To think you don't tell kids you are buying them a big ticket item for Christmas

[HopingItllBeOK]

for their sole use if they have been telling you excitedly for months that the whole family are saving up for it as a family present and now have enough money for it. Or to think that if you were planning on getting this particular gift, given that it is a big, expensive thing, you would run it by one of the adults in their household before going to the kids? Or at the very least if you must get the item in question, give it to the children early and thus paint yourself as a hero, you should get the actual thing the children have been going on and on about, not a substandard version of it which is going to need a crap-tonne of add ons to match up to what was originally saved for, and is second hand and therefore not under warranty and likely to break within a year anyway?

AIBU to be pissed off and mentally composing a refusal of the 'offer' and am I being a killjoy and looking a gift horse in the mouth?

[MissPants]

Yanbu. I hate when people use gifts for point scoring.
Another one here who had to deal with a feckless Disney dad (thankfully he lost interest some time ago) who promised DS1 a game boy for months and months. A week before Christmas there was neither hide nor hair of it and when asked he evasively made it obvious that it wasn't forthcoming. Cue me sending the DC for a week long 'holiday' to my mothers so I could spend the week subsisting on cup a soups and toast in order to buy the damned thing. DS still to this day doesn't know it didn't come from his dad

[LollopingLil]

MissPants, you are totally awesome. What an amazing mum.

OP, YANBU. Not at all.

[HopingItllBeOK]

Ah the never materialising handheld console. Yes we had one of those as well. Promised and promised them a DS each, despite being told they were too young for them. One went missing in the post, refused to replace or send the postage receipt claiming it was lost so I could replace it and claim it back. 4 days before Xmas on the year DSs were the must have toy so cost me a sodding fortune on eBay. Find out a month later a claim has been made with royal mail. I never saw the money. He still asks them both if they use the DSs he bought them both.

I don't think I will ever understand the mentality of someone who could screw up their own child's christmas out of spite

[MyLastDuchess]

YANBU. To be honest I'm aghast at some of these stories. My parents split when I was very young but always presented a united front ... on everything to be honest. Trying to score points like this always backfires on people in the long run, because as the kids get older they realise what was going on and lose respect for the game-playing parent.

[Anonymumous]

I'd refuse it. It's really sweet that you've all been saving for it together, and it's not fair of anyone else to spoil the culmination of all that hard work. It's just mean-spirited.

[Cahoots]

Ok, this is a little bit different a viewpoint but I think it would be great to have 2 consules. It is easy to monitor screen time as you can use the parental restrictions to set up exactly when and for how long it is used.
Also, your DC's are just getting to the age where it is nice for them (and for you) to have a bit of personal space. It is particularly useful if they have friends round. It's much better than having to keep unplugging and plugging in the playstation to move it around the house.
If my teens have a lot of friends over they often link together two game systems. I think they use XBoxes but I think you can do the same with playstations.

[financialwizard]

My exh promised my son a PS3 when they first came out. When they eventually saw each other the PS3 had been out a while and exh took DS11 to Game and bought a second hand one. Fast forward a month. DS is playing the PS3 at home (in a different country) and it dies. Completely dead. Sent it back at great expense to exh and he blamed me for it dying (it was an electrical fault). Due to the fact that the post was delayed he couldn't get a refund and DS11 was very very upset. So we have (18 mths later) bought him one for Christmas.

[MissPants]

Thank you Lolloping, that's truly lovely of you to say

I don't think I could have borne seeing DS disappointed and hurt. Fear of that outweighed my annoyance at having to cover for ExP's mess once again.
He was another who launched a desperate search for his children the moment he heard I had moved in with now DH. By desperate I mean a Facebook status appealing for information on my whereabouts

[cornflowers]

And there I was assuming the op was about a MIL
YANBU at all.

[HopingItllBeOK]

I actually get on really well with my MIL, cornflower. The current one anyway, the exes mother is a different matter but since she isn't in our lives in any way, it isn't an issue.

Well done MissPants, you beat me on the lazy ex front. At least mine bothered to pay a private investigator to find out my address. I'm sure those 2 minutes typing a status were really hard for your ex though. The poor lamb

[HeadlessForHalloween]

Just get it, and tell ex that you've already bought a new package. Tell him by email, sound very polite and reasonable, but to the point, then save the email for your records in case he uses this to get at you.

You have a valid reason to ask him not to get it.