To think that the question 'why are you a vegetarian' is exceptionally rude

[Partypartyrings]

I've had twenty-five years of it and I'm hacked off with it.

I don't give one flying shit what you eat, so why is what I eat so interesting?

Being a vegetarian is not something exotic, surely you've heard/met one before, don't bloody ask me, use your imagination.

And no, I don't fucking miss bacon, in fact it makes me heave.

And no, what I choose to eat is not some sort of judgement on what you eat so stop being so defensive about it.

Develop some manners- it is rude to question/comment on what somebody is eating.

Grr. There. Public service announcement over.

I've known smug, selqpeople in my time. Have been meat eaters

Sorry. I've known smug, self righteous, gittish or boorish people in my time. Some have been carniverous and some haven't.

Well most people I've known who have been vegetarians love to talk about their reasons and the benefits. I don't see why you are so sensitive about it.

Oh dear - I tend to ask out of genuine interest / to make conversation. I've never had anyone get angry about it! It usually just gives them a nice opportunity to talk about themselves. I personally don't care whether they like cheeseburgers or not - all the more for me.

Actually I do understand where the OP is coming from. I was a vegetarian for many years and it did get a little wearing to have to discuss it at nearly every social occasion involving food, from weddings to work buffets.

Usually people would ask "are you a vegetarian for moral reasons, or do you just not like meat?" and then I would explain, and then the close questioning would begin. "Do you eat fish? What about cheese? Do you wear leather shoes? What about plants - don't they have feelings too?" And yes, people would get a bit defensive even though I was always clear that I didn't judge anyone else's choices, it was just a personal thing. Really I'd just want to eat my egg sandwich in peace and inevitably, after a while I did begin to get a bit snippy about it.

alright lljkk , as you phrased it so delicately, I'll tell you.

My parents are vegetarian, so I wasn't brought up eating meat. I was always allowed to eat whatever I wanted, and encouraged to try meat at family occasions and so on, but I just didn't like it, and still don't like it.

So there. No overarching strong reason. I just am, and always have been. Ethical/environmental considerations are just a happy accident, really, but I don't care enough to even have a strong opinion on the topic. Boring, right?

So I've had to deal with this question all through childhood, and teenagerdom to now- I experienced some really vile comments from peers when I was younger. I hope all you people on this thread who are showing hostility and mocking towards vegetarians are bringing your children up to be as tolerant and understanding of people's lifestyles as you clearly are.

Even now I get ignorant people innocently asking why I'm vegetarian, and then accusing my parents of neglect/abuse for bringing me up vegetarian. Seriously. Try reacting to that politely over dinner with new people for the first time.

So maybe I'm oversensitive because I've had to deal with the same question all my life . And I'll happily talk about it with people I know fairly well. But whoever said that 50% of the time people want to challenge your beliefs when they ask the question- beliefs which I don't actually have - is totally right. Do you know how annoying it is when people keep wanting to have the same argument with you over and over again for twenty-five years- when you have no interest in the topic?

So yes, it's intrusive. And I've had enough of it.

You are lumping in normal pleasent people who are showing an interest in you with twats.

That's really rude in my opinion.

I couldn't give a knats chuff if your mother didn't give you meat as a child but if we met and were having a chat I might be interested in you enough to try and learn a little bit more about you.

Obvs that would make me a rude twat.

It's your life so do what you want. I still breastfeed my nearly 2yo dd and people think it's weird. I don't and it's our choice. I think you are being a bit u to get so wound up, but I do get that it can be a bit annoying when people try to change your mind about things that have nothing to do with them. Perhaps just start answering the question with one of your own ie, 'why have you got a beard/no children/pink hair?' or similar.

"So I've had to deal with this question all through childhood, and teenagerdom to now- I experienced some really vile comments from peers when I was younger. I hope all you people on this thread who are showing hostility and mocking towards vegetarians are bringing your children up to be as tolerant and understanding of people's lifestyles as you clearly are."

But I don't think anyone has been hostile! There have been a joke or two- but that is allowed, surely? Or is humour forbidden too?

YANBU, I have been a vegetarian for 12 years and the question still annoys me sometimes.

