to be sad dd does not like our home...........

[booksinbed]

Dd has often told me, although we have happy times here, she does not like our home.She is not a spolit madam i promise !! She just does not share our taste.We have a thin vicotian terrace which is mostly wooded floors- the rooms are small and run in a series of small rooms with a downstairs kitchen- the stairs run up the middle of the house so even if walls were removed the stairs wd be in the middle unless we did major work to change the position.it is really thin hence we have no hall way just open room from f garden.

I really loved my childhood home ,which was a detatched 1930S home with cosy carpets and traditional furniture.
We live in a lovely area were we have 90 ft thin gardens and the neighbours are all lovely - it s like a village.especially as folk pop in and you can hear thro the walls!!!our area is v expensive for our city as its popular with familes and academics and you can walk into the city.
I think we are really lucky and i like the house but i know for the money you can get higher spec 1970 type or modern houses for the same or less near by and inthe next town a big house with double or more size rooms - our are 12 x 12 ??.It feels so sad to me that Dd has always found own home odd - its 4 floors- like a telephone box!! and wants a open feeling home ...when we go to that type of prp on holiday or freinds she is in her element- i really want her to have happy memories of family home not that it s odd!!!!feeling a bit emotional re this - sorry .

Just tell her you're counting down the years til she can buy her own house if she doesn't like your one.

Booksinbed I think people are giving you a hard time here! I'm sure you and your daughter know that there are those not as fortunate as you etc., you're just making an interesting point! No bad thing that your daughter feels able to come out with her opinion, as long as she's not rude, and as others have said perhaps you can use this as a lever to get her to work hard at school, get a good job and buy a big open plan bungalow or whatever she dreams of! So sorry to hear about your relative being ill.

Thankyou clippity x Yes she does know about others and its the sort of thing we discuss as well as take action on .thanks again.It really was that i may be losing a family member who gave me happy times and i want to give those to my dd - hence in situation was oversensitive

you say you don't spoil her and in the very next sentence you are explaining why you can't knock down walls to accommodate her tastes which are different to yours.

please see post 8.55 to explain

MY dds hate our sofa tough lovey see when you are buying the sofa you can have an opinion OP yab daft and projecting your child will be fine and yes she is acting a bit like a spoiled princess . I grew up with swirly carpets and orange wall paper It didnt scare me

I remember a crazy time when I was about 14 when I told my mum and dad that we should sell our lovely house and rent a flat on the estate where all my friends lived. So I could be closer to them.
I don't think they seriously considered it :o

scar*

She's a teenager. It's her job to hate the house she lives in, her family, her hair, her body, her lack of money, her having no clothes to wear etc. etc.

My youngest daughter even asked me if she was adopted - I think she thought she was probably born into the aristocracy and ended up being adopted by us. Considering we had three other older children it was hardly likely!

Anyway, just tell her that shit happens - where she lives is where she lives and she can live wherever the hell she likes when she's choosing her home herself. If she has the budget for it of course

My dd thinks our house is a hideous slum.

She's not wrong.

Ds loves our house. LOVES it. We do not own it, we rent privately. We will probably never be able to get a mortgage, or a council house. I hate not having the security of our own house, I hate not being able to decorate or change anything, I hate paying rent that is similar to what I would pay on a mortgage. Your house sounds lovely, it's not just a house, it's a HOME. I'm very jealous.

You are giving this too much head space imo...I agree with FreddieMercury, we are in the same situation. I think all children say they want to live in a house like x and suffer from the grass is greener complex. My dd has moments like that since she goes to parties/houses of kids who have very affluent parents with big gated houses in the country with security cameras and our house could never compete in a million years! I do think that what is important is what goes on inside the home as others have said.

I would advise that op's daughter plays the spoons and ditches the stringed instruments until a house move/remodelling is imminent.

Said spoons could always be purchased from john lewis and would therefore be high quality and posh spoons (be they tea- soup- or serving-)

If DD is a teen she is not far off going out to work and buying her own home. Then she can pay for whatever she wants to live. Fgs would you really move because of your DDs opinion?

I grew up in a nice, spacious house with a big garden and a massive double bedroom all to myself. As a teenager, my strongest desire was to have a tiny bedroom, like all my friends. My father still rolls his eyes at the memory!

(PS - I love my parents' house now).

My kids are embarrassed by our house because it is bigger than their friends. My 13 year old daughter lives in dread of being accused of being privileged.

I am pretty sure whatever house you have your kids will be embarrassed by/find fault with. Has nothing whatsoever to do with memories though.

I didn't like the house I grew up in purely because of my mothers love of floral Sanderson wallpaper and Wilton carpets in the vilest of patterns - I refused to bring friends home to see that my mother would dry our underwear in front of the open fires as we had no central heating or mod cons like a tumble drier but d'ya know what - I bought the house 10 years ago and have turned it from a twee Victorian jumble into a lovingly restored modern home ....and guess what! ...one of my kids hates the fact that we have fireplaces and sash windows, he is 8 - can't wait for him to grow up and live in a shoe box to appreciate the lovely home he grew up in GRRR

I sort of know what you mean. We live in a small bungalow. All our neighbours are retired. It's quite run down and we are very slowly making improvements.

My dd sometimes asks if we can move.

I think she'd like to live somewhere more like some of her friends do - 3 bed semis in cul de sacs where lots of dc come out to play.

But given that the house is in a bad state and we bought it at the height of the market, we won't be selling it anytime soon. I don't think she's being spoilt or precious, I can see her point. Perhaps when she's a bit older friends from further afield will come over and call for her.

She has a friend where the whole family sleep in one bedroom and she think's it's fantastic.

Look on the bright side, no matter how small the rooms she will still have room to play her tiny violin

Post of the year for me