To put DC, aged 8 and 9, in Economy while I fly in Club with a 2yo and the nanny

[firemansamisnormansdad]

OK, so it wasn't actually me. But I boarded a flight from the USA yesterday and was shocked that this Mom did this to her own children. I have heard that people do this. Is there ever any real justification? My DH was sitting next to them and the little girl was getting quite scared at the turbulence. The Mom said that she would send the nanny down and swap places with DD during the flight, but she never did. I could never do this - I want my precious ones near me during a flight, especially an 8 hour one!

A fair bit.... But no idea what that has got to do with it. I don't tnink its safe for a child to be seperated from an adult they are travelling with even 2/3 rows away.

The children are eight and nine, no need to infantalise them. Being a bit frightened of a new experience is normal, and it is good the mum is giving them the space and experiences to grow up independently.

For a lot of children, independent travel overseas is a necessity and perhaps the mum was preparing them for their next trip alone?

Also don't see why mum should not give herself more luxuries. She has earned them as an adult. If she drives the latest BMW, does she have to buy the same for her child when they learn to drive?

Also, it doesn't sound like the two children were much trouble, and eight and nine are plenty old enough to know manners. And since OP doesn't say her dh had a bad time with them, presumably mum has brought them up well, and understands her children's capabilities.

I fly very frequently, at least a few times a month, and have rarely experienced any problems. And there are often very young children traveling alone. Yes, there could be crash, but what is the likelihood? You can't live life based on the worst case scenario. And in any case, this mum was close enough to sort things out, if needed.

It is fine if you do things differently, but why judge this mum? You wouldn't like others criticising your parenting decisions, so why not give this mum the same courtesy. Sounds a bit like class envy to me.

Rosa, if there was a safety issue, the airline wouldn't allow it. I presume mum was travelling BA or another major carrier and these airlines have very carefully crafted and detailed security and emergency policies. If they though a parent sitting away from 8 and 9 year olds was a security risk, they would not allow it.

So let's not get carried away on how this is endangering everyones lives..

I don't know, 8 and 9 seems young to me. Why was the nanny in business? Strange arrangement. I wouldn't do this because I'd want my children to share the flying experience with me, not do it alone and get scared. We go in holiday once a year though, so not exactly frequent flyers. Maybe they travel a lot and the mum wanted to relax? Whatever the reason, if they disturbed you, you should've alerted the cabin crew.

Anyway...on another note, I can't get past your nickname OP. is fireman Sam REALLY Norman's dad?

Technically YANBU but I wouldn't do it.

I wish I had the guts to put my kids in economy & sit at the front of the plane. I'd be too scared there'd be an accident to enjoy it. I don't mind them travelling without me, or my travelling without them, but I'd need to be in the same part of the cabin as them. Actually just thought I'd put DH in economy with children & nanny & 2 yr old & catch up on films in business on my own knowing they were safe in his capable hands.

I'm not going to get into the economy vs club debate, but I will say that I LOVED sitting by myself on long-haul flights at that age. It meant I didn't have to put up with my screaming baby sister and stressed mother but could sit quietly by myself and read/listen to music/whatever. I don't recall ever being scared, but then we were very frequent fliers. The air staff never seemed surprised by me being alone either.

Maybe those posters who are saying they'd be too scared of an accident don't tend to fly very often themselves?

I think the point is the two year old, IF she had the nanny with her, to look after the baby, why not sit all of them in economy?
At least that way, the kids all feel equally neglected, and beneath their own Mother!!

Rosa 'a fair bit' doesn't cover it. You're either someone who knows or someone who's guessing. Since currently, even though flying is one of the most regulated industries in the world, the professionals don't hold your view then I don't either. If, you can qualify your statements, I'd certainly listen.

Herrena the point that adults fliers could be nervous too is a good one.

I clocked up 500,000 by the age of 10 ( so that shows my age to all the junior jet club members)..... I fly less now but up to last Dd was still doing a fair bit. Also thankfully incidents have been few and far between. It is more since having kids that I question it all. As yes in the past there were more crew , no low costs. It was a different way of flying. It is IMO and its a forum we are meant to disagree I just think that if a disaster should happen I would head for my dc first and want to check they are out before searching for my nearest exit. The crew will be manning the doors.... Esp on the low cost. 4 crew 6 doors ....the maths is there.

Nope, I couldn't do this.

No, it's not class envy. I just wouldn't like the idea of delegating the responsibility of my child to others when I'm on the same flight. I can understand if parents/ children were in the same part of the cabin and the parents could keep an eye on them but to be totally separated, that doesn't sit right with me at all.

