Gah! To not enjoy spending time with my 3 1/2 year old

[ditziness]

Aaa agh. All he does is wriggle, shouting, spill things, run off, fall over, break things, make a mess, scream, bite me, ask for biscuits and Charlie and Lola. He's horrible to hang out with. Aaaaagh. Give me strength!

I don't have any advice to give just lots of empathy and compassion.

I remember those days, though it was a loooonnnng time ago. It is a hard and often thankless time when they are behaving like this.

Thanks giglet! Nursery day today, and I know I'll be missing him by lunchtime, but it's nice to have a day off and some time to actually interact with DD, rather than just cover her basic needs in between DS's outrageous demands.

How's anyone else today?

Well DS spent the night with his grandparents as Dp and I were both working and has come home grumpy, overtired and whiny. Very cuddly and is accompanying me EVERYWHERE like a small tetchy shadow. No chance of a nap and the weather is horrid so am resorting to bad mummy tactics of CBeebies and YouTube. he is trying toi ujhelp me type this by holdinggh my hand and bashiong the keyboard.

Glad you're getting s bit of a break.

Oh ditziness you're really going through it. Forget about terrible twos - 3.5 was when my DS was the absolute worst. I dreaded spending a whole day with him (I also work p-t) because the endless screaming and drama and refusals etc etc etc were so exhausting - and I didn't even have my DC2 by that time so it's much harder for you.

(I remember throwing myself on a bed and screaming into a pillow one afternoon while he shrieked and wrecked something - I'm not proud but I had to let it out.)

All I can say is it does get better. Mine is 7 now and goes off by himself and does art and plays computer games - imagine that! You will look back on this and wonder how you got through it, but you will get through it. Also, in a couple of years he will be at school and that will give you and him some more balance and routine.

Oh and of course you can put him in front of the telly fgs. Do it. Cbeebies is lovely and educational. Think about how we as adults (well most of us) use telly - to calm down and focus on something escapist. It's good for you. The stuff about telly being bad for kids is mainly about them being sedentary and not getting exercise - but your DS gets plenty so don't worry.

Also I have to congratulate you on this:
"flipflops, i do fucking work. i work parttime, have a six month old, three and a half year old, and we are currently all living in my PIL's spare room whilst trying to buy a house. and i'm premenstrual. so fuck off."

Love it!

aaagh. he's horrible. up at half five, refuses to nap and still awake now screaming. He's constant all fucking day, won't listen to a word i say, blantantly doing anything he can to piss me off. he's driving me insane!

Look, if you have to glue him to the television set 24 hours a day in order to remain sane, then DO IT!

surely there must be some advice somewhere that doesn't involve television

Hi, I saw your other thread about tv. I think the reason people are suggesting it is because you seem at the end of your tether. Tv is, imvho, an excellent resource/last resort when you feel like this.
If you were posting about just needing ideas for entertaining your DS I'm sure you'd get different replies. Eg do you think baking, crafts etc would go down well? There are some great websites with good ideas. Or trips out to fun places if poss?

why do you feel guilty?

i think i am missing that parent gene :)

no real advice, but i would stop taking him places - sounds like hard work and no pay back

feel for you - i had a squealing day most of sunday - not my finest hour (or four)

they were all driving me insane and in my defense when youngest knocked over the ironing, emptied out all the dirty washing and got naked (in the fecking 30 secs it took me to have a pee) i went beserk!

today it was pissing it down, but we went for a walk in the rain, he road his bike part of the way to the park until he made me carry it and then laid down in a puddle. So we came back home, luckily bumping into the bin lorry which we watched in the rain for 30 mins and then put the wheelie bins away (cue hilarious riding wheelie bin game) Then he played with his bin lorry toy, watched an episode of charlie and lola, make a pretend flute out of the end of the tin foil roll, ate lunch, refused to nap for an hour, read books and had a tea party, played with his cars, pretended to be a dog, baked a cake, watched the baking channel with his gran, helped make dinner, ate dinner, talked to family on skype, played with his daddy, and then wouldn't go to bed.

I can still hear him whinging now

i may be at the end of my tether, but i'm not going to put the telly on all day