In wanting to postpone MIL visit when DC are ill?

[Redwhine]

MIL is visiting tomorrow. Last night one DC was sick and I was up with him in the night. Today other DC has been sick three times already. I know the way these things tend to go... I usually get it day two/ three and we have a night of no sleep, constantly rotating beds, vomity sheets etc! All great fun and par for the course with two little ones. But I don't want to be dealing with a guest on top of it.

She doesn't work, so could come any other time.

She has seen the children in the last few weeks.

She has never even changed a nappy, so can't really see her being helpful with d and v and the mess that goes with it.

I want to reschedule. DH says its up to her if she wants to come or not. AIBU?

Rearrange.

No of course, yanbu. But she probably won't want to come anyway if she knows your dc have a bug. Just phone and say they are sick and you'll have to rearrange.

Reschedule.

YANBU? I wouldn't want guests when dealing with sick kids, it's exhausting enough.

Just say no.

rearrange and tell your dp to stop being so silly

If I was MIL I would not want to come! Lay it on thick about how infectious these things are, and if she's got any sense she'll stay away.

YANBU. Tell her she is not visiting tomorrow as she won't want to catch it above all else. You give her a ring when she can come.

Your DH is wrong. Why would she want to visit if the DC have D&V? Or is he too scared to tell her not too?

*not to. Even.

Have phoned and she said merrily 'not to worry I never seem to pick these things up!'

Nooooooooo!!!!!

Is it wrong of me to hope she catches D+V? Silly woman. Is she intending to stay overnight?

He is rubbish at saying no to her. She once wanted to visit the day I was scheduled to get out of hospital after a serious operation, when pregnant.

Endo... That thought did cross my mind! She is due to stay the night, another issue as it is useful to have a spare bed when the children are sick.

no is a complet sentance.

Just say sorry, you can´t come the kids are sick and I need the spare bed.

Oh, got to go DCx is being sick again.

hang the phone up.

Simples

I would greet her. Here fully with a pile of washing and say how lovely that you wanted to come and help out with everyone being sick. I am feeling a bit unwell myself so I am off to bed now....

cansu - I LOVE that!

I would just say no though....

Already rowed with DH who says if she doesn't mind risking it that's up to her. He refuses to say not to come. Looks like Cansu's solution is the one to go for...

I like cansu's idea. I'm now wishing D+V on your husband as well.

canso is right - take a bucket to your room and a tin of veg soup - make lots of noise, tell her to let you sleep, then spend the day on here. If she tries to bother you hand her the bucket with soup in [hsmile]

Thanks mumsnetters... My first unanimous YANBU... Now to hunt out some vegetable soup...

Thanks mumsnetters... My first unanimous YANBU... Now to hunt out some vegetable soup...

I'd be happy for MIL to come, she'd be washing sheets and runing baths for me to keep DS clean. Maybe you should just give your MIL instructions to that effect and if anyone questions just say "I thought you were coming to help with the sick DCs". And presumably she will entertain when you get it.

missed cansu's post!

you should be able to say no when a visit doesn't suit you.

I think a bit of assertiveness is called for here pot and kettle cos l struggle to say no to relatives especially in laws. You need to say to her, 'Look l know you arent worried for yourself but l often need the spare bed when the children are sick in the night and you wont be able to do much with them anyway. So l am going to have to put you off till they're better.'
I put the 'going to have to' in italics because it is a statement rather than a question - i.e. 'do you mind if l put you off?' - cos you know what her answer would be to that !
People like this who ride roughshod over what other people want to get what they want really annoy me l'm afraid and it took me a long time to learn to use phrases as above as l am such a wimp. But once you start it is very liberating.