If I was seated next to an unaccompanied child, I would feel like I had some sort of responsibility for them even though I technically didn't.

I also don't like the idea of treating children as second class citizens. Either all the family in club class or none at all.

Dh's parents used to travel business while and his sil travelled economy. I think they did this from age 10 onwards. When dh first told me this story, I was a bit but he said I was being precious and they were fine. Its come up again recently as we are doing long haul next month and he took one look at the £10k entry on the credit card bill for the flights for us and dd (the toddler is free till next year) and said he can't wait for the kids to be old enough to send to economy. clearly his experience growing up hasn't traumatised him!

So, Rosa we have similar flying histories but I have a different conclusion. It's pretty subjective.

Also, we often travelled down the back while my parents went up front, though my Dad didn't start flying first or business until I was 11 or so as he wasn't senior enough until then.

In the USA you can fly alone from 5

Why would strangers next to the kids need to help them with headphones and luggage? That's what cabin crew is for and I'd guess the children have been instructed to ask them if they need anything. A friend of mine is cabin crew on BA and says this kind of arrangement, parents in business, kids in economy, is very common and of course they keep an eye of the children then.

"Tbh, I don't see the problem. Each their own"

Sorry Flatbread I don't understand why you don't "get" it. And I hate the expression "Each to their own". Do you actually know any 8/9 year olds? DD is 12 and would feel far to anxious to sit on a plane on her own next to a stranger with me at the other end of the plane. I think it is rather selfish and entitled to assume that a perfect stranger will look after the children if they feel unwell/experience turbulence etc.

To assume that the children could walk up the plane to club class if they need their mother isn't necessarily practical. If they were seated at the back of the plane and the trolley was in the way they wouldn't be able to get past for ages.

Agree with AnneTwacky, if u can't afford for all the family to travel business class then you all go in economy. It's not just about the other passengers, it's sending a message to the kids they are second class citizens compared to mum nanny and baby. Horrible people!

At 12! Bunbaker, I was avoiding the UM crew and flying independently by then. By that I mean, going through the airport by myself (and not just LHR some real ropey ones) getting myself on a plane, managing to not combust on the flight, land, get my luggage and get through to the other side. Some kids can.

Blood, she may be allowed two business tickets as part of her employer's policy. She probably thought it was best to have the older children sit together and have nanny in club. Maybe for support with the toddler or perhaps just to reward the nanny with a bit of luxury.

Children thinking they should have every luxury the adults have, can lead to entitled attitudes. No harm for children to know that they will have to work hard and earn enough to be able to travel business or first.

I guess people who say that the DC would be terrified to be alone don't fly that much - yes, if course I wouldn't seat a child separately if it was their first flight ever. But what if those 8 and 9 year olds have been flying as UMs since they were 5?

Bunbaker, you cannot generalise based on your child. Maybe your 12 year old can't fly alone. My niece was regularly flying across continents alone from a much younger age.

This mum made parenting decisions based on the knowledge of her own children. You wouldn't like it if people criticised you for mollycoddling your 12 year old, would you?

I don't think the point is unaccompanied children are ok these children weren't unaccompanied they had their mother with them who chose to afford herself,the nanny and a sibling more comfort and luxury. That is the point here and it sounds nasty. No of course she shouldn't buy them a BMW just because she has worked hard to buy one but equally the dc would benefit from being driven around in the car not pulled behind on a trailer.
If she couldn't bear to sit with her dc for 8 hrs should she have assumed anyone else wanted too?
I can't imagine many of the posters saying sat alone dc are not going to be any trouble for other passengers have travelled far with that age group.
I never get to read a page if my book between putting down trays,unwrapping food packaging,helping find dropped pencils,showing how in flight entertainment works,answering questions and moving for trips to the lol. These things are hardly likely to be dealt with by already busy cabin crew. Can't imagine ringing the bell to ask them to open said child's juice carton you'd look a right twat.

I agree with Flatbread. I like flying club, but I worked hard (and I am not saying that everyone else doesn't by the way!) to be able to afford it. We worry about our kids growing up in a bubble and not appreciating that club tickets are a)not the norm and b) don't just land on your lap. Much as I started off being catsbum face when dh first suggested that we would send the dcs to economy when they're older, I can entirely see the point he/his parents were making.

WTF! No way - we either all fly first/business or we all fly economy. I would never be apart from my children on a plane.

yes I guess those DC would indeed have to find their own dropped pencils, but so would UMs, whom people don't seem to object to.

You have hit the nail on the head ledkr. 8 and 9 year olds can be quite demanding on a long flight. I don't think many on here who say it is OK to leave them in economy have actually flown with children that age.