If it comes up as part of a general discussion on animal welfare/ healthy lifestyle etc then that's reasonable. But when someone asks you just as they are biting into a big steak, and then follows it up with comments such as 'it was a vegetarian cow, hohoho' then yes it is pretty rude and ignorant.

I also agree with EmmaBemma, people do tend to get defensive about their own meat eating, even though they were the one who brought up the subject. Or make really inane comments such as 'well if noone ate meat there would be no more cows/sheep/pigs- I thought you liked animals!' etc etc.

Try being a vegan if you think being a vegetarian gets you the third degree!

I agree with Sissy Space. Not eaten meat since I was 16 - 35 years - now in 1978 I was unusual! So grown up with being asked the same question. Don't mind at all really, only when fellow diners get a bit heated with me (it's happened) or maybe slightly worse say I'll become anaemic/lack protein (sorted that honestly) or justify why they're sat there stuffing themselves with lamb - their choice, just as I've made mine.

The initial 'why are you veggie?' isn't rude in itself, surely? Bit annoying, very unoriginal as small talk (but isn't almost all smalltalk unoriginal?) but not rude. The follow up questions and defensiveness can be very rude though.

There is often a weird assumption that veggies are preachy, smug and sanctimonious and it can be difficult to avoid sounding like this if someone gives you the third degree. Actually yes, i think eating meat is wrong but i don't want to get dragged into saying that!

I have the same problem when someone asks why me and DP aren't married. Always happens at wedding receptions and i hate saying 'i just don't see the point' as it sounds rude to anyone who finds marriage a really powerful statement of their feelings. So i once said 'well, i'd love to but DP won't marry me'. That shut them up.

So really all people who ask this question want to know usually is it an ethical or taste preference ...thats all wow so fucking sensitive!

I can see what you mean, OP.

Sometimes we are allowed to be annoyed by things that most of the time are not that annoying. If we weren't, loads of threads on MN would not exist, and standup comedy would have lost some of its brightest stars.

thinkabout My parents had that marriage-question problem for years. It extended into the fact that we all have different surnames and my brother and I upon making new friends were (and are) always asked about it.

I choose to tell the full story every time rather than sidestep around it because hopefully it means not being bugged about by the same person over and over. Now my parents ARE married but still have different names and the question just moves on to 'why did you keep your name' (to my mother).

I have found it wearing but never been especially annoyed about it.

Honestly, I'm very curious as to why most people I meet aren't veggie. I don't ask them, usually, but if the topic vaguely comes up...I do. I know it's different, theirs is the default, but as long as I say it pleasantly....I'd say anyone who gets upset over that is too sensitive for me to get worried about.

I have no problem explaining why I don't eat meat. I don't get asked all that often. I think in the morning you'll feel differently!

"I just didn't like it, and still don't like it"

I think that's why most the vegetarians I know are vegetarian. I would have thought that was the bog standard answer.

So I go back to what I said at the beginning. If folk are rude about that then they are rude, full stop. Opportunity to pity them, really.

Maybe you make the mistake by explaining too much. You don't need to go into history. Just "I don't like it" and move on.

None of the vegetarians I know care. They like to chat about it.

I'm not going to change my ways then!

Unrepentant.

I wouldn't mind quarrel at all.

I was a veggie for a while, it's a topic which is interesting to me.

As My mum would say "there are some funny buggers in this world"

TerreriaMum - "People keep telling me that I ought to start off small and eat bits of it in order to adapt, but I really don't want to."

Yep. I get that too. I can't adapt though because my brain does not control my immune system.

Its natural for people to be curious and make suggestions like that who have 'normal' diets. I stay polite and try to see it from their point of view though - because I recognise that other people sometimes go to some inconvenience to accomodate my diet when we eat out or I visit their home.

As a vegetarian I say YABU - chillax I don't often get asked the why am I a vegetarian but I do find I get asked a lot why aren't my dc's vegetarian?? The dirty carnivores

I was a vegetarian for many years and I tried not to bring it up because inevitably I would be asked why and who enjoys having to explain a personal choice to everyone constantly? There would always be those who would try to debate it with you or pull a 20 questions to see if you wore leather, ate jello, believed in hunting - then would judge you on how rigorously you fit into their definition of a hippy etc. I found it a hassel - so I understand where you are coming from OP.