Wibu about this "seat saving" incident in the Michelin starred restaurant that is...

[IHaveNoShameLeft]

McDonalds. (Apologies for the thread title!)

Have name changed incase I was being unreasonable, so here goes:

I went to McDonald's yesterday with dd aged 5. I NEVER go in there on a Saturday, but she's recently started school so decided to treat her with a quick lunch and day in town.

We took our order upstairs and found that it was chockablock. I walked further in and found one small empty stool seat for dd and she sat down. There was a woman waiting at the table without any food and she told me she was saving the seats for friends. I told her I was only putting dd down to eat. She was getting more and more aggravated by dd sitting there.

Suddenly she tapped me on my arm and told me seats were empty behind me. I wanted to leave dd there as I couldn't be arsed to move again, but seeing as this idiot was about to suffer a heart attack for us taking her friends space I picked up Dd and put her down on the empty seat.

I had just put her down and was about to sit down myself when a woman jumped out of nowhere and declared she was saving the seat for someone and that we couldn't sit there. I looked at her. No food in her hands. I replied loudly (so other woman heard me too) that you can't save seats for people when you have no food. There are others who have paid and have food to eat. She got angry and started shouting at me about why I hadn't moved other people. I looked at her and said loudly, "you can't save seats for people that aren't here. Show me any rules about seat saving and I'll move". I sat down and started eating. She stood and stared at me (trying to intimidate me) for about 3 mins, during which time no one had come up with her food. She then huffed loudly and walked off.

Now, normally I would have not even imagined doing something like this. But I feel I've grown up a lot and am becoming less and less caring about what people will think of me. I told DH, and he agrees with what I did. I had food to eat and the seats were empty. I had already been forced to move by another woman, and I wasn't going to start moving around the whole place with a child.

So wibu?

OMG this is getting ridiculous now. It's fucking McDonalds FFS.

Anyway, MrsKeith, adults sitting at a table with a child may not be something you agree with (and FWIW if there were other spare spaces, I agree they should've gone to them), but that does not make them bullying cunts. The parent has to bare some responsibility for putting their small child on a table alone in a packed restaurant. It wasn't the most sensible thing to do, and they must've acknowledged that people may want those seats. Putting that kid in that position was not a good idea. Parent more at fault for that than anyone.

As I said, if the restaurant is nowhere near full, I don't think this is such a problem, but clearly in the story you have told, that wasn't the case.

and another thing is if they had tried to engage her in conversation the mum could have very easily misinterpreted that in todays times sadly. My lovely DH was ranted at by two women yesterday whilst sat waiting for me outside Debenhams toilets (complete with my handbag and coat on his lap). There were two lovely little girls about 8 and 9yrs whom he sat next to (he has a bad knee at moment and standing kills him and he was sat at arms length from them) on the long bench provided for 'waiting' purposes outside the loos They were obviously waiting for these two women their mum and aunt possibly. They were all kitted out in the local football teams colours and scarves etc obviously going to the match - 3pm kick off yesterday. My DH merely said to them 'Are you going to win today then ?' etc etc and they were chatting back to him when these two women came out and started on him, then l came out and started on them and the whole scene just descended into chaos basically.

He should have just blanked them really shouldnt he. Or should he

Sudaname, that's a truly sad indictment of attitudes these days. No your DH should not have blanked them. Their parents/carers shouldn't have been so twattish.

I await to hear the mathematical theory which explains how seat saving is 'better' in terms of customer flow. What a pile of nonsense.

Mrskeithrichards - you are over thinking this. Someone with a trayful of food is not taking a stance and wishing to discuss anything. They simply want to eat their meal. I would rather sit at a completely free table; if there isn't one then of course I'm going to sit where there's a free chair, regardless of the age of anyone else at the table. It's eminently more sensible than trying to eat a meal standing up. It's not about discussion and stances- its a quick meal in a self service cafe!

Oh I do love a good seat saving incident thread

Just as an aside OP, you said "You can't save seats for people when you have no food".

Is this an actual rule in your local McDonalds or one you made up?

Only I've never seen a sign to that effect in any of my local Maccy Dees?

Am not sure janey, in a fast food outlet available seating is a more visible indicator than the length of the queue that somewhere is full. But am sure someone somewhere will have looked at it!

