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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU re sleepover?

55 replies

PumpkinPorridge · 01/11/2012 17:21

DD went to her friend's 11th birthday sleepover last night. The general consensus that they didn't sleep till 3am.

my dd was desperate to get to sleep before then but was unable to due to the general commotion going on (i just know that she was not one of the late over excitable ones, as it's just not what she's like).

anyway, today was the only day that we had to spend as a family this half term do do a nice day trip. It was totally ruined by dd's inability to cope with doing anything as she was so exhausted.

AIBU to expect the parents to enforce quiet before this time? I expected her to be a bit tired, but have never experienced post sleepover exhaustion to this degree.

AIBU to expect that you shouldnt return people's DC in such a state?? I just wouldnt dream of it as it impacts on everyone's day and i think it's unfair.

OP posts:
usualsuspect3 · 01/11/2012 17:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

KitKatGirl1 · 01/11/2012 17:41

If it's a birthday sleepover, ie. special occasion, I would expect them up til all hours.

If my ds, however, just has a friend for a 'regular' sleepover I aim for lights out no later than say an hour and a half past the other child's regular bedtime and return the child as awake as possible the next day.

Original poster
PumpkinPorridge · 01/11/2012 17:41

ok ok IABU.

am probably reacting to having a shit half term based around my mum being in hospital

OP posts:
MistressIggi · 01/11/2012 17:42

If you had a special day out planned you should've said no to the sleepover.

WiseKneeHair · 01/11/2012 17:42

Er, and how were the parents supposed to make them sleep?
We had a sleepover (Ha! lack-of-sleepover) for DS1s 10th birthday last year.
We started trying to make them quieten down at about 11pm. by 12.30am, my Ds had had enough and went to sleep in another room. The other 3 boys were awake until at least 02.30am and there was nothing we could do to make them go to sleep.

Ds is 11 soon Sad at the thought of another sleepless night.

YABU by the way.

MistressIggi · 01/11/2012 17:43

X-post

halloweeneyqueeney · 01/11/2012 17:43

"dd actually said she wished she'd just stayed for the party bit and come home."

well that was always an option, but you didn't choose it, so it's not the host family's fault that you misjudged

Original poster
PumpkinPorridge · 01/11/2012 17:43

flamin, am not a party pooper usually, maybe i should claim mitigating circs Grin

OP posts:
PlaySchool · 01/11/2012 17:44

The thing is that parents do usually tell the kids to be quiet at sleepovers but some badly brought up kids persist in defying the hosting parents!

This is what happens at sleepovers - everyone knows that.

UABU

Crikeyblimey · 01/11/2012 17:45

We never call them "sleepovers" but simply "overs"!! I think you were being nieive to think anything other than a tired out useless child to be returned to you.

We had to say no to a recent invitation to a sleepover as ds was busy the following day and would have been useless.

PlaySchool · 01/11/2012 17:45

Actually, next time I have a few little shits that persist in staying up that late, I will ring the parents to collect them! [hwink]

Crikeyblimey · 01/11/2012 17:46

I'm sorry???? Badly brought up children??? Get a grip - party sleepover = no sleep. Thems the rules.

Original poster
PumpkinPorridge · 01/11/2012 17:47

crikey, i probaly shouldve done that too. i guess i was using previous sleepover as a guage. they havent been that late before

OP posts:
usualsuspect3 · 01/11/2012 17:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

waltermittymissus · 01/11/2012 17:48

some badly brought up kids persist in defying the hosting parents

This is tongue in cheek yes?

OP you know you're being U. You can't expect the sleepover to be based on YOUR plans for a day out and YOUR week of hospital vists.

Sorry about your mum though.

Original poster
PumpkinPorridge · 01/11/2012 17:50

i know walter, i accept it has made me intolerant Smile

OP posts:
waltermittymissus · 01/11/2012 18:11

Oops x post! Sorry! Blush

PlaySchool · 01/11/2012 18:24

I'm sorry???? Badly brought up children??? Get a grip - party sleepover = no sleep. Thems the rules.

Nope. That bit is serious! I had a sleepover (amongst many others for my other children) for a 10th birthday party. There were 2 children who persisted in jumping around the room, including jumping off the top of the bunkbeds for the entire night. I went in at least every hour to ask them to stop it and settle down. They were still at it at 6am. I would be totally ashamed if my children behaved like that in someone else's house.

Seriously, I think that these 2 children were lacking manners and respect.

PlaySchool · 01/11/2012 18:25

Who would be happy with their children behaving like that? Own up!

freddiefrog · 01/11/2012 18:31

I have an 11 year old and that sounds pretty normal to me too.

If I have something planned for the next day, I usually just say no to the stay over

DD1 had a sleepover for her 11th birthday I asked them until I was blue in the face several times to shut the fuck up and go to sleep but it's par for the course

freddiefrog · 01/11/2012 18:33

Ooh, crossed posts, not replying to the happy to behave like that question.

waltermittymissus · 01/11/2012 18:42

Ok Playschool I'll bite.

You don't think that perhaps the fact they were at a sleepover, were excited, probably hyped up on sugar, staying with friends, egging each other on are extenuating circumstances?

Maybe they are very well behaved children usually.

ThreadWatcher · 01/11/2012 18:43

YABU - sleepover is a misnomer, they are not for sleeping.

I suggest you host a sleepover yourself and see how the "its time to sleep now" bit goes............ :o

Housewifefromheaven · 01/11/2012 18:45

My dd at 14 took a whole WEEK to recover from her sleepover :o

PlaySchool · 01/11/2012 18:47

waltermittymissus I'm happy with chatting and staying up way too late, but no - not that kind of behaviour.

Other parents have similar tales of these 2 particular children. The other kids were really annoyed with them as well!
If I found out that mine behaved like that they would be for the high jump and they know it.