Wibu about this "seat saving" incident in the Michelin starred restaurant that is...

[IHaveNoShameLeft]

McDonalds. (Apologies for the thread title!)

Have name changed incase I was being unreasonable, so here goes:

I went to McDonald's yesterday with dd aged 5. I NEVER go in there on a Saturday, but she's recently started school so decided to treat her with a quick lunch and day in town.

We took our order upstairs and found that it was chockablock. I walked further in and found one small empty stool seat for dd and she sat down. There was a woman waiting at the table without any food and she told me she was saving the seats for friends. I told her I was only putting dd down to eat. She was getting more and more aggravated by dd sitting there.

Suddenly she tapped me on my arm and told me seats were empty behind me. I wanted to leave dd there as I couldn't be arsed to move again, but seeing as this idiot was about to suffer a heart attack for us taking her friends space I picked up Dd and put her down on the empty seat.

I had just put her down and was about to sit down myself when a woman jumped out of nowhere and declared she was saving the seat for someone and that we couldn't sit there. I looked at her. No food in her hands. I replied loudly (so other woman heard me too) that you can't save seats for people when you have no food. There are others who have paid and have food to eat. She got angry and started shouting at me about why I hadn't moved other people. I looked at her and said loudly, "you can't save seats for people that aren't here. Show me any rules about seat saving and I'll move". I sat down and started eating. She stood and stared at me (trying to intimidate me) for about 3 mins, during which time no one had come up with her food. She then huffed loudly and walked off.

Now, normally I would have not even imagined doing something like this. But I feel I've grown up a lot and am becoming less and less caring about what people will think of me. I told DH, and he agrees with what I did. I had food to eat and the seats were empty. I had already been forced to move by another woman, and I wasn't going to start moving around the whole place with a child.

So wibu?

And Janey I'm not stupid. If someone is sitting at a table it isn't free. If you're not sharp enough to ensure you've got somewhere to eat your dinner don't take it out on a child.

I'm quite shocked you would do the same. Would you be happy for someone to put one of your dc in that position?

No I would not put my child in that position in the first place, especially if the place is busy and this is likely to happen more

Acceptable/unacceptable pah! It's a dog eat dog world in our McDonalds - you do what you need to to survive.

I have to say that my DC are 13 and 10 and neither of them would do table saving even if I asked them to. Probably because they would worry they would get turfed off by an adult.

I think it's shameful that adults would behave like that to a child.

Fair enough engage in a conversation about the issue with another adult but don't bully a child.

What is the scottish deli?

McDonalds apparently.

The child had to share a table she wasn't eating at. Big deal. Or did these people with food to eat do anything nasty except for asking her to budge up. I don't understand why people can't share tables anyway.

Keithrichards- you said earlier the adults ignored the girl- its your interpretation that that constitutes 'bullying'. From what you describe, a group of adults chose to select their own food at the counter and carry their trays to a table (perfectly normal reasonable behaviour - in fact eminently more sensible than some of the adults trying to juggle more than one tray!) I assume there was no completely free table because as I said earlier most adults would prefer not to sit with a random child, but as there weren't, they sat at a table with sufficient free chairs and one lone non eating child. Yes, I do think it's utterly stupid and nonsensical for anyone to think the better option is for the adults to wander around rather than sit and eat!

MrsKeith, if you felt this strongly about the behaviour of the adults, then why didn't you say anything to them? It's all very well sharing your anger about the little girl being bullied by adults on here, but, if she really was "bullied", then you should have stood up for her there and then and not let her be intimidated by them.

The problem with seat saving on a large scale is that the system breaks down. If no one did it then people who had their food could sit down eat and leave, making space for those behind them in the queue.

If people save seats then you have people wandering around d with hot food who cannot get seated, they in turn holdup the next lot of people.

So seat savers ruin it for everybody (wags finger severely) (normal exclusions apply)

It's not sharing a table it was a table for 4. There was one of her and 3 of them and no room for anyone else.

That's not sharing. Sharing would be 2x2 people sitting at a table for 4.

They didn't ask her to budge up, she was in one seat next to the wall, they sat beside and opposite her. I didn't even hear them talk to her.

Quite intimidating for a 6 year old I'd imagine.

'if someone is sitting at a table it isn't free'

But presumably there were several chairs free and sufficient table space for said group of adults to eat their meal! Free space is free space- you don't 'own' a table just by sticking a coat, bag or child on one chair! Not unless you live in a world which revolves entirely around yourself....

I didn't realise they weren't her people until her mum came along then the whole situation became clear.

I thought I'd said that.

So you think it's ok behaviour and you, with 2 friends in tow would do the same? You'd sit at a table of 4 where one child is already there? You think that's ok?

Would you be quite happy if it happened to one of yours? I don't think 3 adults sitting around one child is sharing.

So... The "bullying cunts" as you charmingly described them upthread, you actually mistook for the parents with the girl... They clearly weren't being awful at all- sounds to me like a group of 3 adults who each chose a meal and carried their tray to where they could find 3 spare seats .. How very dare they!

It didn't transpire until the girls mum turned up what had happened. It was at that going the situation became clear to me and I deduced that yes, they were bullying cunts, by deciding to descended on a lone child quite obviously saving the seat rather than doing so to an adult.

Point, not going!

You don't think it's awful. I thought it was an absolutely awful way to behave.

I'm not going to think otherwise. I don't expect you to have to agree.

'Why don't you just sit down on your invisible chair and eat your invisible food'. That's what I'd say (or rather that's what I'd think as I'm a wuss!)

I would and do plonk myself and the kids down when there is someone sat at an empty table, I've had some tuts and some 'looks' but never once has anyone said anything to me. I think I have one of those faces though

I wouldn't do it if it were a child sat there though, I would worry that they would find it intimidating.

I think that's fair enough if you want to challenge the behaviour then do so with someone who can stand up for themselves or at least understand the issue in the first place!

If I've bought a meal I'll sit where there's a space... Preferably at an empty table but if there are no free tables at all then yes, at a table with one lone person. It's not bullying or intimidating - its not a problem at all to the lone person who doesn't even have a meal to eat yet! You could equally well say its intimidating to sit at a table without food to try to prevent customers from being able to sit down!

This is about common sense. For all the person with food knows, the lone person may be going to sit there for another ten minutes - they may be with someone whos just joined the back of the busy queue. The eating customer may well finish their meal and go before the non eater gets food in a busy eatablishment. A cafe is for eating, the tables are for eating off- why on earth would anyone without food try to stop someone from eating - unless they have a massively overblown sense of superiority!

Seat saving is fine IMO, no point in buying food if nowhere to sit. In the absence of written rules there is a free-for-all, so who wins the seat comes down to an unpleasant stand-off between customers.

The points about seat savers somehow spoiling "the system" don't stack up in terms of logic . There is mathematical analysis of this stuff, queueing theory or something (remembering A-level!).

In big car parks when spaces are full a "full" sign comes up. In service restaurants the maitre d knows when tables are full. In queues in shops, restaurants etc it isn't as visible, but at some point customers will decide the wait will be too long or no seat will be available and go elsewhere. It could be argued that people saving seats is better for informing potential customers' decisions, since it is a more visible indicator that a place is full than a queue for payment (which will also include people getting take away).

The lone person was a 6 year old child Janey. Did you miss that point?

Take up your stance with someone who can understand and discuss the issue.