I would go and eat at a table with spare seats at it. I would smile at the child and ask her if she was with anyone but if she ignored me or said she was saving a seat I would sit down and eat my food and not say anything else. Fail to see how that is intimidating. fail to see why people can't share tables especially when they think its ok for one person tohog four seats while three people eat standing up or traipse round. Of course if you're worried a child can't cope with normal interactions then it's best to keep her in the queue with you and search for your own table thus risking having to talk to ghastly other people yourself.

Surely it's more efficient use of seats and therefore 'flow-through' for people using seats to be eating rather than not?

That a sad attitude puppy

Yes binky- but logic escapes some people.

The problem is, is that if there are lots of people doing it people may feel they have to join in to have any hope of getting a seat.

Yes Tidy it is and although my DH is an intelligent man and obviously understands parents sometimes near paranoic defensiveness of their children (he is one himself and a grandad) he was still quite upset by the horrible situation.

One of the first things l ranted pointed out to these two women was that if they were that concerned they maybe shouldnt leave them sat alone in a public seating area and especially kitted out as they were which is much more likely to attract banter tbf.

he is a parent himself , not a child obviously ,

Sudaname- it's very sad isn't it? I think very many men have a truly difficult time these days- they can't act in an instinctive normal friendly way towards children, and thats got to be a very damaging thing for society generally.

That is awful Sudan really sad, no wonder adults are afraid of children.

Oh sudaname that is horrible.

Surinam, words fail me. What a sad paranoid world we live in. My dd decided she wanted to sleep in my dad's room a few weeks ago which I found sweet. When I told a friend she made a face, and said "that's a bit weird". Ffs. It's MY dad, my Dd's grandfather. I can't recall the amount of times I slept in my mum and dads bed when I was a child, but this "friend" thought it was wrong for my dd. that is a whole other thread though!

My view would be that seat saving is ok until people with food are unable to get seats. It's just antisocial to continue sitting at a table when other people ready to eat are stood up. Most people just think of themselves though. I remember going to Waitrose cafe when DS was a baby and finding all the tables occupied, some by old blokes who were just waiting for their wives to finish shopping but the lovely staff came and asked one of them to move so I could sit and feed myself and DS

I defy anyone to find a couple with bags and bags of Christmas shopping where one of them doesn't sit down and bagsie a table while the other one gets the food. How else do you manage? Humans only have two hands and are not brilliant at balancing trays on their heads.

If you go into a waitress served cafe you get a table first. If none are available you wait or go elsewhere. Why should self-service be any different? I agree it's hard if you are on your own with a couple of toddlers but being MNers you shouldn't be there in the first place apparently.

Yes thanks for all the sympathy it is very sad really. Thing is that gets me about it is what if there was a situation of some sort where a mans intervention might help or only a a man available. For example l remember being shoulder carried screaming my head off by a passing neighbour when l fell as a child and badly cut my leg. l couldnt walk and this 'method of transport' got me to my parents and into an ambulance much quicker. l doubt today if many male neighbours would whisk an injured child up onto their shoulders without thinking more than twice about it, however innocent and helpful their intentions.

True. If a child is lost or hurt and bawling its eyes out without the parent being nearby, adults just look at each other. I usually bellow 'oh dear! Are you with mummy or daddy? Are you alright? Where's mummy then? Is she coming? Is that her? Or is that her?' In a huge arms length pantomine until the 'responsible adult' appears.

That's what I do Front sort of say 'Are you ok?' in a v loud voice. I can't say for sure what DH would do though.

as for your dad Noshameleft - l know , l know !
My DS is a dad and stepdad (from infancy so loves equally as his 'own' and is the only father figure she has as natural father never been involved) to his two DDs and they both always like to climb into his bed on a weekend morning (in their pyjamas etc to watch his telly etc.) when he has them (split with their mother sadly) and he gets a similiar reaction re his eldest (technically his step daughter) as she is twelve now.
But the dilemma is - does he let his 'own' DD still climb in until she grows out of this naturally but 'ban' her sister on the grounds she has reached a certain age which could put him under suspicion.
Sorry for hijack OP , as you were sorry.

I seat save.