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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To not want DC to go on a two night outward bounds trip with infant school?

84 replies

badtasteflump · 07/11/2012 10:07

Not there yet, it will be in the next school year when the children are 6.

It's a two night/three day trip, about 30 miles from home to an outward bounds centre where they will be doing activities such as canoeing, climbing and orienteering.

When I first heard about it my first thought was that my DC would not be happy being away that long at 6 - having only spend one night away at a time, and then always to a family members' house. But now I've heard what the activities are, I'm quite . Am I being precious or is six a bit young for that kind of trip?

OP posts:

KenLeeeeeee · 07/11/2012 11:19

DS1 is going on a similar trip next July (he will be 8) and I am fretting about feeling HE is too young for that, so YANBU about a 6 year old doing it.

Original poster

badtasteflump · 07/11/2012 11:20

Yes they've been doing the trip for a few years now apparently. There will be a meeting in the new year for the parents to find out more and ask questions about it - so I don't know many details yet. But my gut feeling is definitely 'no'.

Doesn't help that my DC is quite clingy with me still (probably my fault, PLB syndrome, etc...).

OP posts:

SooticaTheWitchesCat · 07/11/2012 11:25

YANBU there is no way I would let my DD do an overnight trip at 6, she would just not be ready for it and I think outward bounds is too grown up for 6 year olds anyway.

My older DD s going on a 2 day outward bounds trip next year but she is in Year 4 and will be 9 by the time they go, even then I am a bit worried but she will love it though.

If it was me I wouldn't be sending my 6 year old on the trip.

seeker · 07/11/2012 11:30

The "no way" people- are you saying "no way" generally, or for your own particular child? If generally, why?

MrsEricBana · 07/11/2012 11:31

Our school did this in year 2, so age 6-7. It was to an activity place in Bruton and involved similar things. They all absolutely loved it from an activity perspective and the only problems experienced were with homesickness at night rather than any of the actvities. My ds was very tearful the first night but fine then second, and dd was fine when she did it. What made me certain it was unnecessarily young though was that a few parents including me had to send a spare sleeping bag in case the first became wet (from bedwetting) and they all went off clutching their teddies. It seemd to be a rite of passage before they moved up to the junior school - there they are away Mon-Fri in the first week of July every year from year 3, and in year 5 they go to France, which involved a 6 or 7 hr ferry ride. Nearly all went on that too, though personally I think that is a very tall order for 9-10 year olds.

parachutesarefab · 07/11/2012 11:57

Our school take the kids away for 2 nights in Year 2, and have been doing so for years. Not outward bound; mix of indoor activities and swimming, a walk, campfire and adventure playground.

Most children go - only around a dozen choose not to, out of 60. Staff cope discreetly with any bedwetting. A few get a little homesick at bedtime, but I've never heard of anyone not liking it. DD3 goes this year and can't wait. DD1 and DD2 loved it.

CMOTDibbler · 07/11/2012 12:07

DS is in y2, and will go away with school overnight to an outdoor centre this year - and he has only slept away from dh or I a handful of times (5 nights max in his life).
He's looking forward to it greatly, and I know its staffed heavily, so I'm totally happy with it

VladIIIDracula · 07/11/2012 12:17

The 2 nights wouldn't bother me or I suspect DD. She's 5 and has stayed away from home for longer (with grandparents).

The activities would bother me though. Mainly because there is no way you'd get DD doing some of that stuff with out a big fuss, she'd be terrified in a canoe for instance. Yes I know that makes her a big wuss, but physical activities are not her forte, especially those with an element of danger

Alliwantisaroomsomewhere · 07/11/2012 12:19

DS is going when he is 9. I doubt he will be ready by then.

I reckon 6 is WAY to young. I would HATE to be one of the adults going on that trip!!!

issiri · 07/11/2012 12:20

No way would I allow a six year old on that trip. Hell I'd be having issues over a 12 year old!

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 07/11/2012 12:25

You'd have issues with a 12yo, issi? Please tell me you're joking!

It does seem quite young, certainly younger than ds first went away. But I bet they'll have a blast. I'd have let ds go. y the time they're in Y2 they know and are known by the teachers, and their friends.

Mrsjay · 07/11/2012 12:27

you could always wait for the parents meeting going in with the initial no way and then decide perhaps you will feel different I am assuming it will be in the summer time and he might enjoy it,

nokidshere · 07/11/2012 13:14

Our primary school does trips from yr3 upwards - starting at one night, then two nights etc but all containing some or all of the activities you have mentioned.

