About calling my mum when I give birth?

[honeytea]

I think I probably am BU, or at least over reacting.

I'm due to give birth in 4 weeks me and my DP have asked our parents if they want to know when we go into hospital and when the baby is born, PIL want to know as soon as we go into hospital as they are going to drive down to be with us as soon as I'm in labour, it's an 1000 km journy so it's likely they will get to us just after the baby is born. I asked my mum if we should call her to let her know we were going into hospital and when the baby is born even if it is the middle of the night, she wasn't too kean on us calling in the night time, she said we could call the day after when they are awake, I think she realised I was a little upset that she didn't want to know news asap and she said oh you will be too busy to call us once the baby is born, call after 7 AM. I don't expect my mum to come and visit us as soon as the baby is born, we live in another country, she is coming to us for christmas which is very kind of her.

I just feel really sad that no one will be thinking about me whilst I'm in labour, I couldn't imagine not wanting to know if my grown up child was going through labour, and I'd want to know asap if I had a grandchild. I'm getting so upset about it.

Is it normal to call as soon as the baby is born? what have other families done?

The other issue is my DP is talkingabout how he is looking forward to putting a photo of our new baby on facebook and how proud he will be, I don't have an issue with this at all but I'd feel so sad if random people that I went to primary school/worked for the summer/met whilst traveling see our baby before my family.

I really hope I feel like this because of pregnancy hormones, I'm sobbing and feel so silly.

Oh golly...I really didn't want anyone knowing I was in labour! My parents only found out 4hrs after birth.

We were 1500 miles away from parents when my DS was born 4 years ago. When I went into labour at night, 1 week before my due date, I didn't even consider letting them know. There was no point. They were all booked on flights in the following week to come down and visit their new grandchild.

And in my case, my parents and MIL are all massive worry-warts and I honestly did not want to have worry myself about updating them through the ordeal. It was a long, drawn-out labour ending in an EMCS. It was much nicer just ringing them all the next morning (well, DH did b/c I was recovering from general anesthesia) with the happy news.

I know it's hard to be away from family during such a special time in your life, but it won't matter much in the end who-called-who-and-when when you're blissed out with a cuddly newborn.

I don't want people to know until baby is born as mil turned up when iwas in labour with dc1 and came into the delivery room.

I think it's a bit odd that you are upset that people wont be thinking about you when you're in labour, I'd much rather my friends and family not be worrying about me.

I've already told people that they wont hear from us until the baby is here, I don't see the point in stressing them out when there's nothing they can do, I hate the thought of people I care about pacing around and jumping everytime the phone rings.

Plus I don't want my husband to be worried about having to answer the texts/calls from people wanting updates.

It's nice to hear everyone's experiences, I feel much better knowing it's not unheard of for mothers not to want to know the details ASAP.

If he goes overdue by 2 weeks they will have ti know as we are supposed to be collecting them from the airport the day I would be induced!

DD is pregnant 1st GC

She lives 200miles away. She knows l want to know the minute she goes into labour, she wants me there ASAP, may not make it for the birth although work do know l will drop every thing and go the minute l get the call.

I didn't call anyone when I got to hospital because I didn't see a point to it.

My parents would just worry the whole time, but obviously not being able to do anything.
My ILs wouldn't be too bothered (5th grandchild).

As it turned out, my parents ended up worrying anyway because my mum phoned me while in hospital. They were still spared about 6 hours of worry, but had to worry another 6 hours or so until DS was out.

Which is another point about not telling anyone. I was 12 hours in hospital before DS was out! I'm sure it's just stressful for anyone waiting at home for news.

Also, about FB. My neighbour saw my son before my parents. They traveled a week later and he happened to see us when we got home.
Before the ILs too, but as I said they were less bothered. It didn't upset me, btw.
And FB is just a picture. Surely your DP can send them a photo before anyone else, if that's a problem?
Or restrict the photos on FB to family and close friends?

i certainly didn't tell anyone other than my husband and the medics that i was in labour. tmi. i phoned my parents about half an hour after i'd given birth.

when my daughter had a baby she employed the same principle but she has said she'll let me be nearby if she goes through labour again, as she came 'within two to three minutes of death' and it is absolutely horrific to travel to the hospital not knowing if your baby will be alive when you get there.

Perhaps your mum's a little bit insensitive to your feelings sometimes.
As a mother, I would want to know straight away night or day. However, some would think in more 'practical' terms like your mother.
I hope all goes well x

Oh honeytea, your mum does not sound disinterested - just a bit practical.

I was very emotional when pregnant and told my mum who lives in another country that she wouldn't really know her grandchild (adding that she lives v close to her step-grandchild who she sees every fortnight). I wept and wept about it. My mum is still so scared by my mentalness that she has come to stay virtually every month for the last two years. (Oh and she does know her grandchild, very well, despite being in a different country, thanks also to Skype.)

Ironically, when I went into labour, I didn't want to tell anyone. I refused to let DH ring either of our mums, which was quite wise because even though they both had miles to travel, as he called them both when I was in recovery, they appeared at the hospital with superhuman speed. How did they even get there?

I'd only just recovered enough to smile and be nice rather than zombified. And despite arranging for them to visit at different times, they all turned up together and then sat in the hospital cafe timing the amount of time the "other grandparents" got with the baby and making slightly passive aggressive comments about it.

My mum was with me when I gave birth, so DH phoned his family and DM phoned mine.

With dc2 I asked my mum not to tell anyone (apart from my dad) I was in labour as I loads of text messages with dc1 asking if I had baby yet and I wasn't even in establish labour ( induced) I ended up turning my phone off and then went to sleep until I gave I gave birth.