talk to and find out their experiences?

halcyondays · 07/11/2012 14:48

Yanbu, 6 seems a bit young for an overnight school trip.

lurkedtoolong · 07/11/2012 14:55

We took a 6 (days off 7) year old brownie on a PGL trip - she was desperate to go because her big sister and friends were all going. Her mum was understandably very worried. As it happens she was one of the more gung-ho participants and really threw herself into every task.

I did though make a point of sending her mum a couple of text messages just to let her know everything was ok - perhaps see if someone would be prepared to do this for you? It really did only take a couple of minutes a day to send them.

We were also only 30 minutes away from home so if anything had gone wrong her parents could have been with her very quickly. How far away is this outbound course?

Floggingmolly · 07/11/2012 14:55

If some of the children are 7... Brownies do adventure weekends at this age, some absolutely love it and some are not ready for it at all. It is a choice, though.

lurkedtoolong · 07/11/2012 14:56

Oops - just spotted that you are only 30 miles from the venue. Do you drive/have access to a car if needed straight away?

Gubbins · 07/11/2012 15:28

Eldest daughter (yr 3) is going on a four night trip next term. No canoeing, though. I'm very excited for her and have no qualms about her going. However, I've already started worrying about her sister going next year. Although only 1 academic year below, she is 2 years younger, and will be a young-for-her-age 7 at the time. It really does depend on the child.

That said, two years ago I would have never thought the elder would be up for it, but she has been longing for the trip for about a year now

fossil97 · 07/11/2012 15:39

If the infant school is separate, is it a kind of "leaving" treat for the YR 2's at the end of the summer term, when most of them will be already 7? They will probably be fine by then, very secure in their year group and with teacher, only a few weeks away from Junior School.

I have yet to see a post from a parent whose child (of any age) has been on one of those trips and hated it/ they regretted letting them go? If you are really sure that your child could not handle it, you could always excuse them from the trip. Definitely no point worrying a year in advance.

Blu · 07/11/2012 15:47

Is it German schools that consider it normal to be sending children even younger than this on lengthy residentials, and parents are all happy with it?

I would have loved it when I was 6 and been very happy to be away from home, and especially happy to do thise activities.

DS had had experiecne of outward bound activities by 6 and loved it, but would have been daunted by two nights away, I think. Though one would have been OK. He went to cub camp at 8.

In principle I think it is great if children can be supported and encouraged to do something as adventurous as this - but not if it would make them unhappy.

LibrarianByDay · 07/11/2012 15:58

YAB a little U and slightly precious. If you're not happy don't send your kids. For some children though, it is a wonderful experience that they very much enjoy.

CaptainVonTrapp · 07/11/2012 16:05

YANBU. I wouldn't send mine. And I wouldn't feel the need to try and 'get her used to the idea' or similar. I think there's plenty of time for that in the future and I'd hope the first away trip with school will be just for a night.

seeker · 07/11/2012 16:44

Not even if they wanted to go?

confuugled · 07/11/2012 17:37

I wouldn't have been happy sending ds1 on a trip last year when he was in Y2. Still not sure I would be happy sending him on a trip this year, and I think his new school do them for each year, so am really not looking forward to it, but guess I will go and find out all about it before deciding. Whilst I will be going with an open mind, they will have to persuade me that it is appropriate and safe etc etc and then I will let ds1 go rather than go to the meeting assuming that he will be going and only stop him from going if I hear something I don't like IYSWIM. At such a young age, the water side of things would seriously worry me.

OP what would your son do if you said he couldn't go - would he stay at school or be expected to stay at home? And of your/his friends in his class/year, how many do you reckon will want to go vs stay?

Oblomov · 07/11/2012 17:46

I don't think 6 is too young. I went away at 6 and loved it. I bet my ds1 would have, and I bet my ds2 would.
As seeker says, it makes me sad to see such a blanket ban of PARENTS who are that bothered by it.

