to be sad dd does not like our home...........

[booksinbed]

Dd has often told me, although we have happy times here, she does not like our home.She is not a spolit madam i promise !! She just does not share our taste.We have a thin vicotian terrace which is mostly wooded floors- the rooms are small and run in a series of small rooms with a downstairs kitchen- the stairs run up the middle of the house so even if walls were removed the stairs wd be in the middle unless we did major work to change the position.it is really thin hence we have no hall way just open room from f garden.

I really loved my childhood home ,which was a detatched 1930S home with cosy carpets and traditional furniture.
We live in a lovely area were we have 90 ft thin gardens and the neighbours are all lovely - it s like a village.especially as folk pop in and you can hear thro the walls!!!our area is v expensive for our city as its popular with familes and academics and you can walk into the city.
I think we are really lucky and i like the house but i know for the money you can get higher spec 1970 type or modern houses for the same or less near by and inthe next town a big house with double or more size rooms - our are 12 x 12 ??.It feels so sad to me that Dd has always found own home odd - its 4 floors- like a telephone box!! and wants a open feeling home ...when we go to that type of prp on holiday or freinds she is in her element- i really want her to have happy memories of family home not that it s odd!!!!feeling a bit emotional re this - sorry .

Well when she's an adult she can have the kind of house she wants.

Or not, I'm an adult and we can't afford the kind of house I want so we're limited to small terraced houses. Whatevs, a house is a house and I'm grateful we can afford to rent in a nice area at all.

Seriously? Direct her to the OXFAM website fgs.

I loved my childhood home, but pretty sure I'd have had good memories anyway.

Seems a bit of an odd thing to be hung up about if the house is warm and well maintained?

Sheesh, OP, your DD would have died of angst if she grew up in my childhood home - a tiny labourer's cottage with no bathroom and an outside loo, and with all the bedrooms leading off the living room! If one of us had to go to the loo after we'd gone to bed, we had to walk through the kitchen and living room, past any visitors, put on a coat and shoes and go out the backdoor. Plus the outside loo had a spider epidemic and a dodgy light.

I hated my home when I was growing up. It's not that unbelievable. I think it gets harder for mothers with older daughters living in the same house if they have different tastes. There was a massive generation gap between my mum and me and her taste was completely different from mine. .

She'll move out soon OP, and when she gets her own place she can decorate it as she likes. Don't be offended or saddened, it just shows your dd has grown up and you've taught her to have her own likes and dislikes instead of being a sheep.

As my DH says 'she will get over it'. The house sounds great. She is a teenager.

Anyway, we're all very envious of your house with wooden floors, 90ft garden,12x12 rooms(which is not small btw!)in an expensive part of the city where you can walk into town

Get her to buy you a home she does like!

Haaaa ha ha ha ha!

FAKEBOOK and others- That helps to know re Dd being teen and she has developed own taste.I have close relative who is very very ill at present and i think the" home" thing has triggered soem nostalgia and emotion in me and sad feelings which i didnt cotton on to until just now and i may have taken Dd comment too much to heart given my own sad one at present.I will give myself a firm talking to !!

zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz

I grew up in a 1960s house with big picture windows, York stone fireplace, woodchip wallpaper, etc - I hated it as it was so dull and featureless & wished we lived in a 'old' house. I was always griping at my mum about how much I hated the house & wished we lived in a 'cottage'.

Now I live in a turn-of-the-century house, moving to a 1930s house but have very fond memories of the house I grew up in, and love 1960s houses.

So give her time & she will probably love the house!

Are you sure you don't hate the house too so it seems worse. I hate this house so I assume DDs (2 and 4) hate it too even though they are barely old enough to form an opinion

I don't get it.

She'll probably like it and try to recreate it when she is older lol.

your daughter lacks experience of the world and its buildings. say 'oh dear' and move on.

Quint - it's a double bass [talking to foreigners] DOUBLE BASS

OP - I grew up in a classic 30s semi, and as soon as I left home went through a succession of shotgun terraces, which I much preferred at the time.

But you could always try gold-plating the walls, you never know

She is a teenager, therefore highly likely to be self absorbed and with not much understanding or appreciation of the wider world. I think our jobs as parents is to try to educate them gently about such things, before they leave for the wider world and find others much less patient or accommodating of such attitudes. I think she does sound a bit spoiled.

When my daughter makes similar whinges I remind her that when she earns her own money, she can spend it how she likes. Sadly she is highly unlikely to ever earn enough to afford her own home at this rate. Then I hope she looks back and thinks how lucky she was to grow up somewhere warm and dry where she was safe and well cared for.

We live in a tiny one bedroom flat. We have very little space and my son only has a few square feet where he can play with his toys. The windows are rotting and we do not have the money to fix them so its rather cold and draughty at this time of year. Would you like to swap?

Your DD needs a shoe up the arse.

What a bitchy load of responses. I can see where OP is coming from. My DM has always felt a little sad that DB would rather have been brought up in a modern shoebox in town than our little country cottage. The two represent different values.

I wonder if you are projecting your feelings of the house onto dd, I find it a little odd that your dd could feel so strongly about her home tbh

I want an enormous like buttin for Caerlaverock;
Look on the bright side, no matter how small the rooms she will still have room to play her tiny violin

Too funny.

ButtOn.
Clearly.

please see my last post.20.55 pm