When I first heard about them I was very concerned and completely sure that neither of my two boys would want to be away from mummy for so long lol

I checked out the centres safety records, made sure the school had everythign sorted re risk assessing etc, talked to my children. They went and they loved it - by the time they went on the week long one in yr6 they were so excited they nearly burst!

Its not too young, everything will be age appropriate and the school will have used the same place for many years (in our school some of the teachers had been on the same trip when they were small).

But getting your head round it as a parent is much, much harder!

If your child wants to go I would let them - its a fantastic learning opportunity for them and their confidence gets a massive boost.

messtins · 07/11/2012 13:14

I think 6 is too young. Our school do a similar trip in YEAR 6 and I think that's about right for staying away from home for several days/nights.

shuffleballchange · 07/11/2012 13:26

DS1 went on a 2 night trip like this last year, he had just turned 7 the weekend before. He had the best time, they did canoeing, crate stacking, climbing and much more. He was filthy and shattered when we picked him up but full of the tales of his adventure. Please let your DC go, they will have the time of their life!

seeker · 07/11/2012 13:27

Why the blanket "too young"? Is it because the parents can't cope with the idea?

Original poster

badtasteflump · 07/11/2012 13:32

Yes probably is seeker . At least partly....

OP posts:

5Foot5 · 07/11/2012 13:33

I also think 6 sounds a bit young and my DD wasn't a particularly clingy child and was used to staying away at grandparents for a few nights at that age. When she was 7 she had 2 nights away with Brownies and loved it. The school didn't start doing nights away until Y4.

The sort of activities you mention they also did on a Y6 trip where they were away for 4 nights.

seeker · 07/11/2012 13:39

Can I be very patronising? I have older children, and my PFB found staying away from home incredibly difficult. Looking back on it, I realise that I was secretly relieved, and really didn't do much to help her overcome it. The was that she was 13 before she could happily stay away from home, and she missed out on soooooooooooooooo much! She still remembers how awful it was to go into school after all her friends had been on a trip or a sleepover. And how awful it felt to be at home knowing that all her friends were in Disneyland Paris (one particulqrly memorqble occasion)It's one of my biggest regrets- I'm sure if I had encouraged her she could have done it. So be brave. Let them go. That's what they are programmed to do!

ClippedPhoenix · 07/11/2012 13:42

I remember my DS going on a weekend trip with Scouts, he was about 7.

Well, the coach took ages to leave, son was sobbing and palming the window whilst mouthing how much he loved me and didn't want to leave (he was going with at least 3 friends he'd known practically from birth).

It was totally traumatic. Friend stopped me from barging on coach and taking son off. I also nearly drove to the retreat to claim sobbing bereft son back, after a very very tearful night myself.

On the Sunday when I went to collect him he had the biggest smile on his face and said the trip had been FANTASTIC!

valiumredhead · 07/11/2012 13:42

I think 8 - 9 ish is the time to start pushing a bit like seeker suggests, still think 6 is way to young.

valiumredhead · 07/11/2012 13:43

For organised trips I mean - we did sleep overs very young, 5 - 6 ish iirc.

poshfrock · 07/11/2012 13:44

At my daughter's school they do a residential every year from Y3 - so in Y3 they have one night away, and then 2 nights in Y4 and so on.

She is in Y4 and going away in April to an outdoor activity centre to do kayaking and abseiling etc. She is very excited and can't wait. She has previously been on Brownie trips for 2 nights and it's never been a problem but then she's been used to going to GP's and cousins' homes for up to a week in the hols ( without us) since the age of about 4 so this isn't really a big stretch.

fossil97 · 07/11/2012 13:45

Our schools does a trip like this starting with Yr 3/4 for one night away so the littlest (like DS) are just 7. The yr 5/6 go for 4 nights. Every year there are a few parents worrying about it but the children have a ball and the staff have it very well organised and are used to doing it. I've never heard of a child not enjoying the trip. Our DC are used to occasional sleepovers with grandparents/cousins so it's not as if they've never been away.

The OP's situation is a bit younger and an extra night so a bit borderline IMO, but I would judge it on whether the school have done it before and experience of parents of older children. Those places are very safe, they won't be chucked in a canoe and sent down a slalom course.

Summerblaze · 07/11/2012 13:52

I would think that in Year 3/4 would be better although I could have send DD at 6 and she would have loved it. She is very independent, doesn't mind spending time away from home and was grown up for her age. DS is only in reception and is developmentally delayed. I assume by the time he is 6 he still wouldn't be able to handle a trip like that and I'm sure others wouldn't be either. Hell, some of the kids in DD's class were still crying at drop off in year 2.

Our school does this but for Year 6. I have never heard of it being done for younger classes

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