NulliusInBlurba · 07/11/2012 18:36

"Is it German schools that consider it normal to be sending children even younger than this on lengthy residentials, and parents are all happy with it?"
Absolutely, Blu, DD1 went on a 4-night trip with her nursery when she was 4 - in fact every child in the nursery of 4 and over went. Yes, it was a bit tough, especially for those of us saying goodbye to our PFbs, but we all coped, and more importantly, the kids all loved it. The only child who had even a bit of a problem with homesickness was the one whose mum had fussed and indoctrinated her kid into the 'it'll be too much for you' propaganda, so of course that kid then reacted as she had been told to expect - self-fulfilling prophecy, really.

DD2 went to a different nursery, where they had several overnights in the nursery itself for a mixed group of kids between 2.6 and 6. Again, all the children loved it.

If parents act neurotically then kids will pick up on that. If parents have a more laid-back attitude of 'we'll miss you but you'll have loads of fun with your friends' then the vast majority of DC will find it an enriching experience, even at the tender age of 6.

However, it's by no means the case that DC are perpetually being sent away from parents when they're too young to know what's going on. The majority of school trips happen with DC of 9 or over.

One more thing - school trips (unlike nursery trips) are regarded an an essential part of compulsory education ( and remember there is no home schooling in Germany). It's good for getting the class to work together as a team and for encouraging DC's independence. Any parents who can't afford the trip get subsidies from the local authority, meaning that unemployed families etc would have the entire trip paid for them. This means there is no financial reason for not going. If parents decide not to allow their children to go, however, nobody will take it any further, although the children will certainly end up feeling excluded from the experience.

SchrodingersSexKitten · 07/11/2012 19:07

Just. Say. No.

foreverondiet · 07/11/2012 19:12

Depends on the child. DS1 in year 2 would love although would be slightly anxious about his friends seeing his pull-up night nappies Shock. My friend DSs have gone to beaver camp from age 5.5 and have loved it.

DD however in year 4 would have been aghast at the thought 2 years ago.

LiegeAndLief · 07/11/2012 19:34

My ds is an August birthday, currently in Y2 (so will be 6 all the way through) and I think he would be very anxious about a trip like this. He has never stayed without me or dh overnight (because the opportunity has never arisen rather than us preventing it) and he's very shy - after half a term he is still finding it difficult to talk to his new teacher.

I think it's a bit unfair to say any parent who is wary of sending their child away for two nights age 6 is holding them back or being precious. I would love ds to be a bit more outgoing and not so crippled by shyness as I can see it making his life difficult. Sadly not all children will be chomping at the bit to go away at this age, no matter how enthusiatic the parent is.

lovebunny · 07/11/2012 20:36

just say no.
all this 'your children have to be away from you' rubbish that's spouted on mumsnet gets on my nerves.

WelshMaenad · 07/11/2012 20:44

I was going on week long horse riding residentials at 7.

I disagree that the activities are unsuitable. Dd (6) is physically disabled and has been climbing from age 3. She has tried kayaking and goes orienteering and wild camping with her dad most weeks in the spring and summer.

They will absolutely love it.

mamamibbo · 07/11/2012 20:54

i wouldnt at 6, my nearly 11 year old is going on his first weekend away on january

HanSolo · 07/11/2012 21:02

My 6yo would struggle with this... though not as much as the teachers would- she doesn't sleep much... and when she does, she mumbles, shouts, and screams in her sleep, plus sleepwalking every now and again- might not be fun for the rest of the class! (the screaming can be heard a street away in summer when the windows are open)

shellyf · 07/11/2012 21:04

We only take Year 5 and 6.

CaptainVonTrapp · 08/11/2012 18:47

No, at this age I wouldn't send her even if she wanted to go.

I make lots of decisions in her best interest at this age regardless of her feelings and would have no problem doing so in this case. (on issues such as bedtime, if the tv can go on, how many after school activities you can do a week before someone asks)