to ignore possibly racist remarks

[frogspoon]

I am currently privately tutoring a year 11 girl in mathematics.

Over the past couple of weeks I have noticed a couple of comments she has made could be considered slightly racist. A week ago she asked me about some of the other students that I taught. When I mentioned that they attended the local Jewish school, she muttered "Oh, Jews" in a negative tone (it was not what she said, but the tone in which she said it). This week we were going through some maths questions, where one contained a foreign sounding name. She made the comment "What kind of name is .....?" I replied jokingly that the book was being politically correct, to which she agreed that it was an "ethnically diverse" book in a sarcastic tone, and made air quotes.

I am a little surprised as this girl attends a relatively diverse school with a significant number of pupils from ethnic minorities. In addition she is partly Spanish, therefore has family from a different culture and speak a different language.

Am I right to be concerned, or am I just too politically correct? Was I wrong to joke that the book was politically correct? I am concerned that if I say nothing her remarks may become more overtly racist. As a tutor, who only sees her once a week, is it my place to say anything at all?

You can't go back in time and correct your response. What you can do is to let her know that you don't like it if she does anything again. She is too old for her thoughts to be policed but if someone stamps down on what she says she will be more thoughtful in the future. Just a curt "that is not appropriate" should be enough. Although why did you make her think you agreed with her - in that pc statement you are condoning racism.

mummyonvalium agree with you that is was the wrong thing to say, I was caught out and I panicked.

But what's said is said, how should I move on from here?

Wow im rather amazed at the responses here TBH!

So because you are being paid to tutor her, you have to put up with her bigotry? really

But if she finds Jewish people and foreign people irritating, that's kind of her business really

Is it? it becomes the OPs business when she vocalises her irritation IMO.

She is most definitely old enough to know she is being an arse, its not like its a 5 year old repeating what her parents say.

I would call her on it with bells on.

I wuld not say anything, unless she was being overly racist, but she was not

Amber she doesn't have to put up with it, no.

As much as I can't stand bigots, if she uses a 'tone' when saying "Oh, Jews" and joins in with the OP's sarcasm after asking about the foreign name, she's perfectly entitled to do that.

The OP is perfectly entitled not to like hearing the tone and seeing sarcastic air quotes.

That's when she can either choose to discuss it with the girl/her mother and risk being told to stop Policing thoughts, or she can choose to stop tutoring her.

There's very little you can do unless she says something unequivocally racist (along the lines of "black people are all criminals") in which case a short "I'm sure you know that's not true" should put her in her place. Anything less than that I would simply change the subject and not react. She'll soon pick up on the fact that you are not interested in hearing her bigoted views.

You are much too PC. Leave it alone and stop over analyzing everything a 11 year old says. Teach maths.

She's year 11

I'd say you are perfectly within your rights to ask her to refrain from any racist overtones or comments. Anything beyond that, including your opinon on what is or is not politically correct, is not your remit. And really, you know, there's no need for you to PANIC. Maybe she just needs gently correcting not hung up and quartered at dawn in the town square.

Hope that the lessons go smoothly and maybe she will have picked up that you weren't comfortable with her comments. Not nice to be teaching in a difficult atmosphere - but no need to make a thing of it.

Is a student making inappropriate comments about Jews not my business? Well actually...

I am Jewish. The girl does not know.

Most bigoted people would not make covert racist comment around a person who is not white. They would instead wait until they are out of the room. But being Jewish is alot less obvious, and on several occasions I have heard people around me talking about "the Jews" with absolutely no idea that a Jewish person is standing right next to them.

The point I'm making is this...

She said "Oh Jews" in a 'negative tone'.

She obviously (for whatever reason) isn't keen on Jewish people.

There's no law that says she has to be keen on them...but there's also no law that says you have to tutor her and put up with her negativity.

If her negative tone upset you, you should have pulled her up about it but you chose not to and that's your right.

I can only advise that if there's a next time, pull her up on it...but don't 'join in' and make disparaging remarks about foreign names being 'politically correct'...because that kind of gives her a 'green light' IYSWIM.

Around 47% of the kids in my DS's school are foreign, and believe me there is nothing PC about including their names in a maths question.

But how does she know she dislikes all Jewish people? She doesn't dislike me. Perhaps if she knew I were Jewish, she would.

Oh. I must be missing something here. Apologies. Where exactly did she say she dislikes Jewish people?

I think it's really a shame that a Year 11 child can say "oh Jews" like that. FFS! I genuinely don't get how anti-semitism persists in this day and age, and particularly not in a child. Not pulling people up on that kind of stuff, regardless of them paying you, their parents being in earshot just allows it to continue. Obviously her parents have been spouting some crap which makes her think she's got any point there.

As for "oh, the book is politically correct". Um YEAH. That's because we live in an ethnically diverse country and maybe it's nice, from time to time, for children from ethnic backgrounds to see names in books that reflect their reality. Representation of ethnic minorities throughout public life is pathetic as it is and I'm glad to hear that school books are beginning to reflect the realities of some students' lives. Where I live, some schools are over 80% non-White English. Is that political correctness? No, it's just reality.

You just need to bat it back. 'What kind of name is that?' 'the name of the person in the book. Now, how would you solve the problem?'

'Oh Jews'. 'Oh Jews like me, do you mean? (freezing glance would be good here). Now let's look at page 12.' if you're not comfortable with that, a freezing 'and what exactly do you mean by that?' would also work.

You're her tutor so I don't think you need to get into it with her or her parent, but I also don't think you need to suck it up or minimise it either. Some teenagers are racist, but often it's 'trying out' attitudes. It is up to adults to ensure these atttitudes don't 'stick' IMO.

But how does she know she dislikes all Jewish people? She doesn't dislike me. Perhaps if she knew I were Jewish, she would.

I have no idea

But I don't see what you can 'do' about a mildly racist/anti Semitic tone...other than stop teaching her or think more carefully about your own language so as not to encourage her.

BadgersBottom, From original post:
A week ago she asked me about some of the other students that I taught. When I mentioned that they attended the local Jewish school, she muttered "Oh, Jews" in a negative tone (it was not what she said, but the tone in which she said it).

It was the end of the lesson just as we were packing up, I'd mentioned I'd had a long day, with a full day of teaching and an evening of tutoring. She happened to ask in passing about the students I had tutored just before arriving, and which school they went to.

I do see how ignoring comments, as I have done in the past allows bigotry to continue, but it is not something I feel comfortable discussing.

If you don't feel comfortable discussing it, you only have two options.

Stop tutoring her or ignore it and get on with the maths.

Sorry to sound blunt, but that's about it really isn't it?

frogspoon, ISWYM to be a bit put out....
But you kind of wlked into it by saying the book was 'politically correct' - and tbh I think that could be seen as a rather strange POV - i.e. the idea that 'foreign sounding' names would only be included because the author was being 'PC'
Could it not in the 21st century be that 'foreign sounding' (non-Anglo Saxon?) names are included just... because... why shouldn't they be?

Perhaps your pupil's eye roll was at the silly angsty-ness of it all.

Are you sure her 'Oh, Jewish' was negative about Jews?
Do you think she'd have had the same response about any other sort of faith school?

oh FFS!

Something I said, MrsShit?

I agree with Amberleaf and WilsonFrickett - she should be pulled up on this and she needs to learn to respect other people. A short reply about inappropriate comments and pointing out that you are Jewish might just embarrass her enough to teach her that she cannot spout prejudiced or offensive views whenever she feels like it in future, and it will also hopefully nip it in the bud.

no